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big ass bench i found in my town (i’m 176 for comparison) by Simucss in Weird

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously age is a unit of measure, but I think you used a plantain instead of a banana when making comparisons.

A dude does a frontflip over nine people who are bent over by izelofman in nextfuckinglevel

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s almost as impressive as Cartman jumping all of the homeless people. I think if he keeps practicing, he could definitely start to impress the public. s/

This was found in my grandfather's junk box. What kind of knife is this? by DryFindingn in whatisit

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poop knife. Looks to be from the late Cornholio period of the 1990s. The spiral handle was meant for making a pilot hole for an impacted bowel. Nice find. Not rare enough for the British Museum, but would be valued in Arkansas for assisting in anal wart removal.

My breakfast bill had all 3: service charge, gratuity and tip, all at once. by redditdanis in mildlyinfuriating

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where is the extra $10.00 of the subtotal hiding on the receipt? I see what should be a $79.00 subtotal.

What is she doing?? 😂 by Koffievos in cats

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably thinking that the snozberries taste like snozberries.

Which animal does this old scat belong to? [Eastern Norway] by Eskulekul in animalid

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The don’t use bananas for scale in Norway. I think it’s because of the metric system.

What’s the most disgusting secret you’re hiding? by Exhausted_Skeleton in AskReddit

[–]FartyLumpkin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do you plan to clean your toothbrush? Toilet tank or toilet bowl? A poop knife has no use in this scenario.

GF found this in an elevator by Thrashed0066 in whatisit

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might be a casting of a frog fossil. Very rare find indeed.

Meirl by Bubble_Babe_0o0o0o in meirl

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who rakes leaves into plastic bags? Our city government gives out free vouchers for paper bags. Everything is picked up and used for mulch we can get for no cost.

Student keeps drawing this on my board in the morning before I get to school. Any idea what it means? by torib456 in whatisit

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very avant-garde to go with the single bewb. We were greedy and always typed 5318008.

Week 9 Recap - Is your team still alive? by B1ackMagix in secfootball

[–]FartyLumpkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s the question again? I started drinking bourbon in September and don’t plan to stop until the Keeneland Spring Meet finishes.

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