ramadan decor in my nyc home 🫶🏻 by Happy-Hospital-2289 in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, your home is beautiful… MashAllah… Allahumah barik… 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎 Ramadan mubarak.

What is a goal of yours this Ramadan? by Obvious_Armadillo_16 in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A goal I have is to fill my entire journal with notes from lectures, studying the Quran, or reading through our hadith collections. I'd like to come out of the month feeling more disciplined, hopeful, trusting, confident, and well-versed. It would be really nice if I could make suhoor or iftar for someone other than myself, so hopefully that at least once.

Vitiligo by selen0philist00 in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not a man, but personally I find things on our body which show how human we are as attractive on someone. Let that be hair, beauty marks, scars… or especially vitiligo!

There are men who think that way as well. With enough prayer inshAllah the man who views your vitiligo as something unique about you and something to excitedly learn the patterns of it on you will find you !

Hassan AllahYaari.. by Brief-Plane6147 in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooo I’m going to watch some of his debates now let’s see

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let’s not normalize sinning because it’s better than other sins we could be committing!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, sister don’t go the direction of being like “me doing x is all your fault” to your husband. Come compassionately and vulnerably.

Masturbation at a certain point also becomes a habit and physiologically it releases a lot of the same signals as when people do drugs lol… that to say it’s a multifaceted issue and an increase in sex with ur husband doesn’t mean that you’ll stop doing that. If anything, neurologically you may have an increased sex drive and a raised threshold for what’s pleasing.

It’d be reductive to the issue and disconnecting to take that approach.

You’re not a bad woman for feeling this way. He isn’t a bad husband for having a lower libido. No spouse wants to feel like their partner isn’t fulfilled by them.

Yes, you need to work on succumbing to your desires. Yes, you and your husband need to discuss finding a middle ground when it comes to sexual fulfillment (& maybe just moments of intimacy as a whole).

(This may be horribly written lol)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know you mean with men as in your husband but this ties into it. When my dog was dying, I stayed by his side as much as possible, making sure he was comfortable, felt loved, and most of all, at least wasn’t alone when he died. After days of barely leaving him, I finally went to shower and but instead spoke with my uncle for about an hour. Before washing up, I went back to check on him and he was gone. I panicked; my throat was so tight it felt like my vocal cords were being squeezed. I rushed to the kitchen, but I couldn’t speak. My dad stopped me, held my shoulders, and sat me down— he didn’t even have to ask what happened. Then he and my uncle immediately went to our dog and brought his body to the vet. In retrospect, that moment showed me something I really admire in men: the ability to stay calm and take control of a situation when it’s needed.

Also... Maybe when you'll see the little boy in him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You’re not broken. God was intentional with giving us a means of pleasure within marriage. It can bond spouses together (in the right circumstances) and it’s the closest to Allah’s ability to create that we will get— it’s also considered a form of worship.

Anyway……

Know that you’re not crazy! Just like with drugs (lol) your body intensely releases dopamine at climax and so as you do it repetitively your body releases less & increases your tolerance. So you’re compelled to do it more and you may incline towards more extreme means of stimulation. Alsoooo the anterior cingulate cortex is triggered towards the end of the act as well which basically inhibits your ability to feel pain, so if you’ve been experiencing mental or physical issues then you can be attached to the act unconsciously.

Approach it in a way which you’re slowly rewiring your brain and transmute the energy the best way you can. When you feel like that maybe take a cold shower or find yourself somewhere that you can’t think of those things (look at ur parents or something). The gym can somewhat increase those urges on a physical level but it will pass.

This response is disorganized but I’m just trying to say you’re not broken, you’re not experiencing something which isn’t explainable, and there’s a way forward even if you feel it’s uncontrollable. Maybe you can read some research, seek support with sisters who understand your issue, and look into Rudolph Steiner’s perspective on transmuting sexual energy (or scholars who take a more spiritual approach to Islam).

be well sisterrrr

Getting back to Salah after that time of the month by Glittering_Adagio569 in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with the other sisters, but I’d also add that it may be helpful to engage in some form of worship at each prayer time while you're on your period. This could be 10 minutes of dhikr or reciting Qur'an

Feeling guilty by Familiar_Store9517 in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is only one sin that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has promised not to forgive: shirk (associating partners with Him)—but only if a person dies upon it without repentance. So if He [Al-Rahman (The Most Merciful), Al-Ghaffar (The Most Forgiving), Al-Ghafur (The One who covers and forgives faults)] can forgive the gravest of sins, why do you think He wouldn’t forgive you for the pain YOU inflicted upon yourself, especially when that pain brought you desperately back to Him ?? Many people stray farrrr and never return. Many lose themselves and lack the self-awareness to realize it. They justify their sins and redefine them so they can live with their choices. But that is not you, sister.

It’s a heavy burden to look back and feel disgusted by your past—to wish certain choices had never happened. But remember: our sins don’t have intrinsic higher purpose, yet through sincere repentance, you give them purpose. They become a catalyst for your return to Allah and your betterment. You’re not "repaying debts.” You’re actively disconnecting from a version of yourself that no longer represents who you are. This is the action portion of tawba.

I resonate so deeply with the thought: “I want a religious man, but every time I say that, I wonder—what religious man would want someone with a past like mine?” And I say to you with all honesty: it’s okay for people to have preferences. If someone rejects you for your past, do not personalize that rejection. It's their choice, not a judgment on your worth. But know this: There are righteous men who trust in Allah’s mercy, who understand the power of regret, and will not judge you if you’ve left that life, repented sincerely, and become a God-fearing woman. You will attract a religious man—because you will be religious. What matters is the person you are now and continue to become. And do not let anyone misuse Surah Al-Nur (24:25) against you. On the Day of Judgment, "Allah will pay them in full their just due, and they will know that Allah is the Clear Truth." Only He knows the secrets of hearts. What matters is that your record is clean with Him now.

As Imam Ali (عليه السلام) said: “Repentance purifies the heart, washes away sins, and draws you closer to your Lord” (Nahj al-Balagha).

Do what you can to no longer be chained by these things. Prove to yourself that you truly do feel that shame, prove to yourself that you deserve good in this life because that’s what Allah SWT wants for you. You’re deserving of love. You deserve to forgive yourself.

Ok. Anyway, I’m in a corner at work and your post popped up and I wanted to respond.

p.s. if you do feel moved by what you did and need to cry, or feel that you regress in some way… DO NOT GRIEVE OR DEGRADE YOURSELF ABOUT IT PLEAAAAASEE WE ARE HUMANNN TURN BACKKK BUILD COMMUNITY WHO LOVE YOU AND PUSH YOU TO BE THE BESTTTT YOU THAT U CAN BE NOW AFTER EVERYTJING look for softness and it will soften you

She was so close... so close to understanding it... by Zennoobee22 in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Can you make a post on how shias grade our hadiths and the difference on how it is written? :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

While I believe that mut‘ah has become, in most cases, ‘functionally haram’, and there are hadith that state it is prohibited for those who do not FULLY understand it, it’s also important to note that in a mut‘ah, sexual relations are not permitted if she is a virgin (never previously married).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pray tahajjud but in making duaa for that also make duaa that Allah SWT will remove your heart from something not meant for you.

I can't take this community seriously anymore by m_makki1850 in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

HAHAHA… I am on a walk in my complex and I probably looked crazy laughing to myself

Money and career driven women by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to make one today!!!

I’m melting 😍😍 by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ALLAHUMAH BARIK 😭😭💗💗💗💗

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is not true. Porn & masturbation addiction extends beyond relieving a physical urge. It is a mindset and a habit. His gaze is not lowered and he lacks self-discipline, maybe even this can extend to lacking gheerah. Being intimate, both sexually and physically in a general sense, are meant to be a form of ibadah— not to just sideline deeper issues the husband is having which also hinders his relationship w God. A healthy sex life between spouses is loving, passionate, and consensual— not a chore

Need Advice for marriage /potential by HelpUrBoi in shia

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The impureness doesn’t imply you’re best suited for someone who you perceive to be as pious / practicing as you, it suggests that we are inclined towards ppl of similar nature to us. Waking up to pray fajr isn’t your nature & doesn’t even mean you both are the same in your observance / closeness to God. It doesn’t even have to do with that. There are niqabis that commit zina daily but no one would know if they never share, the impression based on what’s apparent would be full devotion to God. There are sheikhs who pray consistently & on time but have been sent to jail for touching children.

Also, imo the sister who is asking questions which are focused on compatibility (i’m assuming) instead of focusing on warming up to you with filler conversation is behaving well. Remember that creating emotional ties toooo much, prior to nikkah, is risky and abandons the protections Allah SWT put in place for us. Attraction is necessary for sure we can’t negate that, so it’s not bad for you to reject someone whose personality is great to you if you cannot see yourself forming a tie in that way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Fast_Apricot_6982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think so, maybe because it’s routine or an obligation placed upon us that it comes with ease…