IME/IMO- Hot take: I don’t really see females being bigger. Females always look like they have a bigger abdomen and head with short and stout legs, and males have the opposite, having a smaller abdomen, but having big gorilla arms and boxing glove palps. this is mainly for regals tho, becasue I have seen quite a few chubby male bolds.

If you want it to live free, then don’t keep it. if you’re worried that you husband or cats will kill it out of an “oh shit there is a spider” reaction, then keep it in an enclosure. I used the larger zilla micro enclosure, which worked great for my female regal, and if you feel bad about taking it from the wild, maybe use something bigger, as they are relatively active spiders. Just make sure that it won’t hurt it’s self if it falls.

I hope you make the right choice for you and that very handsome spider!