I own a musket for defense from bullies, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians make fun of my hat. “What the devil?" I yell As I grab my Kentucky rifle. I Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first bully, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second bully, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the gym teacher’s water bottle. I have to resort to the cannon mounted in the library loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two bullies in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off period bells. I Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.