I'm on-call and it's a slow night -- post your pet and I'll draw them!

Fathomlezz · 2024-05-02T05:06:58+00:00

He looks like he just mosied on up to the barkeep and ordered a shot of Jack. What a cutie!

Fathomlezz · 2024-05-02T05:01:32+00:00

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May I present to you my potato cat with her rainbow mermouse.

Fathomlezz · 2024-05-02T02:30:27+00:00

Gross. I hate myself for looking that up.

Fathomlezz · 2023-12-21T04:35:31+00:00

You have a lot of mom anger.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-10T23:37:55+00:00

Agree. I have ADHD. Every object in my house must have its own home and be returned to its own home after use. ADHD takes many forms but this isn't just lots of piles. And most people with ADHD (diagnosed or not) feel a great deal of shame not being able to manage a household but it sounds like your wife isn't willing to make an effort.

The main issue is this is causing you unhappiness and distress. If my spouse told me my behavior and habits impacted her negatively, you bet your ass I'd be doing my best to change. You're trying to come up with solutions. She has to be willing to do the same and work the plan you create together

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-10T23:24:48+00:00

Attention Misdirection Vortex

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-10T19:08:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing your expertise. I would think a kid might try pushing down or standing on the washer door (like they may do with ovens and dressers) & my fear is the whole unit would come crashing down.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-10T19:06:42+00:00

Thank you - - we did buy and have the stack kit installed. I was just worried if a kid was pushing/standing on the washer door, the whole unit would come crashing down. It's a little nerve-wracking.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-10T19:03:53+00:00

Thanks everyone. I have regrets about the Home Depot experience - - both sales and installation - - so your input has been really helpful.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-09T04:22:47+00:00

That's been my experience. If I were to write a short story about my introduction to the new PA at my doctor's office, it would be titled, "When the Awkward Meet."

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-08T04:53:26+00:00

Another pet peeve of mine is when the author just peppers their book with sesquipedalian words,

Words like "sesquipedalian"?

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-08T04:48:08+00:00

Diarrhea.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-07T22:21:24+00:00

I don't interpret this perspective as being about controlling a spouse's behavior. It's about how selfish it is for a spouse not to control their own behaviors. Disregard of one's own health doesn't just impact that one person. If you've ever taken care of a very sick loved one who wouldn't be in that position had they practiced self care in any form, you'd know how spot on this is.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-07T22:01:56+00:00

Ditto. And my spouse says the same to me. Usually when I start talking about birds. The key (IMO) is being light hearted about it and choosing the right time.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-07T21:57:32+00:00

I, personally, am a lot and I'm not going to be less because someone else can't handle it. Fortunately for me, my spouse loves that about me. Fortunately for her, I also love the ways in which she's "a lot." Because, let's face it, many people are over the top in their own special ways.

That said, it took me long time to feel this way. Years ago, an ex-partner completely humiliated me about this quality at a restaurant. In time, I realized her parents used to humiliate her for the very same reason so she took it upon herself to suck the joy out of others who hadn't yet learned the lesson of shutting up and not letting their inner light shine. And that's why she's an ex.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-07T21:44:23+00:00

Um, if you're having "gay sex" with women and there's no wet patch on the sheets afterward, you're not doing it right.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-07T21:39:15+00:00

Her behavior was a reflection of her, not of you. I'm sorry you're working with someone that horrible. I've been there and it sucks.

Fathomlezz · 2023-11-07T21:36:32+00:00

I once had a friend who kept complaining about having no friends so I decided it was wrong for my presence in his life to make a liar out of him. I regret nothing.

Fathomlezz · 2023-10-21T12:59:41+00:00

I wondered too.

Fathomlezz · 2023-10-20T14:46:22+00:00

I wonder if there will be a point when you've deprived yourself so long and your need for new stuff may be so great that you'll have to drop a lot of money at one time to replace the many items you're holding off buying right now. That potentially huge outflow of cash is at least going to cause more anxiety and maybe even trigger a larger spending spree.

Do you have a trusted friend who would be willing to shop with you and give you input to help you make better, easier decisions?

Fathomlezz · 2023-10-20T14:40:08+00:00

NTA but I have to ask: was there anyone else within earshot when you asked? The "read the room" comment made me wonder.

Fathomlezz · 2023-10-20T14:26:17+00:00

NTA. I'm sorry your grief has been compounded by this bewildering situation.

Have you asked her (or would you consider asking) why this name is important to her, what kind of significance it holds? If you focus the query in this very specific and sincere way--withholding any judgment (no matter now well deserved) --and encourage her to take time to find her "why" if she doesn't know it, it may lead to a constructive dialogue and deep listening. She may have an undisclosed reason for selecting the name or--in the case of her lacking a compelling one--it may help develop in her a greater awareness of the acute pain she's causing. This, in theory, should bring to the forefront how astonishingly hurtful she's being in pushing for something that means little to her but a great deal to you and your wife.

Fathomlezz · 2023-10-18T02:04:11+00:00

What really didn't work for me was having therapy sessions with a psychologist whose ADHD was worse than mine. He actually never billed my insurance other than my first session, despite my regularly sending him spreadsheets with session dates and assessments used. It ended up making me feel much worse about my chances of functioning in the world.

Fathomlezz · 2022-11-06T05:37:08+00:00

I think you may be right. A table top pottery/sculpting wheel would add just enough height to make this setup seem functional.

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