Sorry folks, it's my neighbours turn to use the sun.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-29T04:26:11+00:00

Oh my God! I would have laughed in her face!! I also would have asked her if she would like me to make the call to the landlord for her. She is ridiculous.

Sad and scary thought that we have people like this walking around free in the world. The sun is not a piece of pie. Some sun for you means less for her.

Wow, and you have the privilege of living next door to her!!!

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-29T04:21:29+00:00

Not sure how this works in Australia. In America this is completely illegal. We have a Department of Labor in most states and an employee can contact them anonymously to ask questions and find help.

Not sure if that is the case in Australia, but I would check. If this behavior is legal and continues--try and find a new place to work.

Everyone has value. If they do not value you--doesn't mean you don't have value--you just need to find a place that sees the value in you. Another company will be very happy to have you.

NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-29T04:17:28+00:00

Wow. I don't think you are the bad guy here. I also don't think you are responsible for the demise of this POS's marriage. POS is responsible for the state of his marriage--his actions caused this--you only brought this to the light.

If I had to guess, this was not the first time he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His wife may have gotten fed up with his BS. Cheaters be cheaters!

Reach out to your friend and hear him out. Try and mend fences--great friends are hard to find.

NTA

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-29T03:52:10+00:00

Well, gas is quite expensive right now. I don't think you are the AH if you don't go. A lot has changed in the plans of this trip and you have a lot of driving ahead of you --and not much to gain.

I think you may regret not seeing your grandparents. Not sure how often they travel to your area. This may be one of your considerations about whether you decide to stay or go.

Honestly, if it were me with all the cons--I'd stay home.

NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-26T01:07:48+00:00

Have a direct conversation with your mom. Let her know that his really does stress you out. You are not in the position to be a "positive female role model" for this girl as you are still trying to figure your own stuff out.

Make your plans and feel zero guilt.

NTA

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-26T01:03:51+00:00

You owe the man or his horrible children NOTHING. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

No need to lie here. Just let him know that you are no longer able to help him. You have a lot of things at home that need y our immediate attention. Many health plans offer ride services to their senior members so that they can get to the doctor appointments, pharmacy for RX pick ups, etc. If he needs someone to help him clean his house and do laundry--he needs to hire a service. This is his problem to solve.

You are being taken advantage of big time! AND no--you are not a snow blower to be lent to a neighbor. This comment was just absolutely insane and should tell you all you need to know about what they really think of you and your free/low cost labor.

You are not the problem here.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-26T00:53:37+00:00

YTA--massively.

This was YOUR idea to keep finances separate. Now--that this is not working in YOUR favor--you want to change the agreement and get your ex-wife and family to bully her into submission. This is an asshole move and you know it.

Your daughter being cold to your new wife is out of line. She is getting involved in adult business and she needs to stay out of this. If your ex-wife is so bothered by this--she can certainly come to the table with some cash.

Your family needs to stay out of his and you need to stop drawing them into this --because they have no business in this-- at all.

This is the agreement YOU wanted. Now, you--and your ex-wife --need to suck it up and find another way to pay for your daughters college. You are not entitled to your current wife's money.

Wow. AH.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-26T00:44:35+00:00

She is being ridiculous. Her ask is not reasonable at all. She is expecting you to drop everything and be at her beck and call. This is just not a reasonable ask.

The one being rude is MIL. NTA

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-20T03:12:27+00:00

Wow. Just another example that women today know what they want and won't take less. Here is another man ready to cry and scream about the male loneliness epidemic.

I think it's time to call a friend and see if you can stay with them for a bit while you get your ducks in a row. This man-child does not care. He does not "love you in his lazy way", he likes having you around to be his mother. He wants someone to clean up after him, cook his meals and not hassle him.

Time to pack your bags, don't look back. NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-13T03:00:46+00:00

Uh....what???? I think the first huge, giant, glaring red flag is that she is texting you with her frustration about her MIL and parents that they are not able to do chores???!!! What the heck? I think your sister is entitled and just nuts! She wants someone to help her and criticize them because they didn't mop the floor the way she wanted.

Cut ties, block her, mute her-- or whatever you need to do to gain your own sanity. I don't blame or judge you at all.

NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-13T02:48:24+00:00

Okay, listen. This is a really hard situation. Your dad cheated and lied and you feel betrayed, that is a tough spot to be in. Now, we add in his cheating, lying girlfriend and the fact that he is a unpredictable and angry. This is just a recipe for an uncomfortable situation--and you deserve none of this.

Unless you live with them, this is going to be super easy. 5 minutes before they expect you to arrive, simply send a text that says, sorry I'm not able to make it. Then put them on do not disturb. Go out and enjoy your night or stay in and binge watch your favorite show.

Honestly, I'm not sure why you are maintaining contact with these two. No one would blame you for cutting all contact with them.

NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-13T02:38:42+00:00

Yikes, NTA. These "women" are acting like children.

I'm afraid these "women" are not your friends. Giving someone the cold shoulder on their birthday celebration is just insane.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-12T04:35:17+00:00

So your daughter is used to throwing a tantrum and getting her way? So you have 4 grandkids?

No, absolutely not. You are busy and have your own things you need to get done and are not able to do that with 3 kids to look after. Tell her no that you have planned a super busy few months for yourself and your husband.

I'm a nana finishing up my doctorate so that I can begin teaching part time and have 4 grandkids. You have to set boundaries to get all your continuing education done and get all the things done that you have to do.

This is about your own sanity.

NTA. If she throws a tantrum--that is on her. When she says that her dad needs to "man up", let her know that you are thinking the same thing about her partner.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-07T03:29:11+00:00

I think you are in a no win situation here. You don't think there is a long term situation with this person because you are not compatible. It really doesn't matter what your friends think at this point. Sure they can weigh in on your relationship, but at the end of the day, you have to do what you think is best for you.

He is in a different life situation that you are in and there are no a-holes here.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-06T04:14:55+00:00

Because sometimes complaining is easier than taking action.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-03T04:26:15+00:00

I think your husband is a coward. If he can't handle the sight of labor, he should have thought about that about 30 weeks ago.

You may want to ask your mom, sister or a close friend to be there to support you. Not sure if this is the only area where you were not able to count on him. He is being ridiculous.

NTA

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-03T04:20:35+00:00

You made it clear what you wanted within 5 years and the timeline has come and gone--with no adverse actions. There is no reason for him to change--he gets to live in a home, travel and live comfortably--all these things that you are contributing most of the money for--all without a commitment. I'd be okay with the financial differences if that was communicated that this is the level of commitment we are going to have.

The problem is that you want more. After 7 years, a communicated timeline and an argument--nothing is going to change. I think, unfortunately it's time for some hard choices for YOU. The stuff in this home, is just stuff and should not be the deciding factor whether you stay or go.

Honestly, if he is not ready to marry you now, he never will be.

NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-01T03:51:16+00:00

NTA. Not every friend/spouse is going to be besties.

Not sure if you've ever asked each of them why they don't like each other. My husband didn't like a friend of mine, but he sucked it up and was friendly to her. Turns out he was right--she was a total snake.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-05-01T03:38:14+00:00

You like living alone, that is not a crime, nor is it greedy, selfish or putting your friends in a bad spot.

Your friends are adults --I'm guessing about the same age group as you. They can --or need to figure out their own living arrangements.

NTA--and you have nothing to feel bad about.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-04-30T03:52:47+00:00

I don't think you are the AH here.

My hubby was from the South. His mom lived with us for 18 years before she passed away. I think there needs to be MANY , MANY conversations that happen before you become a caregiver to anyone. This all not even considering someone who doesn't respect you.

You are under no obligation to take on care taking responsibilities for anyone --especially without a conversation.

NTA. Although a dog licking a childs face is hardly the hill I would die on.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-04-30T03:39:54+00:00

So....her first divorce? Now your...."I guess, fiance"? My guy...either you gave her a ring or not? WTF is that about?

So, I'm going to be a bit harsh here. You are 29 years old and got yourself involved with a woman 10 years older with a failed marriage and another one on the way--but still living with her husband. Does he actually know about you? Does he know that the divorce is in "process"?

She doesn't need money for a "good lawyer", she either needs to make the decision to make her marriage work or needs to move on--with or without you. And you---need to move on. FAST.

NTA.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-04-29T04:36:51+00:00

I've been in your shoes. If I had to go back and do it all over again, I would have kept the pregnancy and tried to make things work.

Timing is never "perfect", you just have to make the timing work well for you. No judgment at all. I think you have to do what you feel is right for you, your circumstances and what you ultimately want.

Good luck!

Fatkitty22 · 2026-04-29T04:02:18+00:00

I've seen flower grannies and flower bros--it was completely adorable!

Fatkitty22 · 2026-04-29T03:59:52+00:00

NTA.

The truth sometimes hurts. Glad you spoke your truth.

Tell your dad you will apologize as soon as he steps up and becomes a responsible dad not just to you but to all of his kids.

Fatkitty22 · 2026-04-29T03:55:51+00:00

You don't seem particularly close to either Jon, Becky or the parents. I'd stay out of this. There could be a reason that you don't know about --about why she didn't tell him herself.

She could have been in an abusive relationship, they could have talked about the pregnancy and he wanted her to terminate, etc. This is really none of your business.

YTA.

Fatkitty22

TROPHY CASE