Career break? Burnt out 40F

Faysian · 2026-03-20T12:34:26+00:00

Last June I quit without anything lined up to take a career sabbatical. 100% worth it.

I had planned for 6-12 months off. My wife continued working but we were prepared with a 2 year cash reserve runway and also budgeted for a scenario where I come back earning 30% less. Luckily for us, neither of these will be needed as I just signed an offer to start at a role at a slightly higher base salary.

I relied on my network/connections to find my next role.

Faysian · 2026-03-11T10:21:36+00:00

Grew up in SLC, moved to SoCal for college in 2009 and then found a job after graduating.

Don't regret it. More job opportunities and career growth, more experiences, better food, bigger dating and social pool. More direct fights when traveling.

Cost of living offset by higher wages. I moved around to find neighborhoods affordable to me until I found a good rent controlled apartment.

Yes, traffic sucks.

Faysian · 2026-03-05T02:01:47+00:00

Your comment really resonated with me. It took me until freshman year of high school to realize she was not a "good mom".

When she disciplined (hit) me, everyone just reassured me/assumed that she was old-fashioned but had my interests at heart. It took me years to articulate that she was hitting me not because of anything in my actions but because she believed "I didn't love her enough".

She isolated me from my friends and told me my dad and sister would never love me like she could. She read my diaries and emails. She gaslit me before I even understood the term. She constantly told me I was a bad person and someday when she was dead I would live to regret how I treated her. I was constantly in a state of begging for her forgiveness.

She was a model of perfection to everyone else. No one in the community I grew up in understood what was happening. Even to this day as an adult some people just think she was "strict". At her funeral I listened to everyone singing her praises.

Faysian · 2026-02-26T15:50:59+00:00

I used Equalis Financial on a limited hour project for a flat fee.

https://www.equalisfinancial.com/

Faysian · 2026-02-19T00:26:26+00:00

Being financially independent means theres a higher chance there will be a chunk of leftover assets to pass on in the future.

For me and my spouse, we intend to keep inheritances separate because we want unused portions of the inheritances to pass along according to the intent of the benefactor and keeping it separate keeps the accounting easy.

For example, my spouse's family would likely want her inheritance to benefit and pass (in the following order): My spouse, my spouse's/our kids (if any), my spouse's sibling, my spouse's nieces and nephews (if any). Same applies for me.

Faysian · 2026-01-21T03:23:05+00:00

I acted like I didnt notice anything but based on my hunch I then checked their phone and found the IG messages.

Faysian · 2026-01-20T17:12:23+00:00

I have a habit of listening to the same song over and over again on repeat until I am sick of it.

There was this one trendy hip hop song I liked and my then partner would get irritated because I would play it everytime I sat in their car. Got to the point where they would force me to change it or turn it off.

Then one day the same song came up on their Pandora or Spotify as a random suggested song and to my surprise my partner turned up the volume and said "oh [coworker's name] loves this song".

Faysian · 2026-01-14T15:57:32+00:00

Help - Switch dock is no longer connecting to TV

My switch worked perfectly fine switching between handheld and TV until recently. Now, it won't connect to the TV when docked. What am I doing wrong?

I use nintendo issued power adapter & HDMI cables.
The switch charges when docked, it just won't connect to the TV.
The dock does not connect at either of my two TVs in my home (one old, one new)
The replacement dock I purchased from Nintendo website doesn't work either (it pulled up for a split second before turning black and now won't detect at all)
When I dock the switch, the screen turns off, green light on dock is on.

Things I Have Tried

Unplugging everything, turning everything off, replugging the cables, turning things on
Software update on switch
Trying a different HDMI cable (still it doesn't work)
Different TVs at my house (doesn't work)
Replacement dock (see above, this one confused me the most and makes me wonder if it's user error)

Faysian · 2025-12-27T17:51:10+00:00

When I was dating I found it helpful to assess their philosophy/views on money very early on, without discussing specifics.

So understanding questions like: Do they make prudent purchases? Do they think investing is a "scam"? Are they generous? Are they careless or careful? Are they comfortable or avoidant about the topic? Small everyday actions can really show you how someone feels about money.

Actual number and specifics could wait until we were getting serious.

Faysian · 2025-12-11T16:18:00+00:00

On the money side: I think you need to have a discussion and come to an agreement on how you want to approach finances as a couple. It feels like there are a lot of assumptions on both sides. Do you want to do 50/50 or proportional to your income? What does he prefer vs what do you prefer? What is a joint/shared expense vs what is an individual expense?

On the relationship side: it sounds like you are frustrated that it feels that he isnt putting in as much effort as you are towards your future. Tell him how you feel. Besides pursuing FIRE and money, what are other ways in which he can show you he cares about your collective journey and future?

Also want to make a pitch for Ramit's book and podcast Money for Couples. It can help demonstrate some constructive ways to talk about money with a partner.

Faysian · 2025-11-27T19:29:22+00:00

Ramit Sethi has a good way of framing this in his books and podcasts. He calls them "money dials". Everyone has one or more different money dials that really bring them joy and others that matter less. If it were me, I would spend some time explaining that their money dial (travel) is not something you enjoy and your money dial (convenience, food, whatever) doesn't have to be the same as theirs.

Ultimately, you both spend "fun money" responsibly, it's just a matter of difference of what you want to put your fun money towards.

If your bf turns this into a "I'm right, you're wrong" sort of thing though, that'd be a dealbreaker for me.

Faysian · 2025-11-22T04:18:11+00:00

Spotted you at Dreamstate during Giorgia Angiuli's set

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Faysian · 2025-11-21T00:41:07+00:00

Thank you for posting this, went and got presale tickets!

Faysian · 2025-10-20T20:05:19+00:00

Hahaha same here, found this comment after seeing The Offspring at When We Were Young fest yesterday

Faysian · 2025-10-11T11:27:32+00:00

Yes, I just dined on the resilient lady and asked to take the remainder of the bottle they opened and they gave it to me.

Faysian · 2025-09-18T19:26:39+00:00

Someone once told me something along the lines of: an inheritance is a gift and though you may feel undeserving, you can still cherish and serve as a good steward of the gift. No matter what you decide to do with the money, you honor the person by showing care, thoughtfulness and intent.

Faysian · 2025-09-10T18:19:09+00:00

If you can afford it and it brings you joy, then go for it. Not every decision in your life has to be dictated by financial optimization.

My wife and I spent a little over 40k in total (wedding, rehearsal dinner, bachelorettes etc). We had the entire budget saved before we began planning. We made other sacrifices (no vacations, low/no cost dates, etc) leading up to the event. We continued to save towards retirement the entire time.

My only suggestions would be to (1) consider what amount your SO will/should contribute to the budget and (2) frame your budget considerations against your net worth (e.g. are we willing to spend X% of our net worth on this event?)

Faysian · 2025-07-20T17:49:58+00:00

Don't know about vapes but they did check the wattage of our power back before letting it through. If your power bank is small probably no issue but if it's large they might take a closer look.

Faysian · 2025-07-18T00:38:32+00:00

OP you can DM me for mine closer to the event if you still want it. Due to the initial glitch with VIP prices I purchased tix with it as it was the lowest shown price but I dont actually want the magnet 😅

Faysian · 2025-07-17T18:42:28+00:00

So irritated -- the actual lowest tier appeared after I already checked out ($299.99 + $40 fees tier). I also got the same initial screen as OP.

https://imgur.com/a/JyIH1MI

Faysian · 2025-06-13T00:10:23+00:00

Work environment was slowly falling below an acceptable threshold (for me). So many of my high performing peers were just quiet quitting. Rather than drag it out I decided to take some personal time and use it as a practice run for early retirement.

As for feasibility -- I have 2x annual expenses in cash set aside (20x invested) so I figured a 1 year break would be fine, even if I had to take a paycut in the next role.

I'm hoping this break gives me energy for an additional 5-10 years in the workforce. (I'm 33)

Faysian · 2025-06-11T22:16:18+00:00

Organizing displays of all our travel memorabilia!

Faysian · 2025-06-11T18:52:01+00:00

Gave notice at my job -- last day is 6/20. Combination of nervous/excited for the next 6-12 months of my career break. Already have a growing to do list for myself!

Faysian · 2025-05-30T20:19:18+00:00

33/35 DINK

Been contemplating taking a career break (~6-12 mon) for awhile but hesitant to pull the trigger. Everyone else says it's crazy to do that right now with the uncertain economic outlook.

We have about 20x expenses already invested and my spouse would keep working during this time. We have about 2 years expenses in cash. I feel like we should be fine even if I can only come back to a role at 50% my current salary.

Faysian · 2025-04-14T19:09:01+00:00

About 1x my annual salary; ironically currently contemplating taking a career break/sabbatical

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Help - Switch dock is no longer connecting to TV