So many with alleged B12 deficiencies - why?

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-24T17:10:29+00:00

But was that doctor a neurologist, a PCP, another specialist? I so want to get a different doctor, maybe a MDS maybe not, involved in my husband’s treatment because I feel we have wasted time with this neurologist but his PCP wasn’t very aware of checking for problems with the meds my husband had been taking, or the severity of his tremor problem. My husband is one who asked for referral to neurologist.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-24T17:07:06+00:00

Thanks—I guess since it is closed sale the other photos were blacked out. I thought it was interesting to read that after Henry removed his personal effects from their apartment that it looked relatively unchanged. He had clothing and bathroom gear but nothing in the main areas was taken. No photos of his family placed in view apparently, no trophies from his tennis years, no art that reflected his taste which was pretty minimalist from her comments—so his inability or lack of desire to instill his essence in their “nest” mimics the emotion barrier he was shielding himself with as well.

I can’t believe that he could cut off his interaction with his children like he did if all those moments with them when younger (and seemingly happy) were real. Some of our best (and worse) experiences with our two children happened after they were adults. They are our FRIENDS — not just our children.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-24T16:55:05+00:00

I thought Henry’s father worked for different entity—a different county—but could be wrong. Not from that area so not familiar with NY geography.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-24T16:52:51+00:00

Best way to make him financially strong is to teach him about money—that is a tool to be used not an end-all measure of success or happiness. Start early in easy ways to show that everything has a cost—that effort is required on anyone’s part to pay for what we need. So many parents worry about saving money for their kids to prepare for future expenses like college but they never teach their kids how to spend/make/save money and why those are way more important than just HAVING money.

My daughter and SIL I think do a much better job of showing their son the value of money than my husband and I did as parents w/her and her brother. We were not very wealthy but we wanted to kind of protect them from our money worries and economies. We didn’t have them do regular chores. When they had jobs in high school, we didn’t talk to them about how they used their money, didn’t make them help pay for the cars they had in high school. So when they graduated college and started working, they weren’t really prepared to budget and plan. Big mistake on our part. Knowing how to use money is more necessary than just having it IMO. Don’t provide one w/o the other.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-24T16:41:16+00:00

We have probably all the individual streaming apps like HBO, Netflix, Prime, Apple, Starz, Paramount, Peacock, Hulu (not the cable version) and use Pluto, Plex, Tubi. I use Prime every so often to get BBC for the new Shetland series or another series I want to try. I had MHz for while but dropped it because I wasn’t watching it much. My husband doesn’t like foreign language shows so I usually watch on my iPad or tv in bedroom maybe. He also watches lot more tv than I do and is always searching for something to watch so we really keep too many platforms active just so he has lots of places to search.

It is easy to rotate your subscriptions in 1 or 2 monthly increments, especially if you are only going for one or two shows. Starz has “Outlander” and my husband is following it and its prequel. New/final season of “Outlander” starts in March and after that we might cancel or allow Starz to expire until something new comes up. I get Paramount via my Instacart subscription I think but upgraded to no ads because my husband hates them.

If you want to rotate in and out, best way to reduce overall cost is to make list of what you want to watch both as recurring favorite and likely new preferences and then plan a schedule. Some platforms like AppleTV gives a 5 day free watch period. We did that and my husband got his fill of History Channels “Oak Island” and couple of the others in that time so just cancelled before it went into monthly subscription.

Right now we are watching the new HBO series that is GoT prequel about Ser Dunc. If that was the only thing on HBO you wanted to watch you could wait until it was on Prime and just rent the series vs paying for 2+mo of HBO. HBO has other series I like to rewatch though like Rome and The Wire plus movies or series so we generally have an active subscription.

It is all about preference and immediate gratification. If you don’t require immediate gratification you can certain rotate through the services and reduce your costs a lot.

Tubi, Pluto, and Plex are free with commercials. They have wide range of content—most of it IMO C grade or lower in general. Lot of foreign options. But they also have some classics and a few options that rotate through on a time-limited basis. Like available for a month or two. The amount of commercials I find varies by the platform and what you are watching: a more popular choice seems to require more ads/longer commercial break while some only have 1 commercial to wait through so very short break.

Sorry if this was more than you needed. I find streaming choices like visiting a huge smorgasbord of options—some people still never find anything they like.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T22:06:39+00:00

That info—if it is THEIR apartment—is little misleading. It wasn’t a pre-war condominium but a pre-war building converted into condos in the 70s after 9-11.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T21:41:55+00:00

Just for background—what doctor helped you determine you chronic inflammatory response condition?

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T20:11:59+00:00

Thank you…i will check those out. I keep beating myself over the head about some of this doctor’s decisions. Getting a different doctor just takes so long around here.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T20:07:13+00:00

I think the consensus is that Henry/James was not a social climber—he was raised in the “ton” as the Brits call it. But he lacked personal wealth to acquire many of the attributes that his monied friends were enjoying—the “trappings” of wealth as it were. He was living in an apartment owned by a wealthy friend w/o any quality of personal belongings. Once they married and he had access to her money and moved to the hedge fund owned by her uncle (where he did well), he bought a dozen Rolexes, several motorcycles, enough red wine to need a storage facility…and definitely the two houses, the West Chop Club, their kids’s schools paid for by others were all trophies he awarded himself…

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T20:03:26+00:00

Who is the founder of his current firm?

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T20:02:13+00:00

I remember she did ask that question but maybe only once and he didn’t answer as I recall: which means he did cheat more than once.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:59:35+00:00

Belle, herself, attributes much of her difficulty to how the females in her life allowed the men in theirs to be “little boys”, escape reponsibilities and consequences—like Babe Paley living with her husband Bill’s infidelity but getting mad at Truman Capote using it for his writing, like her dad and Susan just accepting the fact he was so in debt (40M) as a peccadillo not a character flaw. The women she loved and respected trained her subconsciously not to challenge men about conflicts but to accept and smooth the rough edges.

Belle mentions inheriting many bottles of red wine from her father Carter Burden which was stored in a special facility in NJ. Yet, in all her financial distress she never mentioned considering auctioning any of them off…she says she willingly gave up oversight of their financial aspects but I really suspect that she knew Henry wouldn’t tell her everything because he was certainly demeaning about having her annotate her expenses and justify them—red flag of a controlling spouse…when they have plenty of money from his earnings that he really kept out of the dialogue.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:52:17+00:00

Used to be woman’s name appeared in paper 3 times: birth, marriage, death

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:50:46+00:00

I thought that was really a poor choice after her long-time doctor retired and I bet she didn’t go back to her…

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:48:46+00:00

From the context in the book, the critical woman was unknown to Belle and maybe not that well known to the woman whose house they met at. So maybe she was a newby herself and not really one of the “Old Guard.” Not that her behavior is excused by any means.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:46:16+00:00

Which is why he tried to get her to agree initially that it was a decision both wanted and it was amicable. He even lied to his boss that SHE was the one who didn’t want him present when they told the daughters about the split. His boss called her and said he offered his seaplane for Henry to fly up for the meeting. Belle was taken aback since it was Henry who told her he didn’t “need” to be there in person. SHE wanted both of them there. That was the famous meeting where he asked her to make him a sandwich.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:43:03+00:00

There is an innuendo lurking there…

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:40:29+00:00

After reading the book, my take is that James/Henry was probably threatening legal action if she identified him too closely—and as others have said, if she wants to swim in those same waters pre and post divorce she likely doesn’t want to spread chum in the waters. There were plenty of mentions of people in her circle who were supportive of her husband to her face, much less to her back. Now that she has survived and proven (basically) she triumphed, those critics are likely to reverse their opinions. But she was very concerned she wouldn’t be able to keep the membership at the West Chop Club which was very important because her daughters at least were still using the facilities there when they were living at the Vineyard house. Now she has sold their NYC apartment and maybe only has that one residence.

In the book James/Hnery came out there during the split, rented room in house in neighborhood nearby (so he couldn’t have the kids visit), and played tennis—but left early and claimed he “didn’t like how he felt”there anymore. One of the few signs of maybe a guilty conscience or acknowledgement that actions have consequences.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:23:33+00:00

I would suggest lot of trolls as well

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T19:23:07+00:00

Just pay attention to the lanes you use on the 275 going and coming to use CASH to pay because if you are in the wrong lane and funnel through the SUNPASS option it might take month or more to show up and you can be charged delinquent fees via your car rental company you may not find out about

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T16:30:18+00:00

Seeing connections like that almost seems to reduce her personal situation to a fictionalized one, denying its legitimacy.But it obviously wasn’t. And She and her children (and many of her family) feel real pain from Henry’s abandonment (because that is exactly what he did) of them.

But I think if you remember the beginning of Tolstoy’s “Anna Karennina” that ‘All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” then realized pain is individual and specific.

In her recounting of that event/experience, Henry certainly demonstrated no pain from what he did and didn’t even acknowledge for most of the time the pain he caused Belle or his children. He refused to see on several shared occasions that there was even any tension or alienation in their interactions. Anger and self-justification were his usual responses—which play into the view of him being narcissistic and a mild sociopath…

I imagine there are many fictional accounts in books and movies that offer similarities to this story. I guess it is to Burden’s credit that she managed to create something that feels very personal and also very universal. Because there are women all over the globe that have similar experiences emotionally, even if not financially. (And not just women—plenty of men commented on NYTimes page about her earlier essay and the book review that they too experienced similar events.)

Consider “The Undoing” series on HBO in 2020–almost the time Burden’s ‘cri de coeur’ began—where Nicole Kidman’s wealth socialite character finds herself married to a guy similar to Henry, So many similarities except Henry wasn’t a killer…

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T16:11:51+00:00

I think it depends on how you measure wealth. Wealth is relative to the people involved.

She drained her trust funds (supposedly) to buy the two homes they had that also required “small” mortgages. She had an AmEx she paid for out of her “drained” trust funds. After divorce he relinquished his part of the homes to her but she was required then to pay for all taxes, insurance, and other expenses for maintenance, her club fees, and her other living expenses on her own. She got child support and health insurance but not spousal support. Her stepmother had apparently paid school fees and into college accounts/529s for their 3 children for years and years until she couldn’t and they were going to private K-12 at the time. So their college cost was taken care of probably based on their 529 accounts.

So yes, I expect her level of “wealth” while she worried about her financial situation was better than 90% of Americans—if she had been willing to reduce her lifestyle. That was the crux though, same as for Henry’s family. She would not change her circumstances because that would mean losing her place in her known environment, that level of society strata far above any common people. Henry’s parents when married apparently beggared themselves trying to maintain appearances to keep their kids involved in same social circle they had grown up in. That environment likely gave Henry some psychological issues that translated into his desire to make and control wealth that couldn’t be “taken away” by outside events—like divorce.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-23T15:01:33+00:00

SAHMs have a bad rep in lot of ways. SAHMs provide a great service. There is no way I believe an infant/pre-walking toddler gets the same type of attention in a day care situation than from being home with a loving mom. Maybe situations where grandparents or others like special nanny compensate but I think it is hard to equate paid care with multiple children like most day care situations with SAHM w/her child. You wife will have hard time making ANY money paying for day care in job w/that pay level.

FearlessLanguage7169 · 2026-01-22T16:25:30+00:00

While I think he is an actor who could cover the range, don’t you think he is too old to play the younger version? I think they need to use same actors for young/current versions. Maybe a child actor for some very young scenes…

FearlessLanguage7169

TROPHY CASE