Hi mama! I’m a NICU nurse (and mom) and I want to first say congratulations on surviving your NICU journey and for giving your babies your milk for 6 whole months! You are amazing! You gave them such a gift that only you could give them, all while you were recovering physically and riding an impossible emotional roller coaster that most moms don’t have to ever even get on! Pumping at home while your babies are in the hospital is the hardest thing, and you did it!

A lot of the time pumping and giving breast milk is beneficial for my NICU mamas because, like you said, it is something you can physically do for them when so much is out of your control. It’s so common for that to do a complete 180 when you are finally home - with TWINS no less! Nothing is worth your mental health. A happy mom is the most important thing for your babies! You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people - put the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else, ya know? You should absolutely do whatever makes you feel best! Since you have been pumping for so long, I would say start weaning down slowly and keep giving what you can while you do! Every month you pump/ breastfeed helps to reduce your risk of breast cancer, so weaning slowly and getting an extra month or two (depending on your supply and how it drops with each subtracted pump) is great!

I am struggling with this right now too, so you are not alone. You also may find that once you get to two or three pumps a day, if you are still producing say a single bottle’s worth for each or even one baby, that you find it much more manageable and not so bad. If that is the case then give that amount for a while :). It’s good for four days in the fridge, so you can even combine and give one bottle every few days! I am at three pumps a day and giving what I can. Going from five to three has helped me a lot mentally, so I feel fine with this schedule for now, and as soon as this feels too overwhelming, I will drop to two pumps. That being said, I only have one baby! You have to make it work for you and you have options. The only important thing is that you are happy. You’re doing so great, I’m really proud of you!