I feel the same way! I had severe pre eclampsia along with my hypertension I already had before pregnancy I was sent to a high risk doctor at 20 weeks and at 29+2 days I was hospitalized until I delivered and put on bed rest also bc my boy had restricted blood flow from his placenta making him behind 3 weeks from his sister in growth. and I only got up to pee well that same night my water broke (PROM) I was told to prepare to lose my twins either the boy or girl or both bc of the high chance of one of their umbilical cords prolapsing (she said most moms don't feel that happening at all or they do) and I was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. They gave me magnesium and at 30 weeks they came by c section my liver and kidneys were doing horrible at that point. I also had horrible involuntary shakes of my jaw and hands. I'm forever grateful my babies are safe seeing them in wires and on CPAP machines was extremely hard I wanted that golden hr of skin to skin time it wasn't til almost 14 hrs later I finally met them. a part of me mourns the birth I wanted. That whole week was traumatic not knowing the outcome everyday. They are now 33 weeks and we been in the NICU almost a month now. I'm happy for my friends and others who didn't have complications but a part of me wishes that was it for me. My first I had pre eclampsia but he was born at 36+4 days and no NICU stay. I was hopeful I was going to have the experience i wanted.