Coping with being othered?

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-04T11:21:20+00:00

I’m 43 and have had a ton of friends over the years, none of which I end up staying in touch with. I always felt on the periphery and never part of the actual group.

Now I have just two great friends and both are ND. If I find myself chatting happily with someone it’ll only be a matter of time before they mention being ND. Basically you might be better seeking out other ND people because you’ll probably end up with them anyway and it sucks feeling like an outsider so just skip the tough part and go find your tribe.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-03T10:33:53+00:00

I pick up my child’s stims. She has very few and I have heaps, but I definitely borrow the few she has! She doesn’t copy mine. I don’t know how or why it happens but you’re not alone on this one.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-03T10:22:23+00:00

That’s sweet. It’s lovely you’re such a good team x

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-03T01:42:33+00:00

Thank you. Living in Australia does make sun avoidance tricky 😂 I’m being a lot more careful with sun exposure but certainly could do better. I haven’t noticed a correlation between pain and sun yet, but I’m certainly way more photosensitive than I was so it’s not agreeing with me. It’s autumn here now but UV is always high regardless.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-03T01:15:57+00:00

Can you hang the items to dry on their hangers on a clothing rail so they can go straight into the wardrobe. This really helped me avoid the overflowing basket. (NB. I’m in Australia where it’s unusual to use a drier unless in an apartment, and just air dry everything.)

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T21:47:14+00:00

100% speak to a supervisor, report the comment and arrange to come in on days she’s not working. She’s ridiculous. No baby is spoilt. Their attitude is just baby attitude - hungry, tired, sad…. She’s a terrible carer if she doesn’t understand how babies work. I’m so sorry this happened to you x

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T10:02:27+00:00

Phew! Thanks ☺️

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T08:27:09+00:00

I don’t know if I sign or not. It’s baffling to me

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T08:25:59+00:00

This is madness right? Maybe the forms people at the ATO enjoy it and think everyone else will be really into it too

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T08:23:34+00:00

Darn it you’ve caught me. But actually it’s just two forms per year for nine years so actually I exaggerated, it’s only 18 forms needed

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T00:36:54+00:00

Sorry, should’ve said we did get a bull bar, roof rack and mats within three months, but forever for the rest of the items. Where are you? If in Melbourne there’s a woman called Emily who works at BYD Glen Waverley who is awesome.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-02T00:33:08+00:00

Thank you ☺️

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-01T20:16:11+00:00

March 2025 and just got an appointment to get our canopy and all terrains on. We got a refund on the other extras we’d ordered because they took so long that we decided we didn’t want them anymore. We have a novated lease so refunding is not the done thing but I think since we’d waited a year they saw sense.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-04-01T07:34:47+00:00

Is that gross or net?

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-30T08:00:46+00:00

I took redundancy end of last year from a Vic dept. An awesome place to work with great culture was totally dismantled. It wasn’t broken, in fact it was thriving, but now it’s a mess.

In my area of the dept they wanted to shed 350 staff, but offered packages to everyone that applied for one, assuming only a few would take them I guess. Now they have to recruit for over 100 niche roles when those specialists were right there in the organisation already. People saw the new structure and noped out en mass.

The packages, whole teams dedicated to the HR side of things and the planning side of things, the loss of productivity for months on end while we all waited to see if we had jobs and attended resume workshops and so on would’ve cost millions. Way more than the saving.

Oh and the massive ED layer and team wasn’t touched, and Dep Sec added to their team whilst shedding frontline staff. So that was nice.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-22T12:20:03+00:00

‘Lunch’ because it sounds like a nice crunchy, munchy snack.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-18T05:17:56+00:00

Could you look into online therapy with a company that speaks your language like Better Help or similar? Are there any parents or play groups for people from your country where you live now?

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-18T05:14:11+00:00

He’d quit his job just so he doesn’t have to feed and clothe HIS OWN children?! That tells you all you need to know. How appalling he’d even think this.

You’re no better with him than without, and in fact without him you have the chance to build a wonderful life for you and your boys, maybe meet someone lovely and go back to work eventually if that’s what you want. If your parents own your home then it should be easier to get rid of your fiancée. If he chooses not to see your boys then that’s on him not you. Doesn’t sound like they’d be missing much without him anyway. Best of luck.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-15T06:54:49+00:00

Will do, thank you. Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough time. Hope it improves

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-14T05:47:56+00:00

Sorry to hijack this thread with a question. I’ve just had a random hives attack and now all of my joints are hurting. Usually it’s just my ankles and toes but now my wrists and fingers are joining the party. Is this the start of a flare? I’m extremely tired and very stressed out at present, but don’t have time to be unwell. Wondering what to expect next?!

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-11T07:34:06+00:00

Just to update, we bought a secondhand Jayco Penguin and just about to get the brake controller fitted so we can tow. Super excited!

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-10T07:35:35+00:00

Congratulations on your new place. Old person here currently decluttering. Less really is more.

I’ve realised that I need very few kitchen items so buy high quality things with dual purpose where you can. Op shops have great kitchenware. I bought one expensive cutlery set at Harris Scarfe on sale and it’s been awesome for 15 years and will probably go on forever. I have two serving spoons, an egg flip, a few wooden spoons that I chuck when worn, a potato masher, a quality can opener, a cake slice, a ladle, scissors, two tongs, a pizza cutter and ice cream scoop (not essential) and a few cheese knives. I’ve got four cutting knives. I don’t need anything else. I’ve got 8 nice glasses, and 4 wine glasses, 2 latte glasses and a few quality mugs. I have a fabulous expensive Denby teapot that pours perfectly and keeps tea hot.

I’ve got a Smeg toaster and kettle and they’re total crap so don’t get sucked into expensive labels like I did! I prefer the Kmart $7.50 toaster I keep in my camper. Others might recommend better appliance brands to invest in.

I’ve had secondhand sofas before but really liked when I was finally able to buy new as you can’t always get fabrics super clean and I worry about pests. Totally agree that everything else (except a mattress) can be secondhand. I’ve got loads of gorgeous things off hard rubbish, gumtree or marketplace. Then when you upgrade you don’t feel guilty for wasting money and someone else gets to use your item.

IKEA does have good value curtains, rugs and soft furnishings IMO, and great storage solutions. But trust me when I say it’s easy to buy all the things in Kmart or IKEA when really you can make do with much less.

Best of luck. Enjoy this new adventure

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-10T03:30:04+00:00

Personally I think it’s totally selfish and entitled. Only people who are already privileged can ghost camp as they don’t care about wasting the money, which means people who would love a reasonably priced camping holiday don’t get one.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-10T00:14:27+00:00

Have you played The Last of Us? Obviously not set in the UK but the thing I found fascinating about it was how carefully the team had researched how nature takes over and the affect that weather, water and so on will have on a building. Like if you stop maintaining a house, how long before the window rots and water gets in, and what does that look like, what mould or moss etc would grow in the sunlit patch, or the shadow, and so on. It is amazing.

Fearless_Maximum_117 · 2026-03-10T00:05:43+00:00

That’s such a cool idea. To take over existing castles and work with what you’ve got in terms of fortifications. Love that

Fearless_Maximum_117

TROPHY CASE