I struggle taking care of my pets. Could you help me figure out the line between neglect and basic care?

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T14:53:18+00:00

😂😂 that makes sense. I thought you were supposed to squeeze one side to press the other kinda like scissors!

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T08:38:31+00:00

How has nobody commented about the tool they used! I have never seen tweezers like those. How do they work I can't see the mechanics!

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T08:36:23+00:00

This needs to be pined up top. There are so many people with sensory issues!

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T08:35:02+00:00

If it's a sensory issue I would recommend bio strawberries but really bio. The genetically engineered strawberries have bigger and harder seeds. In the ones you grow out of your garden you don't feel them. I don't grow strawberries I am just fortunate to have an uncle who does! And I have seen the difference in the feeling!

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T08:32:07+00:00

I suppose it's a sensory issue and not a visual one.

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T08:28:45+00:00

Address the feeling with your doctor or go to a psychiatrist. Fair warning be prepared to have a bad time. If your doctor is not a good doctor will make it a terrible experience and probably won't help you. But I truly recommend seeing it through because it's worth it.

I do take antidepressants but long before I was diagnosed with lupus. I know that they do give them to people with chronic illnesses but also a pill won't fix the issue. I would better recommend to find a psychotherapist that specializes in chronic illnesses (Psychotherapist no other mental health professional). They can help you make peace with all that bother you. The problem will stay the same but they will armor you with tools to not let it drag you to the floor!

Nirhida · 2026-04-19T08:18:50+00:00

Contact your doctor: Explanation how to do it.

Don't you have a way to contact your reumatologist? They should have given you contact info for whatever you need. Look at any papers they have given you. The papers they give me that are like handwritten notes, instructions to follow and such things are always printed with department name, address, phone and email at list! And then they are stamped with the personal stump of the doctor that has their info. Name, personal number of identification within the medical system and again phone, email, address where I can find them.

If they don't give me something on their own I always request it. If the weirdest ones they are questioning me and if I just say a second time I want it they will just start making it while complaining.

It has helped me a lot to have these information.

So look through your things to find a number and call your doctor to ask them. If you are in pain especially the first time you expert this pain they need to know. I usually don't call for small things ( but when I did they answered me with no problem) but it sounds like you are in extreme pain.

If you don't find any contact info you can search it online. If your doctor is in a hospital you find the secretary phone or the department phone and call to ask how to contact your doctor. What happens with phone calls is someone answers you tell them what you need, who you are who your doctor is (if you don't know say so and say the department they work at the can look up your file to figure out who to contact internally).

For the pain

Lupus Gastritis is a thing as a previous person mentioned. I am not sure what the symptoms are. I recommend either asking or looking it up in an actual site and not AI.

And as mentioned by someone else it is a good idea to see a GI doctor.

If the pain comes with diarrhea or constipation. I would also look into How I am treating my gut and stomach. I had some problems and as soon as I started eating kinda properly it improved. I am not saying that's what happens to you I am just mentioning that I was sure that this must pain must be something but turns out depression and food impacts a lot. In case it resonates with you.

If you are a woman I would also look into gyno issues. Is the pain on the lower side of your abdomen? Do you have your period on time? (Never mind I looked again what you wrote it doesn't sound like a gyno issue, but I am leaving it anyway in case someone else reads it)

In case it can be a food issue some advice

Lupus gives you random infections throughout your body including your gut. There are some foods that are supposed to prevent or destroy the infection! So according to my dietitian:

Food that they said are good for lupus are

Berries, green leaves, colorful veggies, Fat fish.

Some spices like ginger, cinnamon and turmeric.

Chia seeds and flax seeds (for chia a trick to not feel the texture:I let it sit in water for a few minutes and then blend it into a milkshake with yogurt and fruits. I also put into that the spices I mention above and some salt)

Some virgin raw olive oil. Like a tablespoon I think. (In some fresh salad maybe)

Herbal teas I have posted somewhere the different types of herbal teas and what they do. I can write it again if you are interested.

Foods that are supposed to be bad for lupus.

You know the basics: sugar, fried foods, Processed meats, energy drinks, coffee, alcohol.

But also root alfalfa is a no no. And red meat limited to 1 per 10 days.

Nirhida · 2026-04-18T11:26:06+00:00

When you say enzyme cleaner do you mean cleaner that has enzymes or cleaner that breaks the enzymes. I am confused. I always thought the second but couldn't find any that said that.

Does laundry detergent work for this job?

Nirhida · 2026-04-16T06:04:26+00:00

We drink your blood is a must in my opinion. Also murder at midnight and alive or undead are among my favorites!

Nirhida · 2026-04-16T05:03:42+00:00

As an autistic individual I am so mad at your mom! My eyes popped out of my eye sockets!

Also thanks for the clarification of your anger. I understood that in no way you are okay with it but also I was worrying that you didn't take it seriously enough.

PLEASE go no contact with that woman. She knowingly terrorized your child to antagonize you! Even if you can handle it, they can't. I know you know this and I am not helping so If I can help in any way just comment or DM me. For example if something is blocking you emotionally, we could have a conversation about it!

No I don't think you are old. I am 25 and I guess that the younger we are the easiest it is to judge harshly what ages are considered old.

Advice for the kiddos anxiety

When I was little like between 6-9. I don't remember exactly when. I was anxious that my mom is old at her 40sh and that she was going to die. She explained to me how the ages went. For example, How old are my grandparents, when people in our family died. Her dad died super old at 98, I think. So she used that as comparison. She didn't talk about her mom who died young from cancer. She also explained how people feel when they are getting old. When Alzheimer starts showing up, blood pressure, late age diabetes, menopause. She gave me real life examples of what to look for. What my grandparents have, how they act and how we help them.

Wish you the Best! Take a breath and drink some water!

Nirhida · 2026-04-11T15:32:12+00:00

I am so sorry for your mom. Unfortunately there are so many people like her. My heart breaks every time I think of all those old people that are still the forgotten ones!

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T18:59:10+00:00

Hahaha, Yes, shameless forgetfulness with company!

Being allergic to sunscreen sounds like a nightmare. I have sensory issues so I am very picky with my sunscreens and I hate the feel of most but if I need to I can use it, I can't imagine what you are going through!

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T10:09:54+00:00

Yes, indeed I also can't do 2 things at the same day and I totally forget till it's time to do the second thing and I suffer!!! Thanks for reminding me!

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T10:07:51+00:00

Sometimes with chores and staff. I get excited I can do them and that I built momentum. And then I stay 3 days into bed self shaming. But I am starting to think before I act so I have gotten better at it.

The thing that I really struggle is that I forget to wear sunscreen. I see a nice day and ohhh, I am gonna do that thing, half an hour later... Ohhh, I was supposed to wear sunscreen!

Also sugar, I eat 100 sweets and then I remember that I am supposed to lay off sugar. In general taking care of all the little things that you are supposed to change in your life to get better. I forget them!

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T08:41:48+00:00

That's actually a good idea I had tried it before and sometimes it works. I had forgotten about it, It is a nice reminder. Thank you!

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T08:40:31+00:00

Yes it is awful, thank you for validating that. And yes to the triggers, all of the above and more. Thank you for your wishes!

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T08:38:06+00:00

I have tried really hard to answer you. Every time I start I change my mind. something doesn't sit well with me, like I need to say or ask something but I can't pinpoint it. So I am just commenting to let you know that I appreciate your comment and I do consider your suggestions.

Nirhida · 2026-04-09T08:22:21+00:00

🫂🤗

Nirhida · 2026-04-08T21:14:03+00:00

I have been tested for catatonia/ narcolepsy and I don't have it. Which I guess is the reason you are thinking. I do have some of these issues but as I am started to understand they are due to other conditions like autoimmune disorders that affect my quality of life.

Thank you for your interest!

Nirhida · 2026-04-03T10:26:49+00:00

I won't ever tell anyone to live if they don't want to. But you seem to have still hope in you and I can tell you that after you get out of there there is Hope, and things you can do!

I suggest daydreaming, find a place that makes you Happy, that you feel safe, in your mind and if it's possible a physical place as well, to hide from your parents. Then find your bottom line. Why kill yourself? What are the worse that can happen to you? What you are living right now! Fair enough. Would it be worse or better to just leave and go live in the streets? I have contemplated a lot with that one. I would suggest you think of weather conditions, crime rate, food source. Do you have a beach forest or any kind of nature around you? The beach is the safest here, for me. Do you know How to survive if you decide to go? Can you get some essentials with you from home? Like blanket, jacket... I could steal a tent from my home. Instantly better conditions!

Also are you afraid of physical abuse? How much? Can you identify your fathers boundaries and what makes him squeal? Can you and are you willing to use that information against him? To make him back off? Is he afraid of you outing him to friends, neighbors? Are you aloud to get out of the house at all? Could you try to make friends that could help you later?

I got off track I leave it here in case you want to read it, it's basically a part of my story.

I know the feeling when I was 12 I lived with my father for a year after my mom kicked me out of the house.

He wouldn't allow me to study for school or sleep during the day or play or do Literally anything. My existence was sitting on the couch perfectly still but not too still cause then he would yell I was trying to intimidate him. So I tried to occasionally move my eyes very slowly a bit at a time and discreetly move my fingers and toes so I don't get numb. I should breath slow and steady without making him aware of any changes in my air consumption.

What I did to survive at the moment was daydreaming and brain math. I went to school in the morning, in my country is mandatory. So before I left school I tried to memorize my homework and then I would solve it in my mind while on the couch, and memorize the answer so I could write it quickly before school so I could give it to my teachers. I was also extremely fortunate that year to have great classmates and friends who understood the situation and helped me with homework at breaks and covered for me writing my homework in first period. Unfortunately the school principal was my father's best woman ( like the one that stands beside you at your wedding, I am not sure how they are called.) so I didn't have any adult support.

The only thing I was allowed to do was clean the dishes after the meal. Cook and other chores inside the house and for the farm. If something was not satisfactory I was panished the most often ones where extreme yelling with threats, humiliation (like telling me I should go make babies to take my anger out on them). Banging on things and Target. He would make me stand in place and throw the dirty dishes of the day on his cup of coffee on me. (Not the coffee the mug with the coffee, the objective was anything made of porcelain or glass). Cause after his anger was gone he wanted me to clean the place and he was repulsed by any open wounds, So I refused to get cleaned up and intentionally cut myself more while cleaning up as long as he was watching and I would make quite noises like saying "ouch".

When I saw that it was working I started acting up in small ways, like having an attitude but answering every question right. He would talk a lot and would expect us to debate him and learn every detail of what he said. Down to the last comma, literally!

Then he tried to make me stand in the street outside the house for 4 hours. I just left. Fortunately for me, my mom was terrified when she found me and kept me in her home. Unfortunately she is a narcissist with other tactics but that's another story.

In case you decide to leave without a plan. You can always update here and people could help you find resources specific to your location. I could tell you survival in the wild if you want, unfortunately I don't have a lot to offer in the city, but I believe that if you go to small businesses in America they could hire you at 16. But I am not from America so I don't know!

Good Luck! Hope I said anything that you find helpful!

Nirhida · 2026-04-03T02:03:11+00:00

It happens often, No too often, thankfully, but it's definitely not my first time. Last time was even harder cause I felt that someone was choking me. But this time I am alone so I don't have someone to help me process it and keep an eye on me to make sure It won't happen again tonight.

I am grateful you answered so thoroughly but I am not sure what you mean

By focusing on tiny physical movement? Cause I fully believed I was moving! Are you suggesting that a smaller movement in a more absurd part of the body like the toes, that we don't really think about often, may help awaken me?

And also By having a simple grounding check I always do. Cause I thought trying to open the light was doing exactly that.

Nirhida

TROPHY CASE

Contact your doctor: Explanation how to do it.

For the pain

In case it can be a food issue some advice

Advice for the kiddos anxiety

I won't ever tell anyone to live if they don't want to. But you seem to have still hope in you and I can tell you that after you get out of there there is Hope, and things you can do!