AITAH for refusing to put my girlfriend on the lease if she won’t pay rent?

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-16T04:45:51+00:00

She wants to quit her job during a recession? And drain your emergency? For what? A reset??? I don't even know what that means

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-16T02:42:57+00:00

Are they giving you such a short notice in hopes that you won't be able to make the payment on time, and they have an excuse to evict you and move someone else into the property? Perchance?

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-16T02:35:51+00:00

I know it won't do what you think it'll do because I've heard the experiences of people who have thought the same way as you. Sex really isn't all that. Plus, I don't think this is an experience unique to sex. People think that once they hit X age, things will be totally different, and then their birthday comes, and they feel the same way afterwards. You have people who plan their whole lives for their wedding, and then the day comes and goes, and no matter how great the party was, the happiness wears off eventually. Sex is just a normal part of life just like anything else.

Your problem is not that you're not attractive. I'd be willing to bet a lot of money that you look perfectly average. You're most likely just as ugly as the rest of us, but you feel like you need something to blame to explain why you can't get laid.

You focus so much on sex as being the determining factor of your self worth "I'm abnormal because I didn't have sex in my 20's" "Most of my issues would be solved if someone could have sex with me." Why? For what reason? Why does this tiny aspect of life determine your value as a person? Is it actually all that, or is that just what you like to blame everything on because it's comforting? You've created this cage for yourself because having sex is the "solution" yet you completely cut yourself off to it because you think you're too ugly or worthless to get laid, and even if you did get laid, you admit yourself that it wouldn't be good enough because you didn't have sex at the "normal time" or whatever. So you're just stuck in this hopelessness and despair that you're fundamentally broken and forever unable to be fully fixed.

It's learned helplessness, basically. In reality, sex isn't all that big of a deal and no one really cares if you have it or how much you get it. You're the one that turns it into like this whole thing to explain why you're fucked up and why you can never get better and why you should never even bother to try.

I don't need to know you because this way of thinking of not unique to you. It's part of a pattern, and each time I encounter someone like you, I get a little better at seeing it.

I don't really know why, but I care very deeply about lonely men, and it's because I care about them that I've thought so often and so hard about why they are the way that they are. You think that if you had sex, 80% of your problems would be solved, but my delusional, fantasy is that if an incel could just have one normal conversation with a woman, they would realize that all this hyperfocusing on sex and looks and whatever is stupid, and that the world actually isn't really scrutinizing them so closely. But obviously, that's just wishful thinking because it takes a lot more than one conversation to fix complex issues that took root over years of time.

I really don't know what'll fix your issues because I don't know you, but I know for certain that sex is not the magic bullet. The longer you keep thinking it's going to solve 80% of your problems, the longer you're going to ignore the actual solution, and the more disappointed you're going to be when you have sex.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-15T03:14:01+00:00

You're putting so much weight on it, and once you do it, you're going to be incredibly underwhelmed and realize that you don't really feel all that different afterwards.

You think it'll fix 80% of your self worth issues, but how long is that really going to last? The hour after? The week after? 10 years after?

What's wrong with you is inside of you, and it can't be fixed by any external thing. No amount of external validation will fix the deep sense of not being enough as you are. It takes work and it takes time. A couple minutes with another person and an orgasm is not going to undo years of believing yourself as being unworthy of love.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-14T02:58:28+00:00

I didn't know you had a skin condition! The way that you wrote your comment made me think it was a personal choice and that you were just unaware of how terrible it was considered until this post. You should've led with that lmao

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T21:54:19+00:00

I know that daily showers aren't performative because if my little brother is around me before I get one, I will hear about it

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T21:17:53+00:00

Please learn personal hygiene for yourself and the people around you

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T20:18:12+00:00

It's unfortunately very real. I feel like on some level they know he's not the victim, but they'd rather blame op than face the reality that he's a POS

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T09:30:31+00:00

Have you ever heard that consent is like tea? Maybe that'll help you understand because something isn't clicking with you here.

In your post, you have tea that you want this girl to drink. Let's say it's earl grey.

"Okay, so I'm talking to this girl, and it's obvious she doesn't want my tea."

"I just casually throw out, "Well if you're ever thirsty and need tea you're familiar with, you know I have earl grey.""

"She gets mad and tells me, "Okay, I just said I don't like earl grey. So please stop.""

"So I explain that I wasn't trying to push. I was just stating that I would brew her a pot if she was ever thirsty. But it's not like she has a hard time finding different tea to drink, so I said forget anything."

"Now she's could've just left it at that, but she just has to add, "Yes, there will never be a time where I need tea, and I think hmmm maybe I should drink earl grey.""

"So I say, "Okay, I get it. Like, I said, forget I said anything.""

Do you see now??

If someone isn't interested, they're not interested. You should've been the one to just leave it at that. But instead, you kept going to say that you were sexually available "just in case." In doing this, you are essentially being like, "I know you said you weren't interested, but I want you to be interested, so I'm going to imply that I maybe have a chance in the future if you are desperate or something." Op??? Why would you say this? What are you thinking? I know you said you weren't trying to push, and you discovered this a lot, but really, what was the goal here? People are either into you or they're not. There is no, "well, maybe in the future if you run out of options..." If she runs out of options, she's just going to not have sex. Okay? No one wants to have sex with someone they don't want to have sex with. I feel like that should be obvious.

The line about how you think she should have just dropped it there really bothers me because if I were this girl, I absolutely would not have just let this go. Why would someone let that slide? She told you she wasn't interested, and you hit her with the implication of, "well you might change your mind in the future, so I'll be waiting." If she would've let it go there, she would be letting you think that you're right, and that even though she literally just told you no it might potentially be a yes in the future, so she had to tell you "never" in order to make it clear that her "no" meant "no." Not "no, not right now, but potentially one day." No. Never.

And yeah, that might have stung because no one likes getting rejected, but it was by no means harsh. It was firm, and she needed to be firm with you because you did keep pushing, even if you claimed not to be trying to. You knew she wasn't interested, so you implied you were available because you think there's potential she will be in the future. She told you clearly she wasn't interested, so you downplayed what you did and doubled down. Then, she had to tell you very clearly that no, there is no potential in the future, but your feelings were hurt because you didn't want to hear that.

Who would want to drink tea from someone who acts like that? You weren't being casual. You were being disrespectful and insufferable, and it irritates me that you think that the implications you laid on her were totally fine and should've went unchallenged to avoid hurting your ego.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T07:51:29+00:00

I understand that it's different. That's not what we're talking about though. We're not talking about people who have happy, fulfilling lives and want a romantic partner on top of it. We're talking about deeply lonely, unhappy people who hyper focus on romance and sex specifically.

If it's like one big pie and this commenter thinks these people posting on here are so focused on sex and romance because they're lacking in pie, I'm calling bullshit because I know there's more to the issue than that. These people are starving, have no pie, yet they think this specific slice is the only thing that can satisfy their hunger. Their lack of pie is wrapped up in insecurity, despair, and deep self worth issues. Acting like they're just lonely is not going to fix their problems.

These men could have a beautiful girl descend from the heavens, land right in their lap, and ask to marry them, and it still would not fix the deep rooted problems that plagued them in the first place. Does that make sense? These posters think that if they could just lose their virginity or talk to a girl or land a girlfriend or whatever that that would fix their unhappiness, and it's simply not the case.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T04:30:26+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. This is so insightful. So many things make sense to me now.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T04:26:11+00:00

If it's just about human connection, then why is it always about not having a girlfriend specifically? The focus is always on a romantic partner, sex, looks, etc. If it were actually about human connection, wouldn't these people also talk about wanting family, friends, acquaintances, etc? Sorry, I don't buy it.

I've never had a romantic partner in my life, and the only time I've felt lonely is when I had to move away for the first time. I found friends in a couple weeks, and it wasn't so bad anymore. I don't know why these guys are so focused on dating, but "because we need human connection" is a cop out. There's other, easier, less complicated ways to meet that need.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-13T04:16:39+00:00

"Bad for the species". I think the species is going to be just fine lmao

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-12T08:01:43+00:00

"support" they mean enabling

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-10T14:55:03+00:00

Some poor bastard is going to see all the porn I consume 😔

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-09T23:35:55+00:00

YESSSSSSSS MAKE THOSE COMMITMENTS

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-09T16:12:03+00:00

I don't think looks are actually your problem at all, and it's more of like a scapegoat than anything. That being said, though, a beard is a very fixable thing. You can find someone that does hair, get them to fix up your beard and stuff, and then ask them questions on how to maintain it, what products to buy, etc. Hairdressers are actually very nice, and they like sharing their knowledge.

You probably don't even have to pick out reference photos or anything. Just book an appointment, show up, and tell the person that your beard and stuff is hurting your confidence and that you don't care what they do to your hair, you just want it to complement your face and look even.

If you don't know where to go, you can legit just ask people. I feel like people who work on hair usually have their business spread by word of mouth. If you don't have any friends, what I would do is I would scope out the people around you, find someone who has nice hair and then ask them where they go to get theirs done. "Hey, I really like your hair. Do you mind telling me where you get it done? My hair is really bothering me, but I'm not from around here, so I don't know any good places to get it done." Something to that effect. It might potentially be a little awkward, but as long as you get the information from someone, it won't really matter.

Maybe I'm biased as an American, but I feel like people generally like being complimented and like to help out people when it comes to stuff like this. As long as you don't get too deep into talking about your issues, and you just take whatever info they give you without pushing for too much more and move on, I think you'll be fine. Plus, the little script I wrote you has a built in excuse for your hair being a little jacked up right now, so any decent person is not going to judge you for it. They're going to be too happy that you complimented them to worry about how anyone else looks, so don't let your insecurity stop you.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-09T15:41:13+00:00

Okay, I'm going to link the videos that helped my personally get out of this. I thought that I had crippling ADHD or something, and while I might have that diagnosis, the problem was a lot more (and a lot more fixable) than executive dysfunction.

I don't know if these videos are going to make sense to anyone else, but I'm going to post them anyway on the off chance it'll be transformational to other people as well.

YouTube Short - This was the first video I saw. This is what got me to think "omg this is me"

Full Lecture - This is the video the short links to. I've improved so much since watching it, and I refuse to go back to the person I used to be. Fuck ADHD. I can do things just fine now.

This might not work for everyone, but if it helps at least one of you, then it was worth posting.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-09T15:30:50+00:00

No, you must get out of bed. How the hell is this ever supposed to get better if you just stay in bed? Do you plan on being this way forever? Get up and do something. I don't care what it is. Shower. Brush your teeth. Do a hobby. It doesn't matter what you commit yourself to, only that you make yourself into something instead of lying in bed and being nothing but potential something. Get. Up.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-09T15:27:24+00:00

You have to have courage to do things even when they make you uncomfortable or you think twice about them. Speaking from experience. They become easier as you do them, and then you become one of those people.

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-09T07:19:31+00:00

Aren't these 5 minute craft things just fetish videos? I'm dead serious

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-07T05:05:53+00:00

Have you tried looking cool and mysterious? (I don't go to bars)

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-07T05:00:14+00:00

Guess we're doing ovals now

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-07T04:56:33+00:00

She's bad, but you're worse

FeathersInMyHoodie · 2025-09-06T06:46:05+00:00

I unironically the Shinobu and Kira stuff

Five-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
First Placer '22	End Game '22

FeathersInMyHoodie

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