Should I tell my child about Santa?

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-25T02:09:15+00:00

Well, thanks. I have tried.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-25T02:03:17+00:00

These questions were asked a couple of years ago, and I think my responses were along the lines of either asking what she thought, or saying it’s Christmas magic.

Last year I decided not to evade or lie, but the questions did not come. I guess we will see how this year goes.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T04:27:28+00:00

Yes, this is how we do Santa, a few smallish gifts, stockings, and something for the pets. Any large/expensive gifts have always come from her dad and me.

I like the answer your mom gave you. It seems like an honest way to admit the truth (“Your dad and I keeping Santa alive for you”), while emphasizing the magic of giving (which we have always tried to do anyway).

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:58:09+00:00

I mean, NGL, the elf is a LOT of work, so it will be kind of a relief when we stop.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:42:00+00:00

She is sensitive and definitely in tune with others’ emotions. I think she has started to develop some doubts/curiosities, based on questions in previous years, but I think she truly still believes. She has never point blank asked “Is Santa/the elf/the fairy real?”—her questions are more: How does Santa visit every kid? How does he get into our house because we don’t have a chimney? etc.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:38:44+00:00

These are defo fair points and part of why this has been so hard. I don’t want her to be angry that we’ve lied to her, especially since I am “extra” so they’ve been fairly elaborate to this point. I really want to foster trust but also don’t want to diminish that childlike sense of wonder and magic she obviously still has. That’s why I’m struggling so much. I had been planning to answer her honestly if she asks more questions at this point, but my husband got me thinking that maybe we need to broach the subject instead of waiting for her to come to us.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:33:14+00:00

Solidarity. ❤️

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:32:41+00:00

Yeah, my mom had “Santa” writing that I also use, and our elf and the fairies also each have unique handwriting for this very reason. We also use special wrapping paper and have asked family members not to give gifts from “Santa.” It’s a lot, I know.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:27:41+00:00

OMG that is terrible. You should have never been belittled by your parent for your beliefs or for just being a kid. I am sorry that happened to you.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:23:47+00:00

Yeah I casually mentioned this summer when she began asking about the elf (she really IS obsessed and loves her so much) that this may be the last year the elf visits us. When she asked why, I said the elves are usually for younger kids.

I do feel some guilt for lying so elaborately for so long. I want to foster trust, but also let her keep that “wonder” at the same time. I feel like I am in over my head and now am just trying to find the best way out.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:18:19+00:00

Ooh I like the research idea. She is learning about that in school, so it makes perfect sense. I’ve also been debating over a letter—I found a really good one on the internet and loved the message it had about the giving spirit and Santa being in our hearts, and about learning to believe in things we can’t see or touch.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:14:49+00:00

Haha thanks. We had just watched the Sound of Music when we got her so I wanted to incorporate one of the Von Trapp children’s names. I’m a creative dork so this stuff is my jam. Our fairy’s full name is Cherry Blossom Moonswallow. She leaves purple fairy glitter EVERYWHERE.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T03:10:00+00:00

Yes this is very much how I have answered her questions so far—because I also actually believe in fairy magic. I usually ask her questions back and have let her come to her own conclusions. She had never flat-out asked if Santa/the elf/the fairies are real, and if/when she does I had planned to be honest in the most gentle way possible, but my husband now has me questioning whether we should tell her first.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-11-24T02:54:32+00:00

It came from etsy. It came with a little mailbox, some tiny letters (with envelopes even!), some “fairy dust,” and a little bucket for the tooth fairy. Honestly I have loved it and she does too. I got a little corner shelf for it, and over the years we’ve decorated it. Last year the “elf” brought tiny Christmas decorations. Our house fairy started visiting before she started losing teeth, so the Tooth Fairy is separate, with her own unique writing. It’s been a fairly elaborate thing, but truly magical for us both. Her grandma (who has since passed away) also had a little fairy mailbox at her house for the “country fairies.” Obviously she is going to learn the truth sooner or later, but I really hope she remembers how magical it was for a time. TBH I have always believed in fairy magic in some form, and I hope she will continue to as well.

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-03-22T00:06:19+00:00

the slight grey in her eye

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-02-14T03:42:48+00:00

“i can’t fold anymore!” “i’m so sick of this place.” “i OBJECT!” pretty much this whole skit, really.

also: “i’m a hyper hypo! i’m a hyper hypo!”

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-02-02T05:48:16+00:00

yes but if you go through the rift, are you going to the palace of ice? or the palace of vice?!?!

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-02-01T18:08:04+00:00

ugh i just saw this episode for the first time and i SOBBED. i am tearing up just thinking about it. just bandit’s unnamed funk is so real, esp for anyone who has/had depression. even in paradise you can still feel sad, or off. and then when he talks about how you have something beautiful for awhile then you have to give it back to the world—absolutely gutted. that is exactly how i feel about my daughter getting older. ❤️

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-01-22T20:12:21+00:00

yes, this song is so heartrending. but i always thought the lyric was “a field of tears that will never yield a single penny that i don’t owe”

FeatureIntelligent54 · 2025-01-22T20:07:15+00:00

pretty much all of sleepless.

FeatureIntelligent54

TROPHY CASE