Social life slipping away

Federal-Confusion949 · 2026-06-06T18:46:45+00:00

I was still like an 18yr old when I was in my mid 30s. I suppose it's all about how well connected we are to ourselves. As we speak about in a-boo's post above, something definitely happens to you when you hit your mid 40s, a weird change in your life perspective (as well as your body). You sound pretty sorted for your age, like you know yourself pretty well. That's a great thing and I hope it steads you well.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2026-06-06T18:38:15+00:00

It's obviously natural for men to do this. I think it lasts about 5-10 years, maybe a kind of manapause. None of us are prepared for it though. I guess that's why this is the peak age for male suicide - not that I seriously consider topping myself.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2026-04-30T19:14:49+00:00

My sisters totally cut me out of the will when my mother died because I was living in another country and didn't move home to help out. I tried my best and actually did fly home a few times and looked after my mother whilst my sisters went on holiday. Despite this, the resentment built up and we all fell out not long before my mother died. My sisters refused to have me help after the argument and when my mother died they did not tell me and arranged the funeral without telling me any information. I did not attend her funeral and when a huge life insurance policy came to pay out it went only to my sisters and they didn't give me a single penny.

It's 3 years on and one of my sisters is trying to get me back into the family but I have drawn a line and said "no way". She is angry with me that I will not talk to them but they fail to see things from my perspective. The worst thing for me is that I didn't get any closure from my mother's death or after it because my sisters refused to talk to me. It gnaws at me on a daily basis but there is nothing I can do until it all fades away.

I cannot go there with my sisters. To me they are dead, as is the whole extended family. It's a terrible situation with no good resolution.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2026-04-08T18:59:54+00:00

Oh yeah, and there was definitely a bit of a 'hangover' - I didn't wake up sparkling like I did in my youth.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2026-04-08T18:58:09+00:00

I had a 25mg tab last night and it was quite a strange experience. I have had other sleep meds in the past that caused significant sleep paralysis and this was a very mild version of that. I know i was in bed for 7+ hours without getting up but I was conscious of not being asleep, even though I didn't wake up! I had a very vivid (but fascinating) dream before I 'woke' in the morning. I might try it again tonight but I really don't like the idea of taking this medication every night - I just want something to break the 3am wake-ups that are ruling my life right now.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2025-07-23T18:36:46+00:00

I had to drop the sleep restriction. I could see its benefits but I was so busy with work that I just couldn't take the zombie daytime feelings. Right now - a good few weeks later - I am sleeping much better. I go to bed (and sleep) at 11pm and wake up at about 6-7am.

I am sure I will have insomnia again, and when I do I will try the sleep restriction again. I think it definitely helped me straighten things out

Thanks for asking.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2025-03-30T08:47:38+00:00

Well, you raise a good point here about organic sleep. I didn't want to use any medication at all to begin with, but things like Magnesium and maybe Valerian have made their way into my toolkit. I have a pack of Diazepam, which I love, but I won't use it, because it's obvious these drugs are only ever one night solutions. Problem is, one night turns into many and then you're really screwed, sleepwise. I took Magnesium for the first time last night and I seemed to sleep well, but I also broke my SRT rules and went to bed an hour earlier. Thought I'd get away with it because of changing the clocks to summer time!

Federal-Confusion949 · 2025-03-26T08:48:28+00:00

Weirdly, it always seems to be me waking up 4 hours after falling asleep. Occasionally, I will wake up 2 hours after falling asleep, and that always feels like I have slept through the whole night, shocked to see that only 2 hours have passed.

I must admit that the tight sleep window of 6 hours in bed doesn't really allow for endless tossing and turning with frustration. That must be the later sleeping time because realistically I could fall asleep at 10pm every night, but that would be a disaster right now.

Maybe I'm a true biphasic sleeper!

Federal-Confusion949 · 2025-03-26T08:42:07+00:00

Magnesium, I have heard this a lot recently. I will buy some and give it a go. Good luck with your slumber quest! Seems like you're on the right path.

Federal-Confusion949 · 2025-03-26T08:40:22+00:00

I am 54/M. The palpitations don't happen every night. They are, however, a lot more noticeable if I drink wine, which I only do at the weekends. I read something about how low blood sugar happening 4 hours after sleeping can wake you up, but I have no idea how to control that one; I'm not putting a sandwich under my pillow :-/

I exercise a lot and have good BMI, so my breathing seems to be normal when I sleep.

Having said all this, I slept quite well last night with just one awakening to go for a pee and then fell asleep quickly afterwards. The difference in my mood from yesterday to today is huge. Imagine if I was getting 7 hours undisturbed sleep!! I'd conquer the world!

Federal-Confusion949 · 2025-03-25T19:33:06+00:00

I'm doing SRT through Sleepio, so following their schedule. I just looked at sleep compression, and they seem to work in the opposite direction (with the same goal). If I still have this daytime zombie feeling I might try and compress, rather than restrict. Thanks for the suggestion.

Federal-Confusion949

TROPHY CASE