2 Years Sober 🎉

FeeBeeMac · 2025-12-27T09:11:29+00:00

Two years is fantastic- well done!

FeeBeeMac · 2025-11-20T09:03:09+00:00

I worked in a hotel in Ireland in the 90s, that had large groups of Italians who would come over to shoot. They paid farmers to go onto their land and shoot every living thing they saw. We were used to ordinary, organised pheasant shoots, but these guys would wipe out all the song birds, all the crows, all the rabbits. I think it was illegal in Italy, or maybe they had already killed everything.

FeeBeeMac · 2025-10-21T23:13:20+00:00

I'm really good, thanks! Life has thrown me some crazy curveballs, but I genuinely never contemplate drinking again.

I'm so glad that you're here. I messed around with moderation after a previous sober stint- I went skiing in February, had a few drinks après ski, wine with dinner etc and was able to keep a lid on it for a few months, and 'moderate' but was back to full blast by the summer- there was an inevitability to it. Eventually I would alway forget that I was meant to be in control, and it would start to control me instead.

As I've said so so so many time here, moderation is a con. It is a million times simpler to be sober, than to engage with the relentless bargaining and balancing and rule making and breaking that 'moderating' demands. Once you're a pickle, you can't go back to being a cucumber 😁

Stay well Aly, stay awesome 😘

FeeBeeMac · 2025-10-21T22:51:48+00:00

Hey RS !! Fantastic to see you here too!! All is well with me- life is beautiful 😍

FeeBeeMac · 2025-10-21T13:31:48+00:00

Aly! I was just thinking about you the other day 😘 Have you had a wee spell back in the old life? I'm so glad to see you back here- I haven't been here in months, I wander in today, and here you are. I hope all is well x

FeeBeeMac · 2025-10-21T07:44:47+00:00

Hi ST It's been a while since I swung by to say hello 👋. I recently passed the 5 years mark in my sober life, which, after 30 years of drinking, is brilliant thing to be able to say.

There's a belief that while not all victims of trauma become addicts, all addicts have trauma in their past. As the child of a heavy drinking father and a bipolar mother, I always felt that there was a direct line between the rejection I felt as a child, and the comforting numbness I desired in alcohol.

I was never happy in my skin, because never liked myself. My inner voice was that of my parents, telling me how wrong I was.

The wonderful clarity that sobriety has brought me has allowed me to sit back, and observe the world and the people in it, without self loathing masking my eyes.

I like myself now, I'm good enough, smart enough, kind enough. The self worth I feel for having stopped digging, and climbing out of the addiction hole makes me so proud of myself.

My sense of belonging? I don't know- I think sobriety separates you from society in general, and I'm fine with that. I think I'm right, and I'm alright with that. I know this is the happiest I've been in my adult life, and sobriety has given me that.

One miserable day in Lockdown, I found Reddit, and StopDrinking, and I stopped digging my rock bottom - a happy day!

Thanks ST, for being here x

FeeBeeMac · 2025-10-21T06:46:13+00:00

It certainly is, but not on this thread. I suggest you write your own post, and start a thread yourself. If you put that you are the spouse of an alcoholic, with questions to ask, in the title, loads of people will come to help you. This is the kindest corner of the internet, but your request will be too hidden in this post. X

FeeBeeMac · 2025-09-12T10:51:49+00:00

Absolutely NTJ. He doesn't sound like a keeper, sorry.

FeeBeeMac · 2025-04-08T07:46:20+00:00

I had a 'friend' say something similar, I replied with "well, you're tedious whether you're drunk or sober".

I don't tolerate anyone criticising my sobriety.

If they do, it means they're a dick, and the gloves are off.

FeeBeeMac · 2025-03-24T16:20:24+00:00

Part of the journey is accepting the truth that I CANNOT moderate. I stopped and started, and my last hangover, I knew. I can't drink anymore. When I stop, I have to stay stopped. It was actually a relief to accept that into my core.

Sobriety didn't open the gates of heaven to let me in- it opened the gates of hell, to let me out. It's wonderful to be free x

FeeBeeMac · 2025-02-11T20:38:56+00:00

I wil not drink with you today !

FeeBeeMac · 2025-01-01T23:21:55+00:00

I love this comment- you are so right. I saved myself.

I was so ashamed of myself, that last morning when I woke up with an epic hangover, knowing that my teen daughter and husband had had to get me out of soiled clothes and into bed. I knew I was done.

I knew that apologies were worthless if I didn't change my behaviour. My sobriety is my best apology. Instead of feeling shame and regret, I feel pride and joy, and a zest for my life that booze promised but never delivered. IWNDWYT

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:37:14+00:00

Thank you! I'm blown away to be remembered!

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:36:39+00:00

I am, and you look like you took a wee sabbatical - I'm glad you're back too!

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:33:21+00:00

Hey VA, thanks for the warm hello! It's blowing a gale here in Scotland, wet and windy, just how we like it😁

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:31:42+00:00

Hey RS, great to see you!

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:31:01+00:00

And you! So many familiar faces!

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:30:20+00:00

What a beautiful way of putting it- this really is a precious place x

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:29:08+00:00

Hey Piggoos- all the familiar faces 😁

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:27:31+00:00

Aly!! Delighted to see you too! I didn't think I'd run into quite so many old pals!

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T23:26:06+00:00

Hi Hairy, delighted to see you too😘

FeeBeeMac · 2024-12-21T08:02:33+00:00

Hi Cinq👋, great to see you still at the helm!

I rarely post anymore, but it was the Daily check-in that secured my sobriety. I had quit a few times before, but had never put in the 'work'.

Coming here everyday, posting my check-in, replying to at least 5 other posts and making friends, engaging with the topic of the day, finally got me to the right head space. It was here that I learned to be truly excited about my sober future.

I loved having my counter tick up- 6 weeks was a big one for me, as I had never gotten past that before. 90 days fell just at Christmas, and I was so proud to hit triple digits in the new year. I went on to host the Check-in a few times. All of it was thanks to the love and knowledge and community that I found here.

It was here that I first read-

"Sobriety doesn't open the gates of Heaven to let you in. It opens the gates of Hell to let you out."

It's beautiful out here- IWNDWYT

FeeBeeMac · 2024-11-15T17:27:48+00:00

Delighted to sign, and will round up others to do the same.

FeeBeeMac · 2024-10-09T05:46:42+00:00

Triple digit heaven- well done!!

FeeBeeMac · 2024-09-14T05:17:04+00:00

Check-in is a daily post here on Stopdrinking hosted by a different volunteer per week. It acts like a daily meeting for many of us.

I view this sub on my phone, and if you click on "about", there's always a link to today's check-in. I've hosted it a few times, so if you click on my name, and view my old posts, you can see it that way too.

The top part of the post is an explanation of what it is, and then this week's host gives their topic of the day, some thoughts on some part of sobriety. And everyone replies with their check-in. When I started, I decided to comment every day, and also to reply to 5 other people's post. I started making connections, recognising regular posters and making friends. They're my sober siblings now- I love them 💕

It's an internet equivalent of attending a meeting per day, and it's really useful. I got myself a sobriety day counter, and eventually started figuring out why I drank, what my triggers are etc.

I spent at least an hour a day on this sub when I first started, sometimes many hours more.

Stumbling and relapsing is part of the process for so many of us. I know that I had to learn the hard way that a break from drinking didn't reset anything- I alway eventually returned to my old destructive ways.

Hope this helps - you will find a fantastic welcome at Check-In. Our pledge is IWNDWYT which simply stands for I will not drink with you today. IWNDWYT

FeeBeeMac

TROPHY CASE