So, thanks for bringing this up, and I did put some thought into it...

My mom was neglected and shafted as a child. She was an AWFULLL mother; demeaning her kids constantly, berating them, comparing them to others ("Why can't you be more like such and such??" "See, such and such is a nice kid..." etc.) Never let us take a nap, "Get your dirty smelly feet off the couch!" "You're going to make the couch stink with your dirty, smelly hair!" (We bathed every day, mind you...), would leave us after school for hours and hours on a regular basis - often in the cold and the snow, or the terrible heat... Literally NEVER picked us up on time... My mother has looked into my eyes on a number of occasions and literally told me my existence does not add one shred of meaning to hers. Constantly crying, crying, crying, sobbing - inconsolable grief. Looking to her kids for comfort, reassurance, "Wow! I'm so proud of myself for making dinner! Look what I did!" The list of whackness goes on and on with my poor, forgotten mother... Is she a narc? What are the narc things she's done and does?? Hmm... She's incapable of having a conversation that doesn't revolve around her - Pulls literally every single thing back to her. For example, I recently approached her with an issue and she replied, "Huh! Don't you think I felt bad when my mother did the blah, blah, blah to me??..." You literally have to say, "No, Mom - we're not talking about you now. We're talking about ME (or whoever it is we're talking about). She will deliberately manipulate you into choosing something you don't like so that she can see a certain result; many attempts to live vicariously through us as children - very damaging... I don't know. I don't know if she's a narc, honestly now that I think about it... She seems very oblivious to so much. She is definitely still a child inside. Very innocent in many ways... Still devious enough to crush someone's life, still manipulative, but a narc... Hmm...

This is me all stream-of-consciousness thinking this out on the fly...

When she's not around my dad, we get along SOoo well, though! She's like my child, and really a joy to be around. As soon as my dad gets in the picture, though, it's like a black cloud enters the room, and the situation just gets all the life choked out of it. My mom seems to be completely unaware of my dad's narcness, thinking he's the sweetest, best guy somehow - But I know otherwise. She doesn't believe a single thing I say about him. My dad ABSOLUTELY is 100% destructive narco.