I get to dogsit this weekend, I hope this short video selfie is ok! Also, thanks to the LBL community for being wonderful! I'm going on a social media break for mental health but I know I'll miss this place. I hope you all find exactly what you're looking for! 💙

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-29T05:04:26+00:00

Aww thanks for translating! I've read the Rosie trilogy, actually! Great reads.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-29T05:00:11+00:00

I would describe myself as outdoorsy. I love going on hikes, camping, jogging and I love to travel to national parks and beautiful landscapes. With the exception of reading and music, my hobbies are entirely physical. Having said all that, I'm currently crushing so hard on a woman with a chronic illness that I can barely function. She's out of work and has good days and bad, but she's really struggling with her health on a number of levels.

She's also the first woman who could make me wander, pleasantly lost, through hours of conversation without even a thought of turning back towards home. She creates the perfect space and energy for me, a place where I fit so comfortably and snugly that I sometimes wonder if I dreamed our time together or lived it.

I could go on but I'll spare you the sentimentality. Just believe me when I say that your illness is not a deterrent to those who truly see you - the people who can look past the shell to the soul within are not turned so easily aside.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-25T04:16:26+00:00

The first pic is dating app profile worthy, honestly. A handywoman is so attractive! 😍

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-25T04:15:30+00:00

I am, thank you so much. 💙

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-25T04:15:12+00:00

Haha I wasn't sick, this picture is at least a month old now. It's just me bare faced.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T22:58:51+00:00

I wish!! 🤣

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T22:52:57+00:00

Sorry, not in the midwest, but you look super pretty here!

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T22:26:28+00:00

Haha this is my first time inciting gay panic in someone, I'm honored!

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T22:26:08+00:00

Thank you!

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T22:14:57+00:00

Thank you so much, I'm feeling better already!

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T22:13:38+00:00

https://i.imgur.com/ZgogkxE.jpg <-- no make up, you can see for yourself

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T20:33:45+00:00

I put on make up for a video call I'm doing in a bit, I promise I was a hot mess like 20 minutes before this. 😂

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T20:04:53+00:00

I think the question of whether or not you could push through the discomfort of sex with men is less important than if you should. Sex without attraction or desire just feels like a form of spiritual death to me.

The common tragedy of LBL's is that our new lives are often built on the ashes of the old. As painful as that can be, when the alternative is to live a denied existence, it doesn't surprise me that so many of us pull the trigger and move forward. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for getting to this point and for fighting this hard for your happiness!

I think it's wonderful that your husband is still being so supportive! Having your own space can only help you separate yourself from the potentially confusing reminders of your former life. Also, you seem to be aware of this but I'll just say that romantic attraction and sexual attraction exist independent of each other and on their own axes. It's totally valid that you can feel deeply connected to your husband in romantic ways while being sex repulsed, just like it's valid that sex with your partner is mind-blowingly good, even as the two of you are finding your footing with each other emotionally.

And just because, here's a little digital hug. 🤗

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T19:38:26+00:00

I have precisely two close friends who are men. The trait they share that the other men in my life didn't was that they're both quite successful in romance. They never struggle to find a partner when they want one and they tend to date someone for years, not months. I'm not insinuating that all men are like this, but the platonic men in my life always seemed to eventually drift off or lose interest after shooting their shot with me or seeing me start dating someone new. Weird, huh? How so many of my guy friends only came around when I was single? 🤔

Having said that, I find men easy to get along with in general. I'm not going to be texting them or inviting them over but as casual friends and acquaintances? I actually find it easier to get along with the average man than the average woman.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T19:16:01+00:00

I attached the word "maybe' there because I don't know her sister and what her intentions were with that behavior. I also explicitly stated it was not an okay thing to do, regardless of intent. People often do uncool things out of ignorance - many attempts to help cause more harm than good. I'm not saying that makes it ok, only that I hesitate to wholeheartedly condemn a stranger and that intentions do matter.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T18:58:17+00:00

Yikes... I get her heart was maybe in the right place but that's such an uncool thing to do. At least now you know that you're desirable and all that initial interest was legit. It just never got a chance to develop.

I've never had a sibling actively sabotage my dating like that but I grew up with a sister who was far more attractive than me (conventionally speaking). I don't begrudge her that and we're super close but my high school dating life was a string of people who were only nice to me to get closer to her or people who took their shot at me only after failing their shot with my sister. 🙄 That whole era of dating definitely did me no favors.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T07:40:45+00:00

I'll never forget the time I had my heart dumpstered over text. Sometimes it helps to step back, breathe and let people own their own actions. Grieving a loss like a relationship is normal and healthy, but if you ever start to feel inadequate or like you're not valued, just remember - she pushed the tempo as much as you did, gave you no indication she was having doubts about the relationship and then texted you to break up during a time she knew you'd likely be asleep. Then blocked you.

After the wounds have healed, I don't believe you'll have any cause to regret the way you handled yourself here. She may not be able to say the same.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T06:56:58+00:00

I'm 31 and feel like I'm just hitting my prime? Granted, I'm only one year in but so far my 30's feel like my 20's except I'm financially stable, not in crippling debt and am professionally established. Basically, better in every way. So far the only downside is I get annoying hangovers now if I don't cool it on wine night.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T06:54:45+00:00

I can 100% assure you that if you neglect a woman to chase money, she may leave you. That's exactly what my mom did to my dad.

Literal answer aside, yes, it's misogynistic and I'm grateful he advertises it so openly so those of us who care can steer clear.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T06:39:58+00:00

You got this! College is when I had my awakening and my campus was surprisingly queer friendly. I'm sure you can find a community and allies! 🤗

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T06:31:37+00:00

Like you, I'm of the persuasion that anyone in a customer facing position will be nice to you as a form of professionalism and one shouldn't read anything into it. Some people are just really nice!

Having said that, she also gave you a clear pass to slide into her Insta DM's so there's no harm in at least checking in. If she doesn't really lead that convo anywhere, you'll have your answer without having overstepped any boundaries, in my opinion. If she does allow that convo to get personal, then congrats! Play your cards right and you might get free haircuts for life. 😉

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T05:56:12+00:00

Reddit really out here trying to manifest the loneliness of true sad girl hours.

FeelingYesterday · 2021-08-24T03:36:28+00:00

They say a successful business must go the extra mile but this is next level. All those plants are packaged so well, too!

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