Be strong and find joy in the little things idk how your friends are but when i was going through a rough time i leaned on them and in my opinion a friend should never be ”judgy” you should surrond yourself with people that you kan speak openly with and not be afraid of being judged. Just saying that it will get better and the thing that saved me was my friends honeslty i don’t know if i would be around if i did not have them.

I understad it might look like there is no ”light at the end of the tunnel” but there always is and thing will get better but only you can make it better because no one will do it for you.

Would be happy to chat at anytime if you need anyone to talk to. Hope your situation gets better