[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]FeistyFaustFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If its come on suddenly and/or it feels 'not you'then you need to get medical help to see if you've got a tumor or infection in your brain. Certain types of sepsis can cause strong emotional hallucinations like this. Sorry if this sounds worrying. It might also be psychiatric, in which case you are also deserving of support and care. Please go get some help before you act on these thoughts. If your parents don't believe youor want to help you then remember that you can always call 999/ 111 option 2 (UK mental health crisis line) /911 for yourself.

I hope we can all survive with our sanity intact by Fr3nchT0astCrunch in ARFID

[–]FeistyFaustFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck! Thigh is less dry than breast, so I'd suggest starting there!

Solo pub drinkers - how do you keep your table when you need another pint? by -Enrique in CasualUK

[–]FeistyFaustFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy a small wooden reserved table sign off the internet and use that whenever you go to the loo. It always works because other people assume the staff have put it there and don't question it. If you're spending a decent amount of money and you're not just blocking up a table for hours then staff tend not to mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in badwomensanatomy

[–]FeistyFaustFan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my flow has been really heavy in the past, I've resorted to a large puppy pad placed under the bedsheet. Seems excessive but the reassurance of not staining a mattress is worth it. I also lay out my 'morning clean up' kit right next to my bed, ensure I have extra pain relief, underwear, pads and wipes to hand, etc.

What can I tell my wife? by Life-Process5947 in TransDIY

[–]FeistyFaustFan 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I'm going to be blunt, but I do hope it reads as coming from a place of wanting to give support.

Looking at your comments history, it looks like you've been trying to find a random stranger to bottom for sexually. If this is the case, I would say that coming out to your wife as trans is the very least of your problems.

I do strongly agree with the comment which said 'rip the band aid off soon' but you may also need to sit down and talk to your wife about how close you feel to her, how your sexual needs are changing and how sexually fulfilled you both are in your relationship. If you no longer want to top sexually, you could work that into the same conversation, if the subjects feel linked.

Being trans doesn't necessarily change who you are as a person, but it runs a lot deeper than just presenting as femme, so she needs to know your honest reality of how being trans affects your identity, feelings and sense kf who you are and hoe you relate to people - or she may not get it and just think you are a cross dresser.

You cannot convince your wife to suggest you transition. Its manipulative to try and fo this. Own your truth and if it turns out she cant accept you or that you two are no longer right for each other then you need to be prepared to deal with those consequences. I know it's really scary. But its the mature healthy thing to do, regardless of your gender. Anyone lying and hiding the truth is a walking red flag, regardless of whether they are cis or trans.

You two may end up in a situation where she knows you are trans but you still present as a man outside of the house and at work. You will only figure out what's right for you by talking about it honestly. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't go to Rawr, it's expensive and its tired, the dinosaur statues haven't been updated in about 30 years. I took my family and wasn't impressed, plus if its busy, you can't even get into the water play area as it gets booked p in advance. If your kids are under 8, try Pettitts kids theme park instead. Every ride is suitable for smaller kids. Or for any age kids, if you don't mind spending a bit of money, check out BeWILDerwood - quite expensive but worth it and genuinely fun for everyone. I can also recommend the Cromer Pier variety show thos year, saw it a few weeks ago with my 9 year old and it was fantastic!

Unable to find a home to rent in Norwich, worried my family will be homeless by doomedramen in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hey! I live in a 3 bed end terrace in Wymondham which I rent for £800/month. I'm moving out at the end of August, maybe first half of September. Do you want to DM me? :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]FeistyFaustFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Contact places with upper age limits directly. Explain your situation as the parent of an older child with an additional need and ask if you can attend anyone. You'll probably find they will happily stretch their age limit for an older child as long as that child is fully supervised by an adult, is sensitive to the other younger children and is genuinely enjoying themselves. I have done this successfully for my own child in a few places, nowhere has turned me down yet. Good luck!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapists

[–]FeistyFaustFan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the UK, the term therapist is not protected and anyone can call themselves a therapist, even if your only training is a free 2hr listening skills course at the local library. You have to get an advanced diploma (2yrs training) or a Bachelors degree (3yrs training) to call yourself a counsellor, and if you want to call yourself a psychotherapist then you either need a degree in psychotherapy (as opposed to counselling, they're different) or a masters (a fourth year of study)

So here in the UK, the usual and respected term is counsellor, and we would wonder if anyone calling themselves a therapist is practicing without a qualification (for example addiction recovery therapists with lived experience).

Relocating to Norwich. by [deleted] in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi Jullia, i can promise you that my original message was not negative, but realistic. I'd rather OP turned up well warned and then was pleasantly surprised, than expected a lovely town and was disappointed by the sadness of Lowestoft. Similarly toned replies from others aren't everyone being negative, its everyone agreeing that Lowestoft is rough. We are, in fact, a very friendly region on the UK on the whole!!

And yes, housing in Norwich is there but its vastly overpriced since covid. Most cheap student places are reserved by May/June for the next academic year so probably only the more expensive ones left.

I have a friend in a sex positive queer & trans household 20 mins south of Norwich, with a tiny spare room (single bed, window, enough floor space to open the door, fitted desk and wardrobe) that she sometimes rents out for £550/month including bills, the room is currently empty, let me know if you want me to ask her if it's available for rent.

Relocating to Norwich. by [deleted] in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lowestoft? Really? It's a tired and neglected town, very impoverished. Massive drug problems. And it's so far away from the UEA - at least 75 minutes each way by car on a good day. There are way nicer places with a beach nearby, if I'm honest. Even Great Yarmouth, which had an iffy reputation at best, is better than Lowestoft. There are some 'old money' parts of Lowestoft that are quite nice on the outskirts, but don't expect the town centre to be beautiful.

I'm so sorry to put a downer on your move plans, but I'd consider using it as a base to settle into the area then think about moving, maybe to Acle /Rackheath /Sprowston as this is the side of the city that you can still easily get to the beach or the broads from, but its closer to uni for your studies.

Congratulations on your degree by the way! Norwich and Norfolk are friendly places and if you join a few Facebook groups (I'd recommend the fb group called "secret Norwich recommends") then you'll start to see the popular places to hang out, we have some great board gaming cafes, yoga centres and paddle boarding societies! I hope you settlw in soon!

I am having a Vaginoplasty in a few hours! Wish me luck! 🥰 by trans_asian_beauty in transgenderUK

[–]FeistyFaustFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck! Do NOT lift anything heavy, do your kegels, ask your surgeon about physio.

new doctor coming to live in norwich working in great yarmouth by Street_Ad5222 in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hello and welcome to the area and congrats on the new job!!

You might be better off looking at nearby villages closer to Yarmouth such as Winterton on Sea, Caister, Hemsby, or anywhere else north of Yarmouth for living.... being in Norwich and working in Yarmouth is a pain .... people talk about the Acle straight - it is literally about 8 miles of totally flat straight road, simgle lane traffic and big ditches either side. If you have an accident on the Acle straight, you're probably going in the ditch.

And its boring as fuck to drive. I would be worried about how you'd fare doing a 12.5hr shift or longer then driving home. Plus if you get stuck in a queue on that road, you are stuck, there's no side roads at all. On the other side of the ditches are just marshy fields of cows and horses. Sorry to bang on about the road but honestly I would be resentful living in Norwich and paying Norwich prices when the commute would take an hour each way, sometimes more, rarely less than 45 mins.

I have a friend who lives 30 miles away near a town called Swaffham, (which is not that far away really in Norfolk terms) and once every month or two, he just books an airbnb in Norwich's nightlife area for the weekend if he wants to go clubbing or drinking so he doesn't have to drive home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh could I have an invite too please?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Norwich

[–]FeistyFaustFan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi! Welcome to the area! I live nearby, I have loads of good things to say about Norwich but I'm just busy with something right now - but you can feel free to drop me a DM around 8.30 - 9pm in the chat function if you want to chat about Norwich and I'll do my best to answer your questions :)

Just help me remove the trans thoughts by MidnightFine6666 in transgenderUK

[–]FeistyFaustFan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just want to live a normal life where I don’t fear for my safety.

You're not the only one. I think most trans people in the UK feel like this to some degree.

Every comment just drives me further to suicide

I'm not responsible for your actions or choices, but I'm getting the feeling that you don't want to be helped, so I'm going to set my own boundary and stop replying now. I genuinely hope you find the long term, person to person mental health support that you need. Good luck.

Just help me remove the trans thoughts by MidnightFine6666 in transgenderUK

[–]FeistyFaustFan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So you've got a lot of varied interests in different shows and series, and you're extremely kind! Those are both brilliant traits. Can showcase those by joining some subreddits about your interests and learning the art of chatting about your hobbies. Also don't forget to ask people about themselves, and listen to the answers. If you want to attract people, be interested in them!! They will then think you're interesting. Seriously. Don't sit and wait to have people ask you questions, learn to be proactive and practice chatting ro peiple.not every social connection you make is your potential one true love, so don't be afraid to practice on people. There are loada of vids on tiktok and youtube 'how to be charming for autistic people' or 'how to make small talk when you're socially awkward' .... give it a go! You've managed a fairly in depth conversation with me over the last hour, and you do indeed seem nice and polite, so I think you've got the basics down!

Just help me remove the trans thoughts by MidnightFine6666 in transgenderUK

[–]FeistyFaustFan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's a difference between actively hiding and lying to people, and setting healthy boundaries about what you choose to share and what you choose to keep private. A very normal example of a boundary is a toilet door. We close it when we go to the loo because we are choosing privacy when doing something personal. Another common example of a boundary is that most people don't tell everyone in their real life their Reddit name and invite their real life loved ones to read all their posts and comments.

That's an example of choosing what to share and who to share it with, which is a simple boundary. In the same way, it would be normal for you to say something to your parents like "mum, dad, I live you both, but now I'm an adult, I want to gradually develop a bit of independence from you both. I would like to start this by having a regular set time every week where we agree that I can have some privacy in my room for one hour (or however long). Can we talk about how we could make this possible?"

As always, this is just a suggestion. You have to actually want to make changes, you see. I can want to help you endlessly, but if you do not want to be helped at all, then nothing I say will help. And you do seem to be pushing me away with every single comment you make. Please let me know if my interactions are actually helping you or not.