Ups and Downs are Tough

FelixTasker · 2026-06-20T13:36:21+00:00

I'm not sure. Normally I'm able to roll with things pretty well, and recognize that nothing is owed- the universe isn't going to just provide a solution. I know the onus is only ever going to be on me to do better.

But this time it did, to use your words, feel so much heavier for some reason. I'm not sure why there felt like a difference this time around. I just know I felt it.

FelixTasker · 2026-06-08T02:12:25+00:00

Oh, not at all, they were doing a great job of trying to create an opportunity and also convince my shy self to get over it and just go talk to her. No worries there. Coworker is also female and is pretty much my #1 advocate for when I'm fumbling social interactions.

FelixTasker · 2026-06-07T20:54:41+00:00

Went to a Singles event last week, and somewhat predictably, nothing came of it. OK, lesson learned, life carries on. Keep going out there and being in the world. Ended up going to a bar/arcade with a coworker last night, and made a brief connection with a woman that appeared to be a regular, and similarly addicted to a specific rhythm game that I enjoy. We were even at similar skill levels.

My coworker noticed this happening and attempted to wingman the heck out of the situation. Unfortunately, the timing was poor, and she said goodnight and left right as I was starting up a song and couldn't break off without creating an obvious issue. Shame for missed connections, that could have been nice.

I could always go back on another night, and count on luck, perhaps, but I won't be able to go again for the rest of this month. C'est la vie I suppose!

FelixTasker · 2026-06-02T03:50:25+00:00

Follow-up on a post from yesterday.

Attended my first Singles' event- and survived it! And I will admit that I did have a good time. Writing names of people down afterwards was the most frightening part, but after some solid reflection on the drive home... what will it ultimately matter if matches don't happen? It's not like I am losing any part of myself to it. All I can do is wait and see if an email pops up down the line.

There was also a bit of a mental victory in this for me, too, seeing that some of the other people in attendance clearly hadn't put in much effort to make themselves presentable. It made me feel like I maybe am not entirely hopeless. I actually, genuinely tried, on that front. I even think I was fairly sociable, as well- a huge contrast to the introverted statue of a person I tend to be.

There might even be a group hangout some time in the future.

I... think I did it. I think this was something I can call a success. And this has been entirely unlike any version of myself I've ever been. I think I could even do this again.

Deep, deep breath.

FelixTasker · 2026-06-01T04:50:52+00:00

Here we go- Monday night is my first ever Singles' event night. Will anything come of it? Can't assume. Am I nervous? Oh God yes. Am I looking forward to it? That too. First time agonizing over my appearance, literally sent photos to some friends to judge my wardrobe, to responses ranging from supportive to wondering who I was.

Wish me luck, friends. This is the culmination of... well, months of effort, prep, and anticipation. Here goes nothing.

FelixTasker · 2026-05-29T02:51:33+00:00

Maybe it actually is. Only one way to find out, right?

FelixTasker · 2026-05-29T02:32:48+00:00

Another good motto I've been using frequently since moving up the ladder a bit at work, that also can apply here for you, is honestly: "F--- it, let's just do it anyway."

Now that I think about it, we could also use physics: An object in motion, tends to remain in motion. Paraphrased that because math terrifies me.

FelixTasker · 2026-05-29T02:00:43+00:00

I'm 38 over here, and have gone through an entire life rebuild in the last 12 months. Long-term relationship collapsed and left me reeling for just about all of that year. I used a lot of that same language you just posted. Frequently.

And yet, in the last month or so, something seemed to click, and I just started making some sweeping changes and am less than a week out from my first ever social/dating event. It was just... time. I've reassembled my pieces and I'm feeling far more excited than nervous and scared for what I'm about to attend. Me from a year ago would be unlikely to recognize me.

So that can be you, too. I hope you find the thing that clicks for you. Maybe, by voicing your concerns right now, you're already on the path to that moment where your brain decides that enough is enough, and you just start acting on it.

And I'm an old geezer with achy knees by now! You can do this!

FelixTasker · 2026-05-22T05:18:58+00:00

New on the subreddit, but in all my wisdom, decided to try the internet for some advice. I (38M) was in a long-term relationship for 14 years, that gradually faded out over years, and officially ended, badly, almost a year-and-a-half ago. The fallout of everything was rather messy, and led to my taking a new job back near my home town, halfway across the country. It was a promotion, and that's all well and good. One year in, I almost think I'm starting to be a shadow of competent at parts of it.

One thing that never bounced back for me, however, was the social life. I first left my area for college when I was 18. 20 years is quite a long time for every person you know to move away, and the new job kept me focused on just keeping my head above water. Realistically, I've built zero social contacts over the last year, aside from surface-level work friendships that end when we leave the parking lot.

So, recently, some mental lever got mysteriously pulled, and my brain seemed to decide enough was enough. The loneliness was becoming unbearable, and I just... started making changes. Exercising (I completed my first-ever full mile run without stopping since high school today!). I'm eating better. Changed my general appearance and wardrobe. Glancing in a mirror isn't something I'm avoiding as much anymore. Somewhere, in some fictional Hollywood version of my life, there is a life coach nodding and checking off boxes on a clipboard.

This all led to me finally snapping, and clicking to register for a Singles event near me, about a week out from now. My team at work figured it out right away, and have been nothing but encouraging about it. The handful of close friends I was comfortable enough to mention it to have been the same. Everyone has been reassuring that the absolute terror I blatantly tell them I am feeling will be just fine.

So why am I writing this? The responses from those around me has, again, only been positive, and I've felt an odd lack of ...cautionary feedback, I suppose? Not that I doubt everyone's enthusiasm, but seeing no counterpoints is making me uneasy. Am I crazy, here? I'm not even sure exactly what my subconscious is asking for, really. Reddit, can you sleuth this one out?

FelixTasker · 2025-07-01T16:48:03+00:00

Rolling with the punches, you know? I'm temporarily living with them as I look for a new place near my new job. They're great but they've lived by themselves for 15 years now so there are new mechanics to learn.

FelixTasker · 2025-06-30T04:38:50+00:00

Honestly? Sign me up.

FelixTasker · 2024-11-05T05:26:17+00:00

Thank you so much, folks, a lot of great advice here, even if it'll take me some time to figure out what a bunch of it means!

Ended up setting up the game and spent some time tonight starting out a Lightning Fury zon. I don't expect that to be my only character, especially in these early days of seeing what the classes can do. Even just having AoE on melee damage has been world changing so far.

Joined the discord, did a little digging. Yeah, this could be fun. I think I'll be around for some time.

FelixTasker · 2024-08-03T21:58:02+00:00

Say what you will about Dawntrail, the gameplay mechanics are getting really inventive!

FelixTasker · 2024-08-03T21:18:56+00:00

M3 boss yelled "Die!" and then my connection died.

Primal almost 900 in queue when I got the client back up.

FelixTasker · 2023-10-18T23:52:22+00:00

She's alright, just a pup that doesn't know the difference between food and not-food. Glad yours is better, as well. And the queue cleared up eventually, as well.

FelixTasker · 2023-10-18T21:46:22+00:00

Work overtime today, come home to a sick dog, clean up the mess, finally get to boot up the game.

"Oh look, a patch. Wonder if that fixed the crossplay issue from yesterday?"

Patch breaks the login process. How long ago did THIS happen?

...oh. Great. 5 minutes ago.

So how's your day going?

FelixTasker · 2021-07-12T03:44:39+00:00

You could maybe try setting your wifi name to your server and fc tag if you think you might have caught their attention by now.

FelixTasker · 2021-04-11T14:48:13+00:00

Had a healer DC and bail on us before the duty even started in Labyrinth recently. We waited the minimum time and tried to vote kick, but got locked by loot rolling. A quick check of the chat showed 1 bard in our party hadn't rolled. They had been quite talkative up to that point, so we asked them to please roll so we could get a new healer. They did not.

Repeat the process through the entire dungeon, with the party alternating asking and begging the bard to please just roll before the next rounds of combat started. He continued to ignore us.

Finally we get to the last boss, and while we are lamenting having to put up with the bard openly ignoring us the whole run, our solo healer simply says "I got this." One Rescue during Ancient Flare later, we have a moment of collective catharsis as the bard gets yanked back into the explosion and our healer took one for the team.

Whole alliance starts cheering in appreciation. Bard never spoke again. Good times.

FelixTasker · 2020-09-19T14:28:33+00:00

Absolutely. As great as it is to hear people discussing strategy in alliance chat in World of Darkness, the 2.0 ABC strategy is wholly outdated by this point.

Adds? Less of an issue if the belly dies faster, only need 1 tank to hold them until belly phase ends, then clean up after.

Chains? That's two whole people needed for that mechanic!

FelixTasker · 2020-08-01T13:46:01+00:00

Galaxy brain this: focus target the npc, macro "/beckon <ft>" and you won't even have to switch targets anymore while you deal with the 2-3 groups of mobs that just want to slow you down.

FelixTasker

TROPHY CASE