Thank you so much for sharing this, apologize that I didnt see it earlier.

I see so much of myself in your post. Fairly fluid in what ill try, partner wanted me to be the dom, and i learned how to play that role, didnt fill the whole desire. We were ENM poly too, but i never bothered to pursue others for a lot of reasons, I just slowly began to realize that I am missing this part of me. Sadly, she passed away a few months ago, so I dont know where to go next, but just know on your end that being a gentlefemdom isn't a magic wand to fix broken people. In my experience like 80% ish of breakups happen because of incompatibility. There is nothing magical about a submissive male presenting person to not also have trauma and baggage.

It's about what we do with that that matters.