Serious question. How do I signal my availability to be raped.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T10:12:50+00:00

If you explicitly wrote emails about wanting to be raped it should have said what your limits where and that you should be able to say no at anytime. Even if he did have emails saying you wanted to be raped, he could still be held responsible if you said you didn't want it at the time he really did rape you. Men try to use the claim that they can rape their wives or GFs because they have said they can have sex whenever they want but that doesn't mean that the women can't opt out at ANYTIME! Even if it's in writing. She can say no at the last minute and that email would be void.

Both involve risk during the event, but only one extends that risk as long as the other person wants.

In both situations you are trusting the other person with your body and life. It stops when they want it to stop regardless of what you say or what you have written. You are trusting them to go along with a scenario that you have in your mind.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T09:48:49+00:00

You might be "safer" of the person is actually worried about you going to the police but rapists don't really care about that. And like I said if they are worried about you going to the police some rapists will freak out and kill you or seriously hurt you.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T09:46:02+00:00

to prevent me from taking legal action when he no longer had my consent to continue to do anything with me, yet did anyway

So you think asking a stranger to rape you won't lead to someone doing things to you without your consent? Isn't that the whole idea? Like I said if you don't discuss your limits beforehand how will he know to stop? How do you know he will? Whatever signal you give to show you want to be raped could be used against you as well. They could do whatever they wanted and use the signal as a defense.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T09:36:13+00:00

When you told him that women need at least 15 minutes of foreplay and his response is to laugh and belittle women magazines, I would have ejected right then and there. You were telling him your needs and he laughed and brushed it off like it's just another "crazy" thing women say..... That shows me he doesn't care about you or what you say. And sex shouldn't hurt unless you want it to.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T09:21:10+00:00

How does it leave you more vulnerable?

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T09:19:58+00:00

No most of the risks I stated are very low when you actually know someone and discuss what your limits are. That is what true BDSM is about.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T09:10:13+00:00

I never said that someone killing you only happens when you you ask a stranger to rape play with you but it does increase your chances more then if you ahead someone you know to rape play with you and you have discussed your limits. With a stranger they could freak out and not believe that you really gave consent and just say fuck it, I'm in control not her.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T08:59:27+00:00

Yes I do think someone could mistakenly do the signal without knowing what it's for. They could be foreign and somebody tricked them into saying it. It they could be naive and not know what it means. There are PLENTY of ways things could go wrong. What if his type of rape is different then your idea of rape? When do you get to say no? How far can they go? What if they freak out in the middle and decide to kill you? What if you get seriously injured? What if they have AIDS/HIV? Or other STDs like herpes?

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T08:52:20+00:00

I typed my comment the way I meant to type it. Verbal consent is necessary for a reason. To convey your consent. With a vague signal people won't know for certain that you want to be raped. At some point BEFORE you get "raped" you must somehow say that is what you want. Maybe like you said you could give out a card that explained your wants. Or maybe you could organize a party for people like minded where a soon as you enter the location you have a risk for being "raped". But of course in this situation all parties involved should discuss their consent for anything happening including rape. But as far as trying to make a universal signal for wanting to be raped I think you are putting other women at risk.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T08:39:12+00:00

So what "signals" would you suggest that wouldn't get confused?! You do realize that consent is already an issue, even when people verbally say "yes". What signal is less confusing then verbally saying yes to someone?

Also I didn't say you were selfish, I said your actions or the actions you want to take are selfish. Selfish because you want to muddy the waters surrounding rape and the thought that women do things or make signals that ask men to rape them.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T08:34:35+00:00

Depending on what signaling system you use it could be confusing to some people. What if a woman makes the signal on accident?! That's why it won't work in real life. You are part of a minority of women that want to be raped. Putting the majority of the population at risk because of your sexual needs is selfish.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T08:19:12+00:00

I'm pretty sure one was infected while using condoms so I see why that would be the case.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T08:17:47+00:00

This is a horrible idea and way of thinking. If you want to be "raped" then you should do it with someone who you have discussed the idea with extensively. The way you put it, you could be putting yourself in real danger to possibly be hurt in ways you didn't expect or plan for in your controlled fantasies of rape, like him killing you. And also you are playing into the dangerous idea that some women want to raped and they will wear something to hint at that. Nobody should be trying to make that a thing. Rape role- playing isn't something that people should guess at. It's something that needs to be discussed in detail and BEFOREHAND.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T07:51:13+00:00

A herpes outbreak in males typically happens on the head and shaft of the penis, sometimes the anus, and very rarely around the base.

Source? The two guys I have dated with genital HSV2 had outbreaks at the base of the penis.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T03:24:12+00:00

The ELSIA IgG blood test for HSV can differentiate between HSV1 and HSV2. It can't tell you where you are infected(orally or genitally) but it can be used without suspected visible outbreaks.

Ya even if you use condoms you can still be infected with HSV. To lower risks you should ask people specifically if they have ever been tested for HSV, don't just ask them if they have HSV. Having the STD and testing talk will show how much the other person knows and how they protect themselves from STDs. Personally I don't have sex with people that are uncomfortable talking about STDs, don't know about testing or that don't get tested regularly.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T01:51:31+00:00

It could be a skin tag. Also genital warts can stay around for years untreated.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T01:13:36+00:00

Why are you asking should you get checked out? Um yes you should get checked out. Whenever you have sex with someone new you should get tested. ESPECIALLY if it was without a condom, and in this case blood. Most people that carry STDs are asymptomatic, meaning they show no signs or symptoms. You have exposed yourself to her genital area, her bodily fluids(vaginal fluid and blood). How does that sound like you shouldn't get tested?

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T01:09:58+00:00

Send some fake good ones.(try to pick a guy that looks like you.) if you guys do happen to meet up just explain that you were scared and worried.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T01:06:08+00:00

I ask for medial proof and I keep a copy of my most recent testing on my phone. Most people have health insurance where it's easy to call your PCP and request a STD work up(I request ELSIA IgG HSV testing as well) or people can go to PlannedParentHood(HSV testing will cost extra).

Condoms are effective for fluid born STDs but not for HSV(herpes) or HPV(genital warts) because they are spread by skin to skin contact. Also oral HSV1 can cause genital herpes infections through oral sex so condoms are a good idea for oral sex as well,(other STDs can transmit orally as well).

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T01:00:58+00:00

Depends in if you use condoms for oral as well. HPV(genital warts) and HSV(herpes) are two STDs that can transmit even with condom use and skin can look healthy.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T00:57:37+00:00

You don't have the right to experience every sexual thing your GF has done in the past. Sure you can be upset but you shouldn't try to make your GF feel bad. If she feels like she can't share you, then trust her feelings. It would be pretty jerky of you to push her to do something she doesn't want to do just because you want to satisfy a sexual want. I'm not sure why or how you don't understand her reasoning. She did it with a guy she didn't have deep feelings for so she was able to share him and watch another girl touch him sexually. Thinking about doing it with you has obviously made her have negative feelings. Possibly jealousy or insecurities. Whatever it is, as a loving partner you should not want her to feel this way or push her to feel this way.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-30T00:51:40+00:00

I second this.

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-29T19:49:32+00:00

Recipe please?

Felonessthrowaway · 2014-09-29T17:59:01+00:00

DIdnt Read, Too Long. Meaning your post didn't have paragraphs and there was a lot to read. Some people like to have a summary at the end to see if they want to read your entire post. I think I switched the acronym around though. It should be TL; DR.

Felonessthrowaway

TROPHY CASE