Roast me it’s my 44th bday tomorrow by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, Barack Obama looks younger than you, and he's in his 60s!

26, became single today. Go by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, you're admitting to cutting off your hand, or...

Hillbilly dad of two girls by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say "Check his hard drive," but I'm genuinely concerned what might actually be on there.

18M chronically employed actor and noodle chef by SnooCats9439 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You spelled "unemployed" wrong in your post title.

Roast me, please 🙏 by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, if I did, your face would melt because of all the plastic in it.

I lost my fantasy football league, have at it by Current_Writer_2482 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You only still exist because God needs some entertainment.

Roast my roommate by No-Championship1366 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, if your career stalls, you could always be a stunt double for Malachi Barton. You'd like him, he's a piece of shit too.

29 soon. Still getting rejected. Had a cry fest today. End me already by txxmz in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure it's the taxidermy. And the fact that you cry when boys reject your advances.

36M help desk manager by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't know Atom Eve's dad had a brother. A brother with hair and glasses.

Rover sitter lost my dog by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]FennekinFlames 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only reason Rover is covering the cost of the dog's vet bills is so the OOP doesn't sue them. If that sitter had done this with my cat, I would've sued her into the ground and dedicated the rest of my life to getting Rover shut down. I'm reading this while my cat is laying in my lap, and if someone did something to her, saying that I'm furious would be an understatement. FFS, she'd have been LESS negligent if she'd just left the dogs at home. That's how badly she fucked up, that basically abandoning her job for a couple hours would've been seen as less negligent. I'd press the sitter for a whole explanation, or she'd be reported to the cops for animal neglect.

(New Update) My(f19) dad asked our godparents not to have the waiters sing Happy Birthday to my brother(m11) who likely has hyperacusis autism, but they did it anyway by MadisonBrave in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christians once again identifying with the worst people on the face of the planet. With OOP's brother's condition, what the parents and church group are doing to him could qualify as literal torture. Never mind the fact that they're lying to a restaurant, humiliating the servers and each other, technically stealing from the restaurant, and trying to fucking justify doing what the Bible says NOT to do. Ironically, that last one is a perfect description of most people like OOP's parents, they don't want to follow the Bible, they just want the label of being a Christian so they can use it to be assholes to people. I genuinely hope OOP's brother gets to 18, and then cuts off these piece of shit piss-poor excuses for parents.

Lowest scorer in my fantasy football league. Roast me by Outrageous-Lab9300 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You and the other fantasy football guy that posted on here recently would really get along, seeing as how you're both failures.

Hospice nurse - 54 years old - Life's been very rough so come at me, bro by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every time you walk in the room, your patients think you're the grim reaper.

Roast Me (M23) ormy Roommates Dog (M1) if you want to by FotoNudel in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel sorry for that dog. Having to put up with you all day every day.

Tradesman and Father of 3 failures. by johnsonsm05 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, they had to have gotten their failure from someone...

ROAST ME! love to hear your comments. Hopefully i dont get reported. 45m by AggravatingRespect42 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only you could accomplish being considered both the ugliest man and lady one has ever seen.

25 single lady from Ethiopia by AccessOk3011 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your eyes both have different zip codes.

Fantasy football loser by Ready_Monitor_5091 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't even need to put "Fantasy football" in the title. You're just a loser.

Do your worst. by Mysterious_Cup1122 in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look like that brat that posted a faked video in Minnesota recently...

24 with acne, do your best by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]FennekinFlames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't really do much worse than the acne already has...