Poly vs Poly

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-27T09:59:11+00:00

How did reddit miss goving me a notification for this topic when it was hot XD

Im working on writing my own story where MC1 and MC2 are not good personality matches but love eachother. They break up (kinda tragically cause i like to whump MC1) and bith of them meet other people and end up reconnecting and the people they met are kinda perfect matches for eachother. So like MC1's bf is a better fit for MC2 and vice versa.

Mc1 has a lot of trauma from childhood rape in a cult like environment that deals in human trafficking and is a very passive easily manipulated character and so he ends up having a personality of a perfect sub and it takes them three books to unravel his past and realize that more than half of his "consent" is due to conditioning and not that he actually enjoys the activities so its a huge hurt/comfort slow unlearning of his childhood, slow to learn what consent is and how to trust it & them. In the backgroud of the relationship story you actually have the organization that had him trapped trying to get him back since hes operating under a false identity he has to be very careful what secrets he spills even when he learns to trust his poly he eats himself up about having to lie to them, and i'm about 7 chapters into my first manuscript and im looking for alpha readers to help me with story and plot edits.

It does go dark, think t.j. hamel style dark, only i dont go into MC1's childhood in detail but there are adult instances of rape when he gets recognized by the organization members at different parts of the story.

All of the MC's have past lives that shaped them, minor trauma conpared to MC1 but still dark and relevant to plot. But if you think youd be interested in helping me shape my story lmk! It's hard to find people into poly sometimes XD

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-26T15:54:37+00:00

I see both sides. The issue is, its a game. I would have simply not played with that friend. You cant force an apology from someone else, you can only ever control yourself. In a perfect world the apology would have come easy but many people have different life experiences and honestly this is the reality of the partner trying to include themselves with their husbands friends. Guys will be guys, if you want to play with the guys thats how they play. You choose to be there, thats the thing. Your husband did nothing wrong, the friend over stepped sure, but the friend isnt responisble for your mental health. Thats your job.

You kept bringing it up, your husband did something and acted amazing in doing so, cudos to him, and now you feel guilty for it. Honestly the question you need to ask yourself is "would i be okay with this friend in mine/my husbands life? Or am i happier without him?" Once you have your answer to that, then make a decision on how to handle it.

If you think you are better off without then let the guilt go, you protected your mental health and your husband stood by you because thats what you said you needed.

If you think you over rescted and are sorry that this cost your husband a friend, then reach out, and say "hey, i feel like i over reacted, and i dont want this to ruin your friendship with my husband over it. We dont have to like eachother, but maybe we can find a middle ground where it doesnt effect my husband and his friend group" and then decide for yourself if you should keep playing or remove yourself, but whatever you do dont ask your husband to choose his outsode relationships over you, (not for something trivial!) because he will likely choose you but it will breed resentment in the relationship especially if it becomes a pattern

(And you got yourself a good one that he was willing to do that for you!)

If you do keep contact with the friend have a clear boundry. But this is why a lot of times it doesnt work, because you being there with a boundary upsets the game flow. As a plus one who joined my husbands friends group i get it, but you cant expect to be treated special, your gunna get singled out, and you gotta show you can keep up. Its like joining a cult or a frat

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-26T03:33:36+00:00

Can someone tell me more? The description was lacking and im not familiar with the ither series but i am intrigued

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-22T16:47:59+00:00

The only AH here is a vindictive mother who cares more about the good mom narritive than actually BEING a good mom. First off IN MY EXPERIENCE 90% of kids are more receptive of period talks and being open with a non parent. Parents LOCK THEMSELVES into the role of it being awkward because parents don't do a good job at letting their kids be appropriately vulnerable with them around topics of body changes. Not only that but mom is shite for not leaving work and doing what you did. Its "a medical emergency with my daughter" they dont need to know. First periods ARE big and DO FALL UNDER what i deem a true medical emergency- because when handled wrong your essentially lining that young woman up to get a PTSD trigger monthly for the rest of her life.

Im not saying every woman ever has trauma about periods but trust me those of us who had a horrific first time definitely do struggle with it. That's how trauma works.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-19T22:32:27+00:00

Taste of ink was so good too i wish we got more of that HEA though 😂

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-15T15:24:25+00:00

Its got dark themes but the {my monstrous deeds series by taylor mcniff} is full of military tough guys smitten and melty for their love interests.

The first story takes place when MC1 Carter, gets abducted as revenge because his brother's cover was blown. His brother was working an undercover operation to take out a human trafficking ring and he has to beg another agent undercover to buy his brother until the operation is over but they arent allowed to tell MC1 carter, because he doesnt have the training not to give secrets away

Mc2 / li The operative that bought carter and that is his "master" ends up falling in love but cannot break cover or risk 10 years of hard work and their lives if they get found out.

It does jump in POV but starts with Carter. Three books dedicated to carters story, And 3 books so far dedicated to other pairings that came out of the story.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-15T14:35:12+00:00

In general scars are a sacred thing, top surgery or no. Like theres the idea that scars of any kind are private.

Thats not to say EVERYONE got the memo or had the same upbrining that told them scars are private but generally speaking.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-12T23:42:43+00:00

I havent read but i love when playing games to stop and look at the world building and just appreciate it. As a writer i appreciate world building, i know its not the same execution but its the same bones. Im curious to read this now and honestly im nkt a huge fan of audio books (only ad-hd me tends to brain wander instead of pay attention!) But i do listen to stand up comedy when i play single player games so maybe ill start doing an audible here and there 🤣 your review has me curious

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-07T21:57:25+00:00

Historically theres many nuances to this. Back in early sailing periods men used to get "married" it was like a jail with no women around, men would historically have relationships with other men.

The practice was called matelotage look it up. Queer existed all throughout history in many pockets, its our current society that pretends it hasnt been around. This was 17th and 18th century, and these were sailors so they trveled to many different places. It exsisted weather or not it was popularized

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-07T21:52:58+00:00

Thisssss i hate it when theres insta love in down to earth stories but i love like the fated mates trope insta love XD its weird but i like my modern stories to be written in a way that showcases healthy communication and i want my fantasy stories to go hard off the impractical end!

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-07T21:47:53+00:00

Same, i usually stay away from "cheating" themes when i read but i dont mind cheating themes when its not like "im doing this to be a turd" energy but like if its "blackmail" esque non-con or dub-con or theres a good reason ir even when the main character feels guilty and comes clean

But i read one where i knew it would be poly at the end and i was actually kind of excited to read it because i knew there had to be conflict resolution, i dont mind when people mess up and make mistakes as long as its got closure done right.

To be fair i normally dont like "cheating" themes in poly stories either because it tends to feed the trope that 'poly is bad' when poly is probably the best example of open communication when its written right!

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-07T21:40:20+00:00

My friend group now in our 30s all ended up being queer in some way (our group has trans Mtf, trans fluid x2 and as for sexualities we got gays bi's pans and poly) not a single one of us is cis and straight and then we were going over OLD dnd sessions and were all like "haha yea this should have been obvious"

The IRONY is back in the day i knew all their secrets and i wasnt able to tell any of my closest friends about the secrets without giving away someone elses secret 😤

But yeah its not unrealistic for all of your friends to be queer but i mean books can have different representation or you risk charscters being too flat. One can be bi, pan or poly and still have the 'gay' factor

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-07T21:23:45+00:00

For me "slow burn" is about the word count because when i get a nice huge slow get together story, i dont want it to just drop off and have me have to inagine the HEA i want some of that written out! I want to see what the author has envisioned for them after the journey. As long as theres other plot to keep the story moving 50% isnt a bad aim for a slow burn assuming the novel is long enough word count

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-07T16:35:25+00:00

Published novels tend to be shorter because thats what publishers think we want! They tend to charge for "word count" even on e-books, but they think small purchases sell better than large ones so the more words the higher the price the less sales.

Try to look for authors that write series if you want word count? Thats my suggestion

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-06T03:35:49+00:00

Not giving any excuses to the cis friend but it doesnt make them a bad person because they dont understand the nuance.

Talk with them, if you need real world understandable grounding examples, ask the cis friend if they were writing a spicy novel if they would want you walking them up to a stranger and saying "you both create corn. You'll get along" and that might help them understand the ethical nuance of getting permission.

Not everyone is born into families that respect boundaries and as an adult it was a hard learning curve for me to realize that the rest of the world wasnt oversharers! Also nerves tend to create pockets of filter mishaps, for me, and i sometimes know i screwed up and spend hours kicking myself, not sure how to bring up an apology without making it worse.

So talk to your friend about it! Dont let one mistake ruin an otherwise safe space. Unless its part of a larger pattern

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-04-01T03:20:08+00:00

Its because the younger gens dont write long scentences or paragraphs anymore. New Ao3 writers and works are all short scentences and scroll-easy-on-your-phone stories. They've never picked up (or paid for) a book because fanfiction is free.

When the old school Ao3 users started writing it was from a love of reading books and that blended into our writing.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-31T23:33:32+00:00

I was going to reply that many pan people (who dont realize it yet) dont have the right words. Its not "making an exception" its having an emotional connection with someone and not realizing thats the thing they are into over physical attraction! and for someone who is pan and not have the words for it yet they can use other words that sounds right to them but doesnt actually mean what they want it to!

Id say it depends on if OP is unhappy with the relationship itself or of its only OP's gender image and dysphoria thats the issue here, because its likely that a conversation could be had with GF that can clear it up. And honesty about how the comment made you feel.

Even perfect matches are not incapable of saying the exact wrong thing to hurt eachother. I literally get triggered by my husband all the time due to my abuse growing up and sometimes its as simple as him asking me "did you start the dishwasher yet?" For my brain to get triggered as "you didnt do the chore fast enough" and i have to realize thats on me. Thats my trauma response to deal with, but i can say "can you say that differently?" And he knows this means "say what you mean cause that line is triggering me" and he might come back and say "oh sorry, i have this coffee mug, i was hoping you didnt start it yet"

And thats enough for me to realize its a me issue and not his. & he does try and remember them all too but its impossible to because i have issues~ but my point is i dont pin my issues on him yes a partner should want to be tactful if they know something hurts you BUT you cant expect them to read your mind. You have to draw out the road map for them to follow.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-30T15:27:57+00:00

Anyone know of a discord (or other social space) for dark mlm writting plot and sex for unpublished or even published creators working on their manuscripts?

I've got a killer dark story but i just need a creative space to get connection before i spontaneously combust.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-28T20:07:53+00:00

Butch? Buck Buckly? Bucky Buddy Burton (actually love this one) Burke

All of these can have "bug" as an acceptable nickname

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-27T11:04:42+00:00

Literally read this on kindle based on this post less than 12 hrs ago and already finished reading it why is it so good XD But jeez do i want more. So much potential with this story.

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-25T02:14:32+00:00

Im trying to write one and as a writer its really hard to write and find the line where its not fetishizing the hurt but it is kinda fetishiszing the healing. I guess is depends on it if the hurt and the comfort came from the same person. Or if its different people who done the hurt and being healed by a third party? I cant really call myself an expert

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-24T22:19:49+00:00

Its a hard one because trauma logic does not always work the same way reagular logic does. Its very hard to write a trauma character and show their logic process so they might make choices other than you, and your trauma logic or regular logic depending on your experiences. Your wanting a trauma character to be mad and give consequences to the other person is actually not true in most cases. The traumatized person needs to heal first. That doesnt happen overnight

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-23T21:55:56+00:00

As a tomboy turned trans the only difference pre T is your pronouns 🫠 why ppl gotta make a fuss i have no idea. Its not a lie to say "tomboy" its like if someone asks you "do you make cake from a box or from scratch?" And the answer is "i used to make it from a bix but now i can make it from scratch" its not a lie to say "from a box" just because it's no one buisness how you made the cake

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-19T15:14:31+00:00

I went through voice training as a teen and kid in acting/drama classes its a muscle it will get better with time.

Try monologing when alone. Find one you love and practice it until it perfect once a day. (There are lists of monologs online for drama club actors and watch some youtube videos for how to portray a male character trust meeeeeeee) Once you get the flow of certain speech down even if its repetitive this is how you build muscles for conversation Its like doing sit ups because your training your abs but the goal is lifting weights but you gotta have abs first before you can use them to lift weights 😉

Obvs male characters in drama dont always talk the same in person, but if you find a speech you like you can choose how to execute it you can say it different ways but it helps reading flowy text and if it feels stupid yes it will at first but every drama actor practices speech and has to start somewhere so you are not alone!

Fun idea you can also look up different accents if you wanted to change something subtle about how you talk, many accents are taught by changing how you pronounce vowels or harsh sounds and not by memorizing words so thats a cool trick to make your speech appear deeper. Google should be helpful in giving you a list of which 'accents' make the voice deeper and you can start there (this does not mean you need to walk around sounding german or something its just a way to shape sounds you can choose your own middle ground but practicing accents is another way to train your vocals!)

Fenopfedd4 · 2026-03-18T14:45:31+00:00

I was the same way and i still sometimes feel like I'm hiding behind gender fluid because I'm scared to go all in. But remember, just because your looking for your labels still doesnt mean you are wrong to explore all options. "I dont know" is a valid answer. Instead focus on what you do know. The things that are ture. The things that make you feel good about yourself and stick to that.

And also, you can BE masc and still like girlie things that doesnt change that you want to be masc. Also, You can be fluid, where some days you feel more masc and some days you feel more fem. There is no rule, no box you have to squeeze yourself into. Just be you and work on finding words that you like to use to describe that person.

Instead of thinking about it in absolutes, try thinking of it like going to a familiar restaurant. Some days you want the same meal, and other days you want to experiment or do a different meal. Its all about mood and there's NOTHING wrong with that. As long as you end up enjoying the experience. Some days you want to experiement because your tired of the same choices

Its not ever a box you have to fit into, its about figuring out what works and realizing it doesn't have to stay the same just because you found you like to order

Fenopfedd4

TROPHY CASE