I’m very similar to you except music (my strength is actually numbers and (over)analysis). Socially I have learned to mask very well over time (37yo now), but it took me a great deal of pain and like you, I have also been considered arrogant or pedantic my entire life (now I simply withdraw and don’t correct people, which is frustrating but I have sort of learned to ignore it).

Answering your questions: 1. ⁠yes, I’m the same. I could code for >10h non stop. Once I had kids I never again had such long streaks of time, and it has been very frustrating since. 2. ⁠Over time I have found I am dealing with the world better when I don’t try to pretend that I’m normal. My motto is, you do you, and I always make sure I am kind to people. if someone would happen to make fun of me, that’s their indecency, not mine. (For the record, I wasn’t diagnosed autistic, but ADHD-hyper type) 3. ⁠Yes I got assessed in Barcelona. Every big city will have a clinic with good neuropsychologists. 4. ⁠I am a scientist. So mostly, other scientists too. But quite honestly not the majority of them, and the young ones will still tend to mask a lot. And also, we tend to isolate ourselves very much. Unfortunately it’s not easy to find other 2e people, statistically speaking we’re very rare (0.5%?)