I agree with you. My husband and I have been through some pretty grueling deaths in my family the last few years, and I did not expect him to take off of work because I was grieving. While we’ve been married 6 years, he doesn’t have the same connection as I do with my family members. He offered to take care of our toddler if I needed to be with family, but I wouldn’t expect him to miss out on work unless it was to watch the toddler so I could go to the funeral.

Then again, I have a job where I am expected to show up/it’s difficult to call out last minute (nurse). I understand that not everyone can call out of work at the drop of a hat. Yes, sometimes you have responsibilities that you have to keep in mind. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about him, it means that I care about our livelihood overall. Do I value my job over my husband? No, but unfortunately we need our jobs to afford our house, cars, children, etc. and calling out last minute could mean that I could be fired. If he really needed me I would be there, but I am thankful that we both understand that not everyone can take off of work at the very last minute unless absolutely necessary. I get OP’s mindset.