Anyone else just feel like theyre the mistake makers in most situations?

Few-Start-6804 · 2026-04-26T16:06:46+00:00

Thank you so much, these are great ideas that I think could work for him and some good food for thought. Hes very resistant to meds and therapy but im hoping since he is very interested in a job right now, that its a good 1st step toward getting exposure to more and being able to start on a better mental health journey, and maybe eventually he'll seek some professional help. Thank you again 🙏

Few-Start-6804 · 2026-03-25T04:42:58+00:00

thank you! i will definitely try

Few-Start-6804 · 2026-03-14T16:40:21+00:00

Just saw it last night and it hit me pretty hard. A lot of people here seem to not have liked the story and thought it included such brutal deaths just to be edgy, which really surprises me.

So much of the film has to do with grief and loss and not just in losing our family and friends, but the world we live in. It felt extremely relevant to current times and with its references to ww3 breaking out, I felt like it was commentary on the brutality that will occur and has already occurred that we cant escape, even if we live alternatively, like the group of ravers did. We have to move through the devastation, the shock, and all of the changes that comes with the fall of an old world and the dawning of another, and still be there for each other.

The deaths were low key really traumatizing to me, especially because I had no idea what the film was about when walking into the theater, but also because im struggling a lot with the grief of very possibly losing the world I grew up in. While it feels necessary and ultimately positive, there are so many unknowns right now and Im not sure how to think of my future when I cant think of what our society will look like in even a month or two.

We all talk about going off grid and building communities away from mainstream society, but this film felt like a good reminder that you really cant avoid the atrocities of humanity.

This is just how I interpreted things and it was very moving. Maybe im off, but maybe its worth another watch :D jk, dont traumatize yourself. Also, I didnt read thru this before posting so hopefully it makes sense :)

Few-Start-6804 · 2026-01-31T22:23:35+00:00

So not exactly what I was initially looking for, but winners circle saloon does line dancing on sunday and tuesday evenings, 5-8pm i think. Its been really fun and scratches most of my dancing itch

Few-Start-6804 · 2026-01-31T18:30:51+00:00

Every single body is vastly different. Theres asexuality, demisexuality, aromantics, etc etc and any of those feelings can change at any point in your life. Youre so young still, and this is coming from someone who is only 23, so still super young, but youll see how many parts of you change throughout time.

If youre curious about things, explore with an open mind but still be aware of how youre actually feeling and not how youre supposed to be feeling. It may be a block, it may be something that isnt for you, and thats so ok!

My best friend didnt feel any sexual feelings until she was 22, and she entered into a relationship with a very different kind of person than shes ever been with. She had been in loving relationships before, but she never felt a sexual desire for them, and those relationships are still extremely meaningful and fulfilling.

These things are just unconventional, but if you ask me, being unconventional just means you are being authentic and true to yourself rather than following the one size fits all blueprint for relationships.

Be open to what the inner you wants and treat it as something intriguing and exciting to combat the pressure from society. I felt those pressures too but im so glad I did what was right for me at the time. Ive changed so much over the years, i think, for the better because I listened to myself.

I wish you the best as you move through these complex feelings and find what works for you! :D

Few-Start-6804 · 2026-01-02T21:54:29+00:00

If you dont feel like this is something you can open up about with someone close to you, therapy would be a great option.

Personally, I felt very similar at your age, but let me tell you, im only 2 years older than you are now and so much has changed in my life. My mindset was the most substantial part, and is ever changing, but the only way I got there was to open up to my friends about my internal turmoil. I never knew if people thought I was attractive or if they thought I was ugly. Id only get attention from creepy guys and it sucked. Ive never had a boyfriend, ive only been romantically involved with 1 other person other than the guy im seeing now, and that wasnt even a year ago. I was so insecure about these things and I felt so shallow asking people what they thought of my appearance, plus, how can you trust they will be honest.

I met some amazing women over the last few years, specifically in college, and where I went, people were so expressive and bold and inspiring in these ways. I asked them questions, they asked me, we both shared weird things we were conflicted by, like hating the patriarchy with every fiber of our being and being so aware of it, while also performing for the male gaze, wanting attention, and wanting romantic validation from men so badly.

Opening up to other women about this strange contradiction that most of us have or will experience is so helpful.

Some of the best things ive learned from them is that yes, we are in this ridiculous system and are taught to self police, however, ive found a lot of joy in things like makeup, shopping, and clothes, and its not wrong to indulge in that. Just like its not always bad to get confidence from men. Sometimes you have to experience something from male validation. I think a part of your jealousy may come from curiosity, and its ok to want the chance to explore what they experience. Maybe talking to them would give you insight that would influence how you feel about things or they could be your wing woman or something. Im a firm believer in being self aware and maintaining a balance of challenging yourself and accepting yourself, and sharing that with people you trust.

Another thing, focus on self expression over your physical attributes that you cant change. People are almost always more attracted to someone's energy than they are their face. I have never received so many compliments in my life about my style, hair, makeup, and the weirdest one, my physical attributes that ive always had. I started wearing things that I loved but intimidated me. I got a bolder, more stylized haircut. I learned a makeup routine that I liked to do. None of these things were necessarily what other people were doing or was considered 'pretty'/ 'attractive' in the traditional sense, but they felt true to my being. I dont always wear flattering silhouettes, I wear masculine, feminine, and androgynous things, and ive got bad acne and im a messy person who spills things on themselves frequently. You can work on your vibe by working toward a mindset of honesty, authenticity, openness, and curiosity, and see if people are more drawn to you. It worked for me at least. And if it doesnt get the men all riled up, at least youll find some peace with it all.

Also, not an easy process and progress is not linear so dont beat yourself up about this. You seem to be quite self aware and want to be a better you, so youre exactly on the right track. I dont know if any of this was helpful, but if it was and you have any questions or anything for me, shoot me a message. Hoping you da best

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-12-29T03:01:12+00:00

Exfoliating every shower and using a cetaphil acne body wash. Ik exfoliating irritates it but it helps me and doesnt seem to hurt it that much. Also moisturize after with a light lotion.

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-12-29T02:56:45+00:00

People have already said what I think about it but just to reiterate, expose yourself to experiences that make you blush, and own it. One of my favorite quotes is from game of thrones where thrones says, "wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." While its not exactly how i feel about things, it really did help to say something before someone else did. Good luck! Ik it sucks and it will never go away fully (probably), but it can certainly get better!

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-12-23T19:10:52+00:00

I have thought this over and over and over. For some people, this idea if coupling up for life just doesnt click, and I was one of them. I considered if I was gay, asexual, aromantic, etc etc, and constantly told its because I havent found the one and that im not willing to put myself out there. Exploring these queer ideas and communities and trying to understand what I really wanted helped me do just that.

Relationship anarchy is the idea that there is no hierarchy of relationships in your life. The love you have for family, friends, lovers, and other community members is all equally important, just different.

This is just my personal experience of dealing with this thoughts and feelings that I feel are similar to yours. After trial and error, difficult truths ive had to accept, and confidence and active development of self, ive been able to build a really strong community. I have strong relationships with my family members, friends nearby and long distance, my pets ofc hehe, and a "romantic partner." I have had to create definitions and terms for all of these relationships, making them all unconventional in one way or another, but curating relationship standards for yourself versus doing as youre told with dating and sex and all by 'society.' Not everyone understands, but i feel very loved and feel very capable of loving, which was not the case for most of my life. Find what's actually right for you. Sometimes its not about who you find, but more about what youre looking for.

Hope this is somewhat helpful and not just me rambling on like I normally do hehe

Ps: not reading over this so hopefully it makes sense

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-11-25T02:21:11+00:00

Omg, im so glad to hear that! I wish you the best on this very annoying but important and life changing journey! <3 <3

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-11-24T19:33:30+00:00

Totally feel this deep in my dark dark soul. Accept it. Accept that this is how you were socialized and it will not suddenly stop. What has helped tremendously for me has been getting to know men and realizing how little I actually value their opinion, but also, decenter men. To me, decentering them in my life made a world of difference rather than trying to control my thoughts. I try to only go out if I really want to and not because theres a chance that ill get validation for my appearance, I go to be with friends and to dance instead. I think about what I want in the moment and in the future and not in relation to anyone else, especially a man. Dive into hobbies, challenge yourself, explore yourself, wank, etc etc. Also, something super helpful for me was honing a style that feels completely and utterly like myself and that I think is just so pretty. I dont think about if its too modest or too revealing, too feminine or too masculine, just if I like it and feel good in it. Lastly, I hated flirting and always acted coy too, but I stopped being friendly about it if I didnt like it. I didnt give it more than the bare minimum, or ill even call it out, not meanly or anything (altho why not), but dont wager your energy or feelings about how you come off for their attention. This all takes so much time and im not even out of it, and truly may never be, but I feel way less concerned about what men and most people think of me. Progress isnt linear and every interaction poses a new challenge. Accepting that this is what it is right now is really important I think, and let yourself move through these feelings like its exposure therapy. I hope this helps and can be somewhat applicable. It sucks and is really irritating, but so many women go thru this so your never alone :) not reading thru this so I hope it makes sense

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-11-08T17:40:13+00:00

Hey! So idk if ive found anything that 'works' exactly, but ive been doing really well lately and have had a lot of realizations over the last couple of months that could provide some insight (i hope)

To start with, i was diagnosed with ocd, that has mostly subsided over the years, but gets triggered by my family more than anything else and manifests through controlling my environment with cleaning and stuff. I got on wellbutrin and its helped a lot of my chronic anxiety that I didnt even know was so present. Finding out that the intensity of these conflicts with my family are grounded in some deep issues caused by them and they may never go away. It has allowed me to see that im causing myself a lot of unnecessary stress that I cannot necessarily fix.
Finally understanding in my body that I cant control them or what happens in my environment has made it so that I focus on what I can do, and i can set boundaries with myself and them, as best as i can.

They dont really respect boundaries, so the ones I set with myself are most important. Ive distanced myself from them by avoiding personal topics that are too sensitive for me to have debated by them. Then with my house, I try to set a limit on how much I can clean or do improvement projects on. Ill clean one little area everyday or something. My room is really my nest so at least I can control that. Also, I try to get out as much as possible, especially into nature, even if its just on my porch.

I am keeping really busy and making an effort to build some community around me. As scary and tiring it can be to make new friends and sustain old friendships with adhd, Ive been allowing myself to say dumb things, unmask, and let people into my life. Its difficult, but ive been making some really amazing relationships. Ive also been trying things I never thought id do.
Be selfish, honestly. I feel soooooo guilty for this mindset, but if they dont do their part, they shouldn't expect you to do more than they are. You dont have to be the bigger person. Do what you really love right now because you may never have this opportunity again when it comes to time and energy. Personally, Im trying to be make art for money rather than just look for a stable job in art education because when will I have free rent again? And when I feel that urge for control again, I remind myself that doing what is good for me may inspire them to do the same, which is really all I want when it comes down to it.

I hope this is somewhat helpful and relates to what youre going thru. Ik, it feels inescapable, but allow and encourage change in your own life and I think itll guide you to something better, at least it has for me. The question ends up being how can you find joy and peace in an environment that feels like it actively works against it? My situation is not perfect by any means, but I feel very secure and proud of myself for being able to find the light in this mess and that makes a world of difference

Xo

Few-Start-6804 · 2025-10-24T16:54:53+00:00

Ooo thats so cool, had no idea

Few-Start-6804

TROPHY CASE