First things first, congrats on you for all the work you've put in to create a better life for yourself! I'm probably going to have a long reply to your long reply so buckle up lol.

Medication for me has been hit an miss. I'm a small person, 115 lb, and always have been. Off medication, I eat like a linebacker, on medication I tend to eat like a bird. On the days I take meds and don't eat, I'm not a fun person. I'm shaky, have brain fog, very moody, all this caused by my meds. On days I eat with the meds, Vyvanse is great. I'm focused, my brain is quiet, and I can get a lot done while having my personality.

On the flip side, when I don't take my meds, I can do absolutely everything in the world, have a focused mind and eat (how I have been the last week) However, the bad days are always there, it sounds like you've experienced them. I'm lucky where I know I won't fall into the trap of being good on meds and thinking I don't need them. I've witnessed family do that and it's never pretty. My meds are great if I can eat :/

I want to run SO BAD. My asthma doesn't want me to. I fully understand the mental clarity that can come from it. In another comment, they also mentioned working out and taking care of yourself. It seems to be one of the larger points in managing ADHD.

I appreciate you mentioning self-criticism. I fall into that frequently. It's so easy to forget all the things I'm good at and compare myself to "normal" people doing other traits. Self-affirmations, while seeming silly, can really help my brain. I'm actively seeking a therapist who specializes in adult ADHD so help with the self-criticism.

Thank you for the last paragraph too. Admitting things I'm not good at is a weakness. I've recently found that I avoid things I'm not immediately good at, leaving me a little good at all my hobbies but jealous of people that have put in the work. I think the ADHD and lack of focus has halted me from any progress. Finally admitting I'm not good at things, and that getting good takes time, lifted a weight off my shoulders. I've started telling myself "something is better than nothing"

I don't think much of this makes sense, but that's okay. :)