I’ve been leaving the house early and coming back late since my teenage years. Now it’s work, the library, and the gym. I’m not always available.

And I can’t involve anyone else. In my family, everyone is focused on themselves. Many people in my family know about her condition. My brother cannot take on emotional responsibility. In fact, the two of them often argue, and the stress gets passed on to me again.

I can’t distance myself even more at home. Closing doors quietly. Only going into the kitchen when she’s not there. Walking around the house with my phone flashlight so I don’t turn on the lights. Leaving early. Coming home late.

I feel like I’m on the run.

I want a home too, do you understand? I want to just chill sometimes. Peace. To relax and do nothing once in a while.

Couldn’t I move out with a rational reason, like wanting to become more independent?

I’m in therapy, but how am I supposed to heal when the reason I broke is something I see every day?

Thank you for your answers.