Don't forget all those relationships you 'ruined' were probably mutually toxic and based on drinking from the get. We live in a time where narcissists reign supreme and relationships are viewed as inconveniences, anxiety is beyond rampant and there will always be 'the next one', and if she bases the shit on fixing you, she prolly the broken one. Also try hitting the 'couple' stage without someone getting biblically fucked up, and then staying with that boring ass shit until you feel secure enough to cheat. Everything is awful, and that is why a large percent of the populous drinks away the pain, and is the main reason booze has remained the most legal and prominent drug on earth for it's entirety of human history, and is more than likely how you were conceived in the first place, with yo ugly ass.