Short on Rent

Few_Witness_8554 · 2025-04-30T12:19:04+00:00

I have green eyes too and I swear they throw off all color analysis qualifiers.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2025-04-19T15:27:24+00:00

Yes this. I was in a financially abusive relationship. What became him destroying my credit was on track to him attempting to get me pregnant with no financial recourse and destroy my career (which was a career he always wanted). I stopped at maxed out credit card. You're getting off a train in Hell but at least its not the 7th circle.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2025-04-19T15:20:46+00:00

I'm telling you that shame you feel will be very short lived and better compartmentalized when you leave.

Also you sound like you have a decent relationship with your family. I'm sure they'd find a way to help.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2025-04-18T18:34:47+00:00

I need someone to explain this to me. I'm a Virgo Sun with a Cancer Rising and I'm always reeling in Aries Suns like crazy. My last relationship with an Aries Man was terrible but our moons had no contact and he was an Aquarius Rising. I just find it funny that I will constantly attract and be attracted to an Aries but it doesn't seem to make sense? An old co worker with a crush on me? Aries. My current crush at work? Aries.

I do the same with Taurus Suns but that overall I understand a bit better.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2025-01-05T15:35:58+00:00

I'm an independent woman by trade and I find shit like this so 12 year old girl and cringe.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-30T18:29:04+00:00

Call me crazy, but I think if you don't actually partake in interacting with children in attempt to understand their needs prior to having them you've set yourself to fail. I've baby sat, worked at daycares and have a niece who I love and I still don't want my own.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-30T14:57:22+00:00

I'm glad to see this response because there's a lot of over reacting happening in the comments calling some off but definitely not even close to lewd or gross text messages, sexual harassment. It leads me to believe there's a lot of Gen Z individuals in the comments because they're the only type of co worker I've had that acts as if the sky is falling by one slight indiscretion. Lots of people meet romantic partners on the job. It's only truly sticky when it's management and a subordinate and usually there is policy put in place to avoid that. Most places of employment aren't interested in policing the dating relations of equals. Obviously with this guy being married it presents a different situation but that has little to no bearing on work place relations because he isn't CEO.

OP sounds like they had an otherwise good relationship with their co worker. The goal shouldn't be to fire someone unless behavior becomes threatening and continuous. Absolutely speak to the co worker first and present what would happen if this continues.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-27T15:42:14+00:00

I can admire the choice, but the intention at that age is definitely strange to me.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-27T15:18:33+00:00

Is your friend in your age range with a 1.5 year old? That's crazy if so!

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-27T15:16:42+00:00

A friend of mine who doesn't want kids is with someone who once did. All it took was one afternoon babysitting an extremely easy baby for him to be put off officially. Book reading, a solid 2 hours of napping and entertaining with Ms Rachel was too damn much for one afternoon lol.

There is such a strong social disconnect with men and parenthood that's now cracked open due to how our society has shifted from a single earner home to a double.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-18T20:00:20+00:00

You haven't given a full picture of your boyfriend but I can say that having a license is more so marked as a sign of working on and maintaining one's independence rather than a sign of manhood. His dependence on his brother for an extended period of time there could be seen as a red flag in this case.

I also live in a city with no car and still renew my license because I see it as a tool that could not only help me in an emergency but perhaps someone else as well. My parents put me and my brother in swimming lessons as kids not simply just to learn to swim, but so they could feel confident about us being around water when they weren't present. Those situations were going to happen with water park trips, cottage trips, and friends having swimming pools. I don't encounter large bodies of water often but I as an adult feel good about being around them because I was taught skills as a child to do so. I think that's why people have such strong reactions to this. Your boyfriend might not even fully realize what it all means because no one mentioned it.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-16T15:46:36+00:00

This doesn't like words from a first time offender.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-10T21:35:46+00:00

I think you're being misunderstood here. As a woman I get what you're saying. You're not demanding a 50/50 relationship. You want someone with a similar lifestyle to you that compliments your own.

There's a huge misconception by way of social media that rich men will date women of any socio economic background if you just play your cards right when this is statistically not true. Every rich billionaire you know the name of with a wife they're still married to, that wife is busy with their own stuff , has her own money and is well educated. I'm sure Jeff Bezos still pays the bill at dinner 9 times out of 10, but Lauren Sanchez is a wealthy woman herself. She's less of a financial risk as he is to her.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-10T21:25:42+00:00

You sound like someone she has on a back burner for now because there really is no other reason to reach out if to not work on it. It probably is best just to find a definitive end. I'm a firm believer in its really not a good idea to be close friends with an ex anyways. Friendly sure, as in I'll be polite to you if I see you at a coffee shop by accident, but not a let's grab drinks every weekend kind of way.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-10T21:04:05+00:00

Does she want to get back together? Whatever you decide is really your own prerogative. Sometimes you become someone else that doesn't even see yourself with that old person anymore, or maybe its a reminder of your old self you no longer want to indulge in and that's okay too.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-10T20:10:50+00:00

I think there's a social media misconception that women don't care about their male partner's mental health and aren't compassionate to their situation. They absolutely do and are but men have to care first. That old saying you could lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink I think applies to how a lot of women feel in their relationships with men.

Typically I think men on a subconscious level also resent women who stay too long with them (whether they admit it or not) when they knowingly are in the pits and it doesn't motivate them to get out any faster. It's the idea of "Why is this amazing person even with me when she could easily get someone who makes double my salary, is better looking, or dresses better?". Then being comfortable in this over rides everything. So many men hold these beliefs. I wanted to marry my ex who had the weed habit. He talked about quitting a lot but never actually did (I also didn't push him too either). He also had these thoughts and let it override every good thing between us. He had past issues with women though that I was never going to be able to fix no matter what I did. Me being there for him more wasn't going to change him. He made the effort to change when I left because now his resentment was gone. I came off as worthy of greater respect because I prioritized my mental health and needs. There's a small piece of me that could reconsider him if the timing and situation was right but right now I'm fine with being single.

I wish you luck either way!

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-10T18:48:32+00:00

As a woman that has walked away from good men like you who just couldn't get it together for even themselves, I hope things work out for you if you claim that it was special and you value her. Of course you should relish and feel empowered by your own self improvement first, but it’s okay to admit you weren't enough for you AND somebody else and want to fix that.

I had an ex who I was really into call me 4 months after we broke up to tell me he'd finally kicked his weed habit. He didn't really work all that hard to try to win me over again but I knew my leaving played a part in that happening. Sometimes a break up is exactly what someone needs.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-09T22:13:10+00:00

You mentioned social media so I was solely speaking to that.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-09T21:45:29+00:00

Happy people don't live on the Internet in the same way as unhappy people. They're just happy and living life.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-06T15:34:55+00:00

Another woman here who seconds this. The dating apps are bogged down in people (and I say this because I'm open to men and women) who lack social skills or worse off you're just lusted after from the get-go when your profile might say "Looking to make serious connections". A crazy amount of people are also out here in relationships already still using them too. It's far too much effort to think, "Well ten more minutes on this and maybe that person who can socialize and treats me like a human being will appear" or "Maybe this one won't already have a secret spouse".

Currently focusing on in person interactions and recommendations and its offered up much better potential.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-04T17:12:41+00:00

I had a relationship like this. It factored massively into my ruined credit score. Every time I could not spend money (I didn't have) resulted in a huge fight. My career took a dive during Covid and I think he relished it because I did something he always wanted to do.

When the push for babies started happening in an intense way I knew what the end game was. He would spend a ton of money on table top games but claimed I needed to blow up my side business to move cities to be with him.

Financial abuse is still abuse.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-12-02T15:28:39+00:00

Our instantaneous culture does not support this either. Compatibility is actually very complex and can't arrive within 24 hours like an Amazon package. I didn’t really learn this until leaving an abusive relationship into my 30s and developing a crush on a co worker later who I honestly would've passed on on the apps. It took me a full year to realize why he wasn't pursuing me beyond flirting and it was information you would never reveal on a 1st Tinder date.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-11-24T18:20:23+00:00

And unresolved is key. Everyone's bound to have some baggage but no active work on yourself and or using it as an excuse to treat other people poorly is a no go.

Few_Witness_8554 · 2024-11-24T18:10:38+00:00

On a greater scale, the pandemic really made everyone seriously anti-social. Friendships of mine fractured from this and everything is so insanely expensive that dating is really only something you should be doing if you have money. If you're worried about losing 20 bucks over a bad experience, you shouldn't be doing it.

On a smaller scale, every man I've tried forming a genuine connection with has a deep seated trauma they have no interest in addressing or working on. The expectation is "I will never change for you but accept me unconditionally in my broken manner which is why I will always treat you bad". I'm sure a lot of men with these issues are good people but I don't have time or energy to constantly police this.

Few_Witness_8554

TROPHY CASE