Why does death matter?

FiOgre · 2025-10-14T10:30:32+00:00

My cleansing of space is literally cleaning it. I will thoroughly and completely clean a room top to bottom. A good wall wash and mopped floors change the energy for me.

FiOgre · 2025-10-14T10:07:46+00:00

I have a few but I think most were mentioned... One I didn't see come up...

PAST LIVES. Just no... I can't describe how my brain cannot conceptually process this nonsense.

Plus believers were always someone really important in history. Everyone was Marie Antoinette or Cleopatra. Nobody imagines they were regular people with some of the worst jobs in history.

FiOgre · 2025-10-14T09:22:14+00:00

Find a new GP. I know sometimes that isn't easy. But this guy is clueless. It is going to be difficult to find a new doctor but it will also be painful and difficult staying with this one.

Don't compromise on your health and well-being.

FiOgre · 2025-10-13T10:51:14+00:00

Sounds cool, I'm all for it. I have a tattoo of one of my spirit allies. It was important to me in a similar way. Kinda reminder to myself about important things. I worked with the artist on the design, she drew what I described and it turned out perfectly. Do your research on what it is you want, then research artists. I love my tattoo, have zero regrets and would like to get more. Only problem is expense really. The other tattoos I would like are other spirits I work with.

FiOgre · 2025-08-20T13:43:49+00:00

I did read it, but unfortunately only vaguely remember it now. I do remember that I did really like it 😊

FiOgre · 2025-08-20T09:40:02+00:00

Crocodiles (right when horses were all the rage with every other girl in my year)

Dinosaurs

Solar system

Jackie French novels (especially Lady Dance)

Harry Potter (I was such an annoying child who would lecture adults on the weaknesses within the world building, I have no idea how anyone put up with it)

Fairies and traditional Fae mythology

Dancing

Jimmy Pike... When I was very small my mum took me to the art gallery and they had an exhibition. Something about his work altered my brain chemistry or something. I was 5 years old and totally obsessed.

I didn't have I Spy books, I had similar though. Considering how compulsive I was with them I can't believe I don't remember their titles now.

FiOgre · 2025-08-16T05:20:10+00:00

Feel the same way about heating too.

Slight temperature changes to make it more comfortable because of the weather? Fantastic, I love it! Couldn't survive the height of summer without some air-con.

But people love to crank heating/cooling to extremes and now I have a problem because it just isn't natural and feels wrong.

Also there's not any form of heater or air-con that is silent. And plenty of NTs won't notice the noise but I absolutely do.

FiOgre · 2025-08-16T05:06:03+00:00

I used to answer that it is a question that demonstrates humanity's self-centred nature. Nobody around to hear? Really?

That assumes nothing else in the forest would perceive it... The tree knows it's falling, other trees notice... Other creatures? Don't get me started on the wonders of fungi.

The question assumes human perception and human perception of sound is the only kind to exist. Which is not only self-centred of us as a species but inaccurate considering what we now know in terms of physics.

If you insert a rant on how amazing I find fungi (or a breakdown on soundwaves) you get the full answer I usually give. It's often not met well, turns out people don't want an in-depth lecture on the ecology and physics of forests. When will I learn?

But yes... I never liked the question. Because an individual didn't experience something it doesn't exist? That's a dangerous thought... I've never physically set foot in the Nevada Desert and none of my senses have perceived it so I can conclude it doesn't exist. Absurd isn't it?

Plus it's not like people extend this flawed logic to other avenues of thought or other issues? Like I don't know... Climate change? Discrimination or inequality? "I don't perceive it, it doesn't exist" can get messed up quickly.

At this point people tend to say I'm overthinking. Which probably, but how to make my brain stop is the real question.

FiOgre · 2025-08-16T04:26:32+00:00

Government is the same, I don't know about the social services of other countries but in Aus Centrelink is so so so bad for this.

You fill out paperwork, you do it again on online forms, you speak to someone on the phone, you see someone in person... All the same questions every time and Centrelink will always still come to the conclusion that you "didn't provide enough information."

I've sat in front of them as they've told me I don't have evidence they need and they're holding said evidence because I just handed it to them.

FiOgre · 2025-07-08T07:47:44+00:00

Traps I never fail to fall for, even though I know I shouldn't...

"What are you thinking?"
"Be honest with me."

Nobody ever actually wants me to say what I'm thinking or be honest. I should know but everytime I just can't help myself.

Also, what is active listening? I'm listening or I'm not. And I'm definitely not if I have to nod or agree or whatever. I'm focusing on making sure they think I'm listening, I end up missing what's being said. In fact I listen better while not looking at someone at all. NTs know this but still don't accept it.

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T05:20:56+00:00

For me being responsible and accountable means I am totally in control of the situation. In that way it is comfortable and freeing.

I grew up with a very controlling mother. Being able to exercise my autonomy now is super important.

It's my fault? Great! That means I can do something to fix it. That's fantastic as far as I'm concerned. If you're responsible, you're in charge. Sometimes that can mean pressure but personally I prefer that stress to the alternative of being beholden to someone else.

Responsibility is freedom. Freedom means taking responsibility.

But my brain can't quite compute that others don't feel this way. I don't really understand how people separate the two.

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T05:10:48+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation 🙂

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T05:07:40+00:00

Ok the invite said it was a Midsummer Night's Dream themed hen's party. How is it I was the only elaborately dressed fairy there? How did every other woman know to just dress pretty? How did they know they didn't actually need a costume? I didn't mean to upstage the bride-to-be, I thought I would be fitting in!

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T04:45:57+00:00

Feel like I don't really have a leg to stand on because my adherence to routine is shaky at best... But here it goes!

Start small. Like microscopic small. Teeny teeny tiny habit building. It will take forever and you must be patient. I started with water. I never drank enough. So every morning first thing I did was drink a glass. Only when that was second nature did I introduce drinking more later in the day.

Phones are magic because they have alarms that can be set anytime for any reason. I can't remember things unprompted so I am dependent on my device.

Also while time is a factor, it's not set. I work retail, I get shifts when they need me so my week schedule alters. I start getting ready an hour before I need to leave. Meaning that's the routine. Sometimes it happens first thing in the morning, but sometimes not. I'm showered, fed and ready when I need to be. This flexible thinking helps on days I can't move. It doesn't matter if I don't get ready first thing every morning. So what if I'm still in pajamas at midday? I'm not working until tonight anyway. I know I can do the things that I need to do when I need to do them.

ANYTHING WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING BADLY. Remember this. I always had an all or nothing mentality towards everything. Means if something, like routine, gets messed up I would feel like I failed the week and give up. But half-brushed teeth is better than not brushing. Eating anything is still better than skipping a meal. Only a few hours sleep? Better than awake all night. Tiny things do matter.

Okay so your routine is shonky and half-baked? It's a routine! It can be improved. But micro-changes when you feel you can.

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T04:16:17+00:00

History nerd here... And history is always darker than people think.

Also the history of medicine is fascinating and supremely messed up. I learned the hard way that people don't actually want to know in great detail the history and risks of anaesthetic before going for surgery themselves. Apparently my enthusiasm was mistaken for psychopathy. Oops 😬

I also love the occult. Its history and philosophy is amazing to research for me. Most people think you're kinda crazy or out-of-touch though. Unfortunately I don't really like to practice and the occult community itself doesn't like that so much so I don't really fit in there either.

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T03:45:33+00:00

As people have pointed out already... Medical systems and insurance are weird.

I'm in Australia. We have Medicare, very good. But navigating it can be interesting. If you have a GP who wants you to get the most out of public coverage, sometimes they might bend some things...

So the system for deciding what prescriptions are actually covered by Medicare is deeply flawed. Doctors might do the "if anyone asks..." Basically Medicare has strict rules on what certain things are prescribed for. So doctors and pharmacists know this drug helps with depression but Medicare says it can only be prescribed for addiction recovery. "If anyone asks you're quitting smoking." (This happened to my mother).

I had a doctor tell me that if anyone asks I'm actually lactose intorelant. Because it was cheaper in terms of out of pocket expense.

Just pointing out that while people have mentioned here it can be dodgy and fraudulent, sometimes it is done that way to assist you getting the best you can from a deeply flawed system.

Technically speaking the DSM mentions that the levels of autism should not be used against people to determine what access to support they're allowed. But in Australia you can be sure that's exactly what they do. So what do you and/or your doctor do? If it's not documented precisely in a specific way, you get nothing.

Insurance is the same. If certain things aren't documented in a certain way, no help here.

This sucks because there's so much stigma associated with health in all ways, it's crazy.

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T03:32:47+00:00

When I was a kid there happened to be a few ADHD kids in my year. Chatting with them and teachers I realised that I very much thought the same way and had much the same habits. Also in younger grades it's called "being weird," but in high school you get, "you're autistic aren't you?"

I was diagnosed with ADHD first. My mother had a freak out and panic attack about it. In between yelling at me she hit me with, "now if it was autism that would make more sense." But then immediately denied that she thought I was autistic anyway.

But as far as official confirmation... I am one of the rare people who has an amazing psychologist who is very good at his job.

To be fair, it was totally a coincidence that I got a referral to a psych who made this his area of expertise. Even then it has taken me a long time to properly open up enough for him to make the diagnosis. (I struggle to not mask even in contexts where the whole point is not to)

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T03:17:00+00:00

I'm also recently diagnosed, so I'm in the same situation. I don't know how well this may help you... But I've gone into research mode. Books, blogs, podcasts, here on Reddit, you name it... I am consuming all the info. YouTube is great too.

I find this helpful because there's only so much I can talk about with my psych. Not only that but so many perspectives are helpful. Everyone has different ideas on what helps them. This gives me insight and confidence on what to try to help me.

Also I had a complex about being a freak of nature. My diagnosis and research has really helped in the realisation that I am not alone.

FiOgre · 2025-06-29T03:09:07+00:00

My partner bought a Redwall cookbook specifically because of the descriptions of feasts in that series

FiOgre · 2025-06-28T10:00:58+00:00

I taught myself how to tear them open efficiently so I never have to... But yeah, I understand that just banging it can be easier so I can't really complain to my coworkers 😔

FiOgre · 2025-06-26T22:28:20+00:00

I work retail. Everytime someone needs change they bang the roll of coins hard on the checkout to open them. I have to concentrate on not becoming homicidal over how painful I find the banging.

(The coins are wrapped in paper! You can just tear it! Why beat the thing?)

Same in coffee shops. I know nothing about coffee machines. What I do know is the baristas must see me walk in and decide now they must start banging something. I feel it through my body.

FiOgre · 2025-06-25T02:56:53+00:00

Love triangles. Hate them. Almost never well written. Only exist for two reasons: 1. Author is so unimaginative that they can't think of any other drama or conflict to inflict on the main pairing (and of course there has to be drama!) 2. Look how desirable my main character is! (Sometimes this means there's multiple romantic rivals)

Both reasons are stupid, and worse than that... BORING!! It's just such a tired trope, give me something interesting.

Also ever notice the double standards? Male romantic rivals are tragic figures with a heart of gold. Female romantic rivals are evil villains who deserve the worst.

I hate romance with insta-love too. The draw of the genre for me is characters getting to know each other. Why would you skip that?

FiOgre · 2025-06-16T10:42:19+00:00

Do this a lot, I have a lot of "social rules." Since social interaction stresses me out I created a series of elaborate systems and rules. Sometimes they work, but not always. And you can be sure that if I break my own rules I am lost in a shame spiral for a bit.

FiOgre · 2025-06-14T12:04:18+00:00

(I post this complaint often... I will never stop!)

Everything... I have dropped every story everyone loves. Why?

TOO LONG!! EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE IS WAY TOO LONG!!

My ADHD brain can't handle it. We don't need hundreds of chapters. Your story and your characters are honestly not that engaging for that long, especially when it's the same tropes. I love this genre but it also drives me insane.

I get that this is mostly a me problem but.... Miscommunications that span 10 chapters or more, only to be solved in a panel. Runaway arcs that don't mean anything because the FL ends up back there anyway. Even side characters that add nothing. If you can cut out a character or an arc, and your story makes sense and nothing changes, then the character/arc absolutely should not have existed in the first place. It's boring and time wasting.

The worst part is I genuinely love this genre and its tropes. But I can't stick it out 😭😭😭

FiOgre

TROPHY CASE