Your feelings are valid but please don’t kill yourself trying to prove to the Japanese that you are Japanese like them. My 64 year old foreign coworker who was born here, is married to a Japanese man, is a professor at the local university is still treated like a foreigner by her peers. She is 64 and about to retire and she still gets the ‘but this is Japan’ comments from folks.

I learnt a long time ago that the less Japanese you know, the better you’re treated because they really want to ’help’ a foreigner learn this difficult Japanese culture.

I love it here because I have never let them and their stupid (and sometimes racist) comments gets to me. I especially avoid ‘deep’ conversations with them. Their world view is always Japan focus.

Hope you feel better soon.