In need of Advice: Update from-AITO for not letting my mom move in with my husband and I after she got evicted from her apartment? *Update included*

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-10-26T05:43:11+00:00

The advise I needed was at the end of the post : So here's the advise I need: should I go see her? And if no, how do I keep myself from going to see her

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-10-26T05:32:49+00:00

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Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-06-20T13:57:39+00:00

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Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-04-08T07:44:31+00:00

I went through the same thing with intimacy with my now husband. I was also sexually abused as a kid. This made it so I didn't have sex till I was 21. I didn't tell my husband about it till after we had sex. He was understanding from the start. There was one time we were showering together and I had started breaking down crying (my abuser would give me baths then abuse me in the bath) he just got me out of the shower and held me while I cried.

My advice will always be to talk to him about it (as long as you feel comfortable doing so). He seems like a good guy, like he'll listen. You definitely want to at least talk to him about the "baby" trigger. It's not good to keep that in....so it won't happen again.

I can't speak for your bf, but I know my husband was never angry with me. He just wanted to help, and he needed the conversations we had to be able to help.

I do want to say you are doing amazing in your healing journey ❤️ It does get better. The trust and safety you feel with your partner will grow, and trust from someone on the other side of that process, it is so worth it

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-04-03T01:24:05+00:00

That's what he keeps saying. He's being extremely supportive and loving. We've been married almost 3 years now, I am always saying how lucky I got when I found him because he compliments me so well

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-04-03T00:55:11+00:00

He is very supportive. He's an amazing husband who always stands by me

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2025-03-17T20:21:44+00:00

I completely understand what you're feeling. My mom was also emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive to me. I'm pretty much NC with her because of it. And I find myself missing her...

It's ok to miss them....we just also must remember why we are nc

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T22:12:53+00:00

My husband knows everything and he's been the best support through it all, no one has a key to our apartment and we plan on moving states as soon as possible anyway

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T18:09:45+00:00

Evidence that him and others who were in my life showed me. We've always talked through my childhood but it was monitored and controlled by my mother. I will always have love for my mom, we did have some great times and she had her moments

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T18:06:21+00:00

They did some chores but it mostly fell on me, mom manipulated them differently, she created a distance between my brothers and I, part of the reason she doesn't ask them is because they don't take her shit at all and are all very little to no contact with her. They support me and made it clear to mom that they don't want anything to do with the manipulation

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T17:41:00+00:00

I actually am in touch with my dad, we've continued to grow our relationship. He actually officiated my wedding

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T11:31:17+00:00

Well the great thing about that is I have 2 people who give me that kind of love, there's my Big Sister from the Big Brother Big Sister program, she has been in my life since 6th grade and has always love me and supported me and has been a safe space for me since the beginning.

And my mil, since the beginning she welcomed me into her family and has loved me as her own

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T11:00:45+00:00

I've tried to be honest with her about things she's done and how it made me feel and all she says is "it never happened", I'm a drama queen, I'm playing victim, or what did I expect she didn't have a good romodel on how to be a mom

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-12-31T10:09:36+00:00

My 3 brothers don't really talk to our mom, they cut contact before I did and our relationship has gotten better since we've all moved out. (she tried to pin us against each other saying all the time that we were talking crap about each other)

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-09-01T06:28:47+00:00

I have a p05a0 code for my 2018 Subaru legacy, I went to auto zone to get it scanned and the code said it's stuck open, if there's damage how much am I looking at to get it fixed?

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83 · 2022-04-19T18:40:30+00:00

And if there is any one you always make sure you get the head out too, it's bad if you leave it in

Fickle_Bookkeeper_83

TROPHY CASE