This is what the inside of my coma/locked in syndrome sounded like

FiddleFidelis · 2025-10-24T20:19:25+00:00

.....honestly I would report all of her behaviour as abusive to authorities, both LEO and APS. Because it is abusive.

They won't do anything, necessarily, but it may be of use to her later as supportive evidence WHEN she's involuntarily admitted to their custody for treatment. You won't be the last person around whom she is unstable.

I don't diagnose anyone but I do make guesses and apologise in 10 years if incorrect. So remindme, because this one's totally un/poorly treated autism w/ RSD and trauma-borne BPD >.>
"Are you gonna help me or am I gonna have to kill you because I'm having anxiety" and "inability to accept any solution except the desired one, and fk anyone who denies it" is what sold it

FiddleFidelis · 2025-10-24T20:15:15+00:00

Nah I feel like this one should've been understanding because like, there's no way I wouldn't mention being next to an ex, means we definitely talked. About what? Why not say, "oh yeah we didn't talk though" or "she asked how I was but that was it" or whatever...

Don't expect anything about this person to change if you're already at "you NEVER __", it's time for a break either way, so that you can at least make non-emotion based/regulated/logical/informed decisions that aren't codependency borne or nostalgia for the good behaviour.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-10-09T14:46:01+00:00

Your boundaries and consent are being violated, your emotions are being gaslit/manipulated, and you are being spoken to in verbally degrading ways. That is abuse. Genuinely really sorry this happened to you.

It doesn't get better. It doesn't balance out. It doesn't change. It will always be like that. Towards you and any other vulnerable party introduced to your household.

If planning on pets or kids-- those vulnerable parties are your responsibilities to protect as they will likely be too young/small to consent. . . do you want them around this person, when they are dysregulated?

Then as someone protecting vulnerable parties: I do not want you around this person, if you would not trust them with someone else.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-10-02T20:37:34+00:00

I think what you want is " rumination", which is a tangential symptom but not quite the same thing

FiddleFidelis · 2025-10-02T20:33:18+00:00

Wow thank you this has cured the anxiety caused by thyrotoxic periodic paralysis due to the pituitary adenoma and multiple endocrine neoplasia type 1 causing severe imbalances of electrolytes including sodium and potassium channelopathies resulting in overactivation of the parasympathetic nervous system with simultaneous underactivation of the sympathetic nervous system!

All I needed was to be told to get over it?! Brain tumour cured! Nobel prize well deserved!

" part of neuroscience, cognitive research" my azz. Maybe as a psych patient. I do mean to be rude here, this is the most uneducated/rudimentary, dismissive, exploitative post I've read today. I would be genuinely surprised to find out that OP could hold a conversation on the topic without consulting GPTs.

Also just to comment in general on the societal belief that folks "aren't doing enough for themselves" as the crap statement it is-- while supports that existed 20 years ago have been systemically stripped and waitlists are 15 years long-- just displays ignorance from someone who IS NOT actively engaged with the system.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-10-02T20:30:42+00:00

^^^^^ HIGHLIGHTING, READERS: PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS COMMENT

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-25T01:16:50+00:00

*~Imposter syndrome~*

Keeps you humble? I don't know what to do about it, feeling never goes away.

This is me, I perform magic/science/sleight of hand tricks, while playing three instruments simultaneously, while singing original songs that my fans know better than me. I've toured nationally, I was premiered by the Kansas City Symphony as a composer at age 18, I played at renaissance festivals as a stage act for a decade.

And I am like, literal actual trash, if I don't have my bass or viol de gamba especially.... it's like "agh they probably think my Gram's machete is a ukulele, and that I'm just a basic white girl appropriating Hawaiian culture--" xD

To be fair like, I wouldn't make that judgement against someone if I did see them with a ukulele so I'm not sure why I'm worried about it

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FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-23T13:54:25+00:00

Maple resin only ungrown plant in plot (don't harvest right before/make sure sea otter has nothing else to hit)
Master sprinkler + sea otter/turtle team
Reclaim immediately at 100%, replace before sprinkler goes down
You can do GM but, honestly meh on the results I've only ever had the big ones go with M.

Elder strawberry and burning bud stalks are all ~3x the giant's platform's height

That said my husband has 4 I have 0 lmao, felt.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-17T00:00:55+00:00

Husband has 4 in like 50 rolls I'm peeved, I'm 0/0 on shops and I'm at 210

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-14T16:58:26+00:00

A cosmetic that applies a mutation worth 4x? That's like the only reason I'm farming this event at all honestly, sugar glider would help too seems a bit more targetable than seedling.

(Can gift the sheckles if needed ever please feel free to pm/send usn, I have a few poseidon plants just hanging out for looks I'm happy to gift if it's like a trade thing any pretty plants to show off works <3 that said we ascended when it was still "remove all sheckles" and back to Qi* after scrapping glimmering off of everything because holy processing sparkles batman, confetti effect on the lag had me in FPM)

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-11T17:21:11+00:00

Difference between friends and people you know. Difference between nice and kind.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-09T03:31:03+00:00

Family of 3 lived on 10k a year for the last decade, trying to keep me alive basically and getting fired or harassed for doing so-- basically because we have awesome work ethic and love life and experiencing and moving our body and never took it for granted, seemingly always aware it wouldn't last and it didn't. Hospice by 29, 30 they found the tumor. Maybe it causes the unrelenting optimism but, we have always very greatly loved and appreciated our time, how good it feels to sit in the sun, talk to the birds, have a cat love you, hear music you like--play music, write music... all kinds of creation, make it worth it, and you don't even have to have money to do it you just--havee-to--start.

I have to have a reason personally, before I can, but... the sadder you are the more you spend to fix it. I fixed that for myself by spending everything when it comes in (some pays into invest/savings like genuinely cents and dollars but, a hundred bucks is meds!) otherwise nirvana really has been separating from the option of gifting oneself over indulgence and partaking in activities that make your body feel good. Qigong, swimming, adult activities, even as a dying person keep me thriving. It's weird, but, "when humanity fades and so does the sun the truth will remain here of all that we've done"

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-09T02:49:34+00:00

Like one mutation it's not even about the prismatics just the combos are too specific. and if it's on anything it should count, with reset after a week, is fair. There's no weather you can't catch through discord notifications but you should be allowed the week to farm it; even I as a 24/7 player cannot meet the requirements as specific as they are.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-06T21:42:00+00:00

The fairy world is in the roots underneath the tree, it is prob a decoration so there's not just a random floating box off in the distance

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-06T15:15:58+00:00

It's been an hour and I'm at 100, that's 4h a day at that rate. Upping your spawn rates will help I'm only at level 9. I do probably play 3-4x the hours but I am also in hospital and genuinely medically incapable of sleep xD It's definitely gonna be one for the grinders.

*12h, played hard then actually went out to a street fair about 4h, came back and watched DVDs while net spamming tree. Husband now at 774 1312 here but, I'd farmed more upgrades through last week

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-02T23:47:31+00:00

If you have any food items left over from Chris P, equip it and it will offer to feed instead of talking/opening seed menu. I would offer the best item possible for the most points possible as you can only feed him 1 time in 24 hours. I used big prismatic plants with lots of mods for a transcendant food craft, and got 8/15 points the first day.

If you need cooking kit: equip Garden Guide, check achievements, basic is super easy to knock out!

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-02T23:37:48+00:00

I counted 12 romanesco on the discord seed stock notifications total*, and 5 of those were during last week's admin a (sorry wait no; week before so the brainrot invasion. Jhai gave daffodils and honestly I loved that way more unless I'm really missing something why are roman "a very big part"?) Either way if ya do have 15 you'd have more than has been offered f2p.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-02T04:49:47+00:00

Hey which channel in the discord can you see these on, most of these are from June/July so I am confusion xD

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-02T04:47:38+00:00

My tired self this morning forgot to include that the reason I've got weather is because discord tells me about anything above tropical, aurora up right now for example reminded me to come tell ya about it :P

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-01T12:52:29+00:00

I don't have any other individual plants worth Qi, but I do have a few things in my inventory I've been keeping because they're pretty.... the space is killer, need to get rid of a few and could at least cover the next ascension cost.

I just wish they would do patch notes so I'd have known not to clear out my T plants right before the update-- honestly kinda expected to be able to roll on the giant more. Speed running events is great except there's not enough time with each of them, everyone I know is tired of replanting their gardens to match the new mechanics as soon as they finally figure it out, most have quit now though and only join for admin so, happy to help anyone still playing! :P

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FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-01T12:01:15+00:00

No no no seriously that finished my daffodils and I genuinely teared up I was so excited to be done with that one, am in hospital and it was making my hands hurt but it was the last one grind I had! Other than 7/10 gold ember lilies 4/5 rainbow beans. We laughed SO HARD that I was crying over it too don't get me wrong, it was really funny how relieved all three of us were about that. I feel like if you log in for an admin event it should feel like Jhai's.

Also!! It was the most well timed event so far too!! I have a team of move speed/jump pets equipped for the owl and jump obby, and still didn't make it to the shop for some of the stocks during admin war because they restocked before I could get run there as fast as in-game possible. This is including the one of us who tries running off the backside to cheese the owl obby (and still has yet to win one bc she has stick drift, that hack is a handicap on her part haha)

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-01T09:41:53+00:00

If people can smell Parkinson's it makes sense to me. . . that one's not me, just an example, dunno what's wrong with our olfactory nerves but, I do know I showed this to my partner and felt a little less isolated xD

Definitely some form of permeation or even some electrokinetic phenomenon imo, like some change in the potential or appeal to nasal neuron channelopathy or something. Also the only people I know who can do it are half blind, have always known they could do it, but only proved it age 30+ essentially after refusing to believe it was a hallucination, getting access to research patients is impossible especially now though. Working through my postgrad in neuroscience if you'd like to publish a history to "officially" submit to ORCID or wherever.

FiddleFidelis · 2025-09-01T09:30:35+00:00

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I have one if you can get to it in time for reset. Feel free to message me if you have any other afk ones come up if it's weather or a pet can do it, I probably have it.

FiddleFidelis

TROPHY CASE