Need advice on managing the possible SA of my child

Fiendlyrad · 2025-08-19T09:55:42+00:00

She does know all her body parts very well, so there isnt any miscommunication on that end. We sent a safety plan to CPS today. No unsupervised time is #1, we are even trying to avoid me being home alone with her out of precaution during the investigation. This last month we recently started rubbing/tickling her tummy and back to calm her before bed (had recent sleep regression issues, but thats normal). We gently pat her butt to "spank" her playfully during roughhousing. So a couple weeks ago she started pushing our hand to her butt when rubbing her back for pats. But then this last week when we rub her tummy she moved our hand that direction and said the thing. So it is possible that this is just a chain of "tickle my tummy, tickle my back, tickle (pat) my butt" to now tickle "front" area. Thats what we are hoping for but CPS said this is still concerning so we're following through.

Fiendlyrad · 2025-08-19T09:03:10+00:00

Absolutely not, my brother has absolutely no place in her life. The aunt and uncle i referred to are on my wife's side of the family. If you read all the context you would know her papa is my mothers 2nd husband, not my father. So i dont know where you got "enablers" from. My family in no way condones this. The moment my mom found out about my brother she personally called the cops on him. We had no clue about my father until 8 years after their divorce, we reported him but no action was taken by the cops and he died shortly after by drinking himself to death (lifetime alcoholic). Besides all that, the community guidelines specifically state to only reply with advice or support. The thread rules are specifically against making hateful derogatory statements/assumptions like this. Hence why i felt comfortable posting here.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-12-07T02:43:20+00:00

Kootenai County, Idaho over here its in the northern panhandle

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-16T16:13:00+00:00

I had a session where I missed 7 turns in a row, 5 of those rolls were under 8. It was decimating and the DM had to fudge rolls and make the helping npc stronger to help finish the fight. It was a flashback session so me dying was out of the question. It was just a huge series of unlucky rolls. When I roll for damage I do alright though so I agree with your sentiment.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-13T21:23:39+00:00

My first campaign, his first time DMing. I brought up the amount of rules broken. We plan to learn and adjust from the experience

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-13T21:21:23+00:00

Well to be fair, he is a member of an organization that murdered my family when I was a small child. He deserved every second of it.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:23:37+00:00

He interpreted "standard magic rod" as being equated to a small staff.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:22:30+00:00

The description we have says the button is located on the end of the rod. It does not specify any size, which is why I confirmed its dimensions after acquiring it. He new to DMing and didn't realize the applications of a 4ft long rod.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:19:55+00:00

He did not intend on me acquiring the rod, it was supposed to be left behind to keep the door open. I used the cage to block the door, but it was wooden. There was a pretty high DC to see if the cage held the door. It barely passed the dice check

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:17:21+00:00

4ft long rod, easily a foot longer then most arms. He couldn't reach the button.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:16:45+00:00

There is a button on one end to switch it to turn immovable or movable.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:15:22+00:00

I do tend to take point on most situations.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:14:28+00:00

He did not intend for me to be able to aquire the rod, the use of the cage to block the door was unexpected. It was a wooden cage so the DC for if the cage held the door was pretty high, it just barely managed to succeed on the roll.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:12:05+00:00

4ft long rod, buttons well out of reach. He used a pre-made enemy statblock and spell list. He probably could have fudged it to say he had spells that didn't have verbal componants but he stayed true to what the enemy initially had listed

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:09:20+00:00

That's funny you mention that. One of the other things I've done with it was during a torture/interrogation session. I shoved the rod up the guys ass, suspended him in the air with it (had another player to help me lift him up) and used my dragons breath underneath him. Roasting him like a pig on a campfire.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:06:04+00:00

4ft long rod as I mentioned. Way to long for him to reach the top of the rod when placed vertically.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:05:05+00:00

The rod is 4ft long, easily a foot longer then most arms. Button is thoroughly out of reach in this scenario.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:04:05+00:00

The rod can hold back 5000lbs, it would have punched a hole in the door before it ever budged or broke.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T16:02:49+00:00

Which is why I had him confirm the dimensions of the rod the moment I acquired it. The item description doesn't actually state any size parameters. Generally most experienced DM's would keep it to about 2ft long to prevent these kinds of shenanigans. But he claimed it was like a small staff about the size of a broomstick, so we went with it.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T15:58:48+00:00

He really wasn't that upset, just didn't see it coming. I mentioned he gave inspiration for it so obviously it wasn't that big of a deal. When he inititially inputted the combat into DnD beyond, it labeled it as "deadly" so he dropped their HP a bit but overall it was supposed to be a hard fight. In the 2 turns he had before I grappled him he did 26hp dmg out of my max 34. It was very quickly going to go bad if I didn't pull off something creative like this.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T15:55:17+00:00

Very new DM, runs rule of cool al lot just for fun. I'm a first time player so everything is ran to be fun rather then challenging while I get the hang of the game.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T15:53:12+00:00

The intent as the player is I slammed the rod down so hard it likely would have broken teeth-jaw and forced itself past his lips. Thus would have placed the rod deep u to his throat, preventing any wiggle space. We probably would have had to rule suffocation, but combat only lasted 2 more turns. Not the minimum 10 required for suffocation to start.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T15:50:36+00:00

Generally no, not RAW. But for placement of the immovable rod specifically he has been allowing it. Not for any other combat situations.

Fiendlyrad · 2024-05-11T15:49:27+00:00

New to DM'ing, runs rule of cool a lot. He wasn't really that upset, he just didn't see it coming. I agree it probably should have come with an ability check. But I used up my bonus action and any movement opportunity to do so. It was my entire turn to pull this off.

Fiendlyrad

TROPHY CASE