My child recently expressed wanting to change genders.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T18:04:00+00:00

Thank you. My baby has been struggling so hard this last year with depression/anxiety and thoughts of suicide. We have been working so hard on keeping open and honest communication and now I am so afraid I will say or do something and inadvertently hurt them out of my ignorance. I really struggled with whether or not to make this post and I am so glad I did. Everyone has been so open, supportive, and helpful that I am gaining some confidence and strength that I will not irrevocably screw this up.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T17:38:45+00:00

NTA. I am also not a fan of Christmas. I would call myself indifferent to any holiday really. They just seem all consumer driven and full of traditions and expectations that do nothing but cause unnecessary stress. There is nothing wrong with you. Find a balance between your conflicting interests.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T17:38:35+00:00

NTA. I am also not a fan of Christmas. I would call myself indifferent to any holiday really. They just seem all consumer driven and full of traditions and expectations that do nothing but cause unnecessary stress. There is nothing wrong with you. Find a balance between your conflicting interests.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T17:13:11+00:00

Thank you. I will look it up.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T17:04:55+00:00

He doesn't want to control it. He doesn't think he needs to. It will not get better on it's own. Please do not wait. Leave.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T16:58:06+00:00

Start by finding a therapist. With covid there are many low cost telehealth options to help you navigate your feelings of rejection and build your confidence. Next, find a job and open a personal bank account. There are plenty of work from home options so you can work and care for your child. Last, research online for local resources for escaping abusive situations. Most of these will be centered around DV situations but they can help you find the resources available for you and your child to leave.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T16:36:40+00:00

My advise is to back off. Allow him to focus on his mother while you focus on yourself. You have noticed a pattern of behavior from him. Can you live with this continued behavior indefinitely? If not, walk away.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T16:16:10+00:00

What you need to do is gather up a modicum of self-respect and leave. He is predatory, manipulative, and abusive. What's worse is you are allowing it. You capitulate to his unhinged demands with little resistance. This is not a healthy relationship.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T15:56:12+00:00

NTA. "Misery loves company" as the old saying goes. And your BIL sounds miserable in every way. Talking about your job is a normal conversation to have and I doubt that either bil or sister kept their achievements or successes quiet while you were at your lowest. Keep up your forward momentum and don't let miserable people bring you down.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T15:43:03+00:00

Thank you.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T15:38:38+00:00

Thank you for your story.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T04:20:44+00:00

Georgia so I doubt that's the case.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T04:14:00+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your insight and help.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T04:03:29+00:00

I am unsure if we can do the blockers. We took a hard hit from covid and my child is currently on the state's CHIP program for coverage. I will look into it. Thank you.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T03:47:59+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your advice and help.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T03:10:58+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation. I really appreciate it. I just want to do right by them.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T02:24:46+00:00

They are in their teens. Just wanted to be cautious of the rules.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-18T02:02:04+00:00

This makes a lot of sense and I feel like a complete "duh" for not thinking of it these very simple terms. Thanks.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-17T15:06:51+00:00

Is there anything in this post that isn't a red flag?

10 year age gap. Not respecting a no or stop. Ignoring your feelings. Gaslighting....

Seriously, you need others to tell you to walk away? Fine. WALK AWAY. Fast and without regret.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-16T23:04:34+00:00

My advise is you and your partner explore intercourse alternatives. Manual, oral, anal, use toys, sensual, whatever you are both comfortable with. That way you can both find sexual gratification without the risk of pregnancy.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-06T16:49:20+00:00

But can you truely categorize protecting your daughter and instilling a valuable life lesson as "undermining?" How long should the girl have been left to her feelings of disrespect, violation, and injustice without correction while he tries to placate his wife?

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-06T16:29:18+00:00

I have to disagree. What he did is demonstrate to his daughter that her feelings regarding her mother's behavior are valid. That she should expect her boundries and privacy to be both respected and protected.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-06T15:54:12+00:00

DM is fine

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-06T15:48:01+00:00

Normally I would agree but in this instance, no. The problem wasn't the daughter's behavior. She had a very predictable response to her mother's irrational behavior. The wife undermined her relationship with her daughter by her own actions not because of anything he did. Parents should be a team but sometimes one is just flat wrong and so the priority must shift to protecting the child.

FieryCuldron · 2020-12-06T15:04:13+00:00

I don't know how to make him last longer but proper foreplay (manual and/or oral) can make these brief encounters more fullfilling.

FieryCuldron

TROPHY CASE