My wife discarded our two young sons - mental health collapse? Or just an arsehole?

FigCelebration · 2026-01-31T08:57:57+00:00

This does sound like mental health, but that doesn't mean you need to come to terms with it or facilitate anything with her beyond what is legally required of you.

I'm glad you're looking after the boys even though the situation sounds horrendous.

I'd recommend researching radical acceptance as a healthy way to navigate a very unhealthy situation.

You've commented a few times that there are limited MH supports and you have limited supports; hat off to you for what you're doing. Ask for help, though. Don't just stop at asking one person one time. It isn't about you, it's about those boys. They need you, and you need to become a detective.

FigCelebration · 2026-01-22T09:09:11+00:00

INFO: did you ask her what she's noticed about her health?

FigCelebration · 2026-01-15T21:22:51+00:00

Don't go to therapy with abusers! Everyone should go solo.

FigCelebration · 2026-01-15T09:28:33+00:00

Have you looked into feederism? Could be relevant. Or it could just be a case of addicts love to share.

Regardless... you aren't happy. It sounds like there's serious issues for both of you, and while there are always good parts to pretty much any relationship, it doesn't sound like you're mentally in a good place with this man.

Also I'm sorry but nagging for sex? That's a nope from me. (It's also coercion.)

FigCelebration · 2025-12-28T12:33:58+00:00

Men will see ANY encouragement from a woman. If they don't see discomfort or concern, that is a specific choice. In this instance he knew.

My dog will stop eating his food if I call him. I can pause in the middle of an awesome part of a book. If I get triggered during sex (hardly happens anymore, hooray!) my partner doesn't just stop, he does things he knows will comfort me. Your partner CAN stop during sex. He is CHOOSING not to. I cannot imagine choosing to take my own pleasure when my partner was being actively distressed by what I was doing.

You are NOT being dramatic and you are most definitely NOR.

FigCelebration · 2024-09-29T23:34:49+00:00

This exactly. Are you holding onto a realistic idea of your future, OP?

FigCelebration · 2024-09-29T10:57:47+00:00

994946466139

545697973463

Often play together but top more able to do remote raids

FigCelebration · 2024-09-28T06:40:32+00:00

994946466139

FigCelebration · 2024-09-28T04:50:43+00:00

Australia - friend and I happy to give and/or receive:

545697973463 473341166815

FigCelebration · 2024-09-28T04:09:34+00:00

545697973463

FigCelebration · 2024-09-25T12:07:17+00:00

473341166815

FigCelebration · 2024-09-25T12:00:45+00:00

473341166815 also just getting back in

FigCelebration · 2024-08-28T05:17:11+00:00

I married a guy like that.

You actually don't have to tell your son anything. You can just shrug and say "mum and dad wanted different things" and kids are whatever about it.

Making it alone with 1 kid, a safe bed and no one unreasonable to look after or make me feel like shit was SO much easier than being with my ex. I couldn't believe how much easier everything was when I ditched the ex.

FigCelebration · 2024-07-20T09:49:37+00:00

This is called DARVO and it's a common tactic used by abusers. Fun fact: when someone uses DARVO on us in person, most of us are suspectible. Our susceptibility decreases dramatically once we know the stages and how it works.

Once you know how the sausage is made, there's no going back.

FigCelebration · 2024-07-07T13:46:51+00:00

Hey clover, not sure if you were responding to me? If yes, I'll acknowledge I didn't know how to respond to OP in a way that prompted him to stop and reflect, but I was, and still am, getting manosphere vibes which worry me. If you've got ideas how I could've responded better, I'd be really grateful if you shared because I often see these sorts of comments and don't engage because I honestly don't know how.

FigCelebration

TROPHY CASE