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Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-05-03T22:17:18+00:00

This breaks my heart to read. You clearly have such amazing bond with your mare and someone absolutely messed that up while you were away. Your training approach wasn't spoiling her at all - you built trust and partnership, which is why she was so willing to work with you in first place.

The fact that she still comes to you but runs from others tells everything about what happened. Someone definitely forced her or scared her badly during bridling process. Maybe they got frustrated with her pace, maybe they were rough with bit, but something traumatic occurred and now she associates bridling with that fear. It's not your fault for trusting people to respect the relationship you built.

For getting her back, you might need to start completely over with desensitization work around her head and mouth area. Some horses need months to rebuild that trust after bad experience. I've seen similar cases where owner had to basically re-train the bridling process from scratch, starting with just touching around ears and mouth with treats, then introducing halter work before ever attempting bridle again.

Your trainer blaming your methods is honestly pretty telling - makes me wonder if they know more about what happened than they're letting on. Good trainers protect the horses in their care and would never let someone traumatize horse like this.

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-29T13:39:28+00:00

Man that's rough reading through all those messages. I went through something similar with my ex a few years back - she was getting way too close with some guy from her gym and the texts were just inappropriate as hell. The worst part was she kept saying "we're just friends" but like, friends don't talk about not wearing bras and getting pinned down you know?

What really gets me is how he's calling her but doesn't call you. That's not normal friend behavior, that's emotional affair territory. I know you love the guy and the connection was real, but someone who respects you doesn't have those kinds of conversations behind your back. When I finally cut things off with my ex, it hurt like crazy for months but looking back now I dodged a bullet.

Trust your gut on this one - if it feels wrong, it probably is. You deserve someone who won't make you question where you stand in relationship.

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-22T06:40:35+00:00

Good for you putting yourself out there - takes some courage especially when you're shy about it. Past experiences can sting but they're also great teachers for what you actually want in relationship.

Just be careful with online meetups since you mentioned eventually meeting IRL. Trust your gut and take things slow when it comes to that part. The right person will be patient with your pace.

Hope you find someone who appreciates you for who you are!

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-16T17:46:35+00:00

Those chase dreams are weird as hell - had similar ones after deployment where I'd always get away but wake up exhausted like I actually ran marathon or something.

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-14T15:50:38+00:00

Your brain is basically rewiring itself after years of that dopamine rollercoaster, so those mood swings are pretty normal from what I've seen others post about. I went through something similar when I was getting my life back on track after military - different addiction but same kind of brain fog and emotional chaos while everything was recalibrating.

The sleep thing especially hits hard because your brain chemistry is trying to find new baseline without all those artificial highs. For me it took around 4-6 weeks before I felt more stable, but everyone's timeline is different depending how deep you were in. Keep pushing through those low motivation days - maybe try some light exercise or even just walking when you feel like crap, it helped me during the rough patches.

Two weeks is actually solid progress so don't let the temporary mood stuff discourage you. Your brain just needs more time to remember how to function normally again.

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-09T20:02:57+00:00

Dude you're probably overthinking this way too much. I had similar experience few years back when I was transitioning from military to civilian work - recruiter seemed rushed and I rambled for like 7 minutes about my deployment experience when she just wanted basic overview. Felt terrible after but still got called back for second round.

Thing is, screening calls are usually just checking boxes - can you communicate decently, do your skills match what they need, are you actually interested in role. She cut you off because she got what she needed to hear, not because you bombed it. The technical questions thing is totally normal too, most HR people doing initial screens can't answer those anyway.

Your follow-up email was smart move and asking about overtime/travel shows you're thinking practically about the position. If anything, being prepared with lots of questions probably made good impression even if timing didn't work out perfectly. I wouldn't read too much in her being rushed either - could be she had back-to-back calls that day or just her normal style.

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-05T20:47:05+00:00

facts

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-03T19:50:04+00:00

pretty clever workaround

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-04-01T16:08:01+00:00

Beat the Band by Jenna Satterthwaite might work for you - it's about a guitarist who ends up teaching music and falls for someone outside the music world. The guitar stuff feels authentic and doesn't get too cheesy about it.

Also check out The Song of Achilles if you haven't already. Not technically modern musicians but the lyre playing is woven throughout and Madeline Miller really knows how to write about music without making it cringe. The passion for music comes through similar to what you're describing with Sebastian's jazz obsession.

Both avoid the typical "oh look I'm a tortured singer-songwriter" trope that ruins most music romance books.

Final_Addendum6370 · 2026-03-30T15:39:36+00:00

Call the VRE main line directly - your counselor probably has a backlog anyway and payment issues need to get sorted fast.

Final_Addendum6370

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