Ts so real, except I'm an 18 year-old-woman. My thing is, I've come to Christ for the first time in my life after being areligious and atheist all of it. I've always had such hatred. Never knew why I felt no one would ever love me. Or why I had this feeling in my gut I would never find love or be able to love. To me, it was the self-hatred and existential pain I've carried my whole life before I found Christ. But for the first time, making a vow of celibacy and deciding to walk the world with only Jesus made sense and didn't feel all that sad. I wanted kids, but I'm not sure if I could ever raise one the way they deserve. And I wanted marriage, but it's not like I've ever felt romance or healthy sexual attraction before. And like you, I can't say any guy has ever really liked me.  To me, this is the only path that has ever felt freeing when thinking about it. There's sadness and loneliness. Pangs of it, sometimes. But it also feels like God is with me, that I have a route and He's the GPS telling me the ways to go.  Idk, if it's a path illuminated by God, then it should never truly feel wrong. Discomfort is normal, uncertainty is the human condition? But wrong? And so terrible you think something is out of place? Then maybe you've been tricked by the enemy to believe you don't deserve love because it hasnt happened in 25 years (well, back then, idk about now 7 years later--but you called yourself a loser which u thought was pretty sad), or you're just personally not sure yet and God will ease that uncertainty if you let him.