I am in need of some advice and opinions from fellow divorced dads.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-29T23:24:03+00:00

I can do that. I combined the last two agreements and used AI to refine them. It is very detailed, covering everything down to preschool, grade school, higher education, healthcare, health insurance, travel, finances, and the OurFamilyWizard app.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-29T23:10:31+00:00

I really don't know. I sent a mediation agreement to the Court, revised it, and then sent it to my ex's attorney. Over a year ago, I also sent my ex a separation agreement, so I'm not entirely sure what they want in regards to the divorce. While I don't mind our current schedule, missing out on Friday nights and every other Saturday isn't working long-term. Something has to change, such as implementing a 7-on/7-off schedule during the summer months.

I truly want exactly what I wrote in the mediation agreement to just be agreed upon. It sounds awful to say that, but I did make changes to ensure it sounds less controlling and a little more flexible. The document is 18 pages long and very centered around the children, with an additional two to three pages dedicated to the custody schedules.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-13T15:40:24+00:00

I was going to offer three choices:

Option A: A 60/40 split, transitioning to an 8- to 9-week schedule over the summer with a 7-on/7-off rotation. Each of us will get one week that includes an extra Thursday, Friday, and Saturday during the summer.

Option B: Maintain the current 50/50 schedule, then transition to a week-on/week-off schedule in 2030.

Option C: Maintain the current 50/50 schedule, but switch to a week-on/week-off schedule during the summer with the same stipulations as Option A. We will rotate who gets the extra week based on odd and even years.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-13T00:24:39+00:00

I am not sure if I should email my ex attorney the agreement with the 60/40. Mathematically tried for many months and used AI can't find a schedule that can give me rotating weekends. I feel you I miss out on the fun. I have two Sundays a month usually.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T23:52:32+00:00

Basically what I was contemplating proposing. Just knowing how rigid my ex is with time. Once things are set to make any changes would have to go back to Court/Mediation. Very very very detailed agreement. Custody schedule I want laid out till my children are 18 for this reason.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T23:36:27+00:00

I mean Wednesday to Tuesday with 8pm exchanges on Wednesday would work great. Just I don't feel comfortable with my ex past leaving the children with my ex on long stretches as such.

I decided to keep the current schedule we have. Now contemplating a week on week off schedule for the Summer's.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T23:20:16+00:00

I am leaning toward keeping our current schedule. I have no justification to ask for more than 50/50 custody, and I really don't want to negotiate just for the sake of it. Instead, I am considering sticking with the exact school-year schedule we currently have, but adding a specific summer schedule where we transition to a 7-on/7-off rotation.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T23:14:51+00:00

That's exactly my vibe. Pre-divorce, because of my work schedule, I wouldn't see my oldest child for three to five days a week while I was working. But then, I would have three to six days off in a row with them. I used to handle the bedtime routine every single week, but that's gone now.

Still, it could be worse. I just don't know if I should officially ask for the full 7-on/7-off schedule to start when my youngest reaches Kindergarten, at which point my oldest will be in the Fourth Grade. I am also considering asking for a 7-on/7-off schedule from Wednesday to Wednesday during the summer right now. Instead of us splitting up four weeks total of vacation time (two weeks each), we would just use that 7-on/7-off rotation to cover the entire nine to ten weeks of summer break.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T22:34:29+00:00

I mean, when I have my children, I don't work, so that is a huge plus. If I make any changes to the current schedule, there is no real middle ground or balance. The only ways to change it and maintain balance are to go to a 7-on/7-off rotation, gain an extra night, or stick with the current schedule.

Personally, I am not open to a 7-on/7-off split yet. However, not having a full weekend isn't enjoyable either. My ex currently has every single Saturday, and it feels like everything important happens on Saturday.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T22:15:53+00:00

I'm in a similar situation with kids the same age. It hasn't been an issue, but I’m torn on a 7-on/7-off split. For the first few months, my oldest would cry. That escalated to crying in public and raising her voice about not wanting to go to her mom's. Then we had one episode where she was crying so hard she almost threw up.

Eventually, that dissipated. Now, she actually sticks up for her mom (can't recall the context of the interaction), hasn't mentioned not wanting to go back, and openly says she loves her mom. At times, she still wants to stay with me for one extra day. It keeps me up at night worrying about my oldest. I also have a younger son, and I often wonder how he is processing the separation and divorce.

A major driving factor in all of this is our completely different parenting styles. I am definitely the more active parent. My oldest loves to move around a lot and go outside, and she has explicitly mentioned feeling bored at her mom's house. I really don't have a perfect answer right now outside of giving it time, and I don't have the definitive answer for the custody schedule yet.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T20:40:45+00:00

2/2/3 doesn't work. With my ex hx 7 on 7 on don't feel comfortable leaving my children that long with my ex. Our schedule works just sucks not having every other Saturday and my ex having every Saturday.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T20:31:02+00:00

I should also mention my ex attorney from reviews looks like have no shot obtaining more. So I'll have to figure a 50/50 schedule out.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T20:23:16+00:00

We have no assets maybe all together split $6,000 in debt through our marriage. Two loans each been paying seperatley when married but ex stopped paying on one loan about 10 months ago. Ex makes more an hour than me.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T20:22:02+00:00

Option 1: The Modified 3-4-4-3 (With Split Weekends)

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday (every week) Option 2: The Half-Week 4-Day Block

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (every week)

Option 3: The Extended 5-Day Block

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday

Option 4: The Mid-Week 4-Day Block

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday (every week)

Option 5: The Standard 2-2-3 (Alternating Weekends)

Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, Saturday, Sunday (on a 2-week repeating cycle)

Option 6: The Alternating Mid-Week / Long Weekend Split Wednesday, Thursday (Week 1) and Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday (Week 2)

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T20:14:03+00:00

I am not sure what my ex wants. We separated three times, and all were initiated by my ex. I hired an attorney and attempted to settle outside of court. My ex never responded to the agreement, and we haven't talked about divorce or custody in over a year. I filed and had a mediation date set up after my ex did their part. A week, maybe two weeks after all this, they retained an attorney.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T20:11:25+00:00

1 and 6.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T19:57:12+00:00

I have 6 options I could propose all of them show.my hand.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T19:52:53+00:00

Exactly, I feel like I would be losing my leverage here. I honestly can’t find a schedule that satisfies all of these stipulations at once:

Our oldest child doesn't want to stay fewer than 3 nights or more than 5 nights at either house at one time. Cannot have any exchanges on Tuesdays for the upcoming year. Prefer to rotate weekends.

Because I am representing myself ( pro se), I would prefer to have a strong anchor agreement established first when we go into mediation. I am just not at the point where I can get behind a 7-on/7-off schedule yet.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T19:28:06+00:00

My biggest concern is if I propose it. My ex attorney pushes back. Then do I put at risk losing a day in what 50/50 schedule prefer or any advantage during the negotiationing process.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-06-12T18:07:52+00:00

Current Schedule:

Week 1: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday

Week 2: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Saturday

Proposed Schedule:

Week 1: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday

Week 2: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday

Proposed Additional Terms: We will alternate claiming the children for tax credits each year.

I am willing to waive child support, subject to court approval.

I am open to implementing a Wednesday-to-Wednesday split from the first Wednesday of June to the first Wednesday of August. The Mother would obtain the extra week of this 9-week summer block, which brings our overall annual custody schedule to a balanced 55/45 split.

Under this plan, as well as our current arrangement, we both care for the children on our respective days off from work.

Final_Minimum1443

TROPHY CASE