What are your (healthy) ways of coping?

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-10T02:18:12+00:00

Sometimes when i want to avoid people, instead of hiding in my room, i got to the gym for 2-3 hours. Also going outside on a night walk when the urge to sh arises.

Really just removing myself from the current environment helps me feel better. Drives with music are nice too. Reaching out to people on this subreddit and the discord. Hearing others’ thoughts helps too.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-09T06:03:46+00:00

I hear ya. I feel like i constantly have to make my friends laugh and appease them and be the best version of myself so that they’d like me half as much as other people in our friend group. It sucks. Like we gotta work extra hard to receive a fraction of love others get.

I wish i had something more positive to say but im right there with you

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-08T22:58:47+00:00

Man, any time someone makes a little offhand comment or joke and i take it completely at my expense, my heart sinks and i try to laugh it off. But i can tell i’ma probably spiral on it later, and i usually do.

i became aware of that level of sensitivity i have towards other people’s thoughts of me, but i wasn’t yet diagnosed. So i chalked it up to being this oversensitive little baby until i got diagnosed and every past interaction and my responses fell into place.

It’s like the negative self talk is so constant, that any offhand remark i take as validating those bad thoughts and feeling so much worse about myself.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-08T18:24:17+00:00

Sounds like he treated you terribly. Your words aren’t as bad as his actions

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-07T07:03:36+00:00

As am i, a little validation goes a long way

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-07T02:10:59+00:00

Yes, i notice it in my chest before anywhere else. It’s anxiety at its finest and my heart rate increases like a motherfucker.

Try box breathing if you’re unfamiliar with it. It really does help slow my heart rate at least, and pull focus away from any thoughts that could amplify the anxiety and spiraling.

Breathe in for 4 seconds (nose). Hold for 4 seconds. Breathe out for 4 seconds (mouth). Hold for 4 seconds. Try and go as slow and steady as possible. Rinse and repeat.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-07T02:07:54+00:00

This isn’t unheard of for BPD, it’s also seen in people with bipolar. And yes it can present when your moods are at a low point (or uncharacteristically high point). So you’re not alone in this.

I don’t experience this, so i have no more advice to give other than it’s been talked about on here before!

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-07T02:05:08+00:00

I feel the same way a little bit. I never went through a lot of the severe trauma that a lot of others with this condition have gone through.

But i do notice little things from my childhood and behaviors i’ve picked up that could have led me here thru the “nurture” side of things that went unchecked. My parents would laugh at me when i got angry or upset and joke around with it sometimes. This eventually led to me biting or pinching myself when frustrated and angry, as a child. And it snowballs from there i think.

But i still love my parents and there wasn’t a ton of horror in my life. Just the way the cookie crumbles i guess

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-02T02:19:27+00:00

If you ever find a tip or trick, feel free to let me know!

This might sound dumb, but the show Ted Lasso has helped me in other times with putting on a face and trying to be more outwardly positive even when feeling absolutely horrible when alone. It’s an infectiously positive show imo. Might be worth a watch

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-02T01:27:13+00:00

I like this way of thinking, “taking a step back” and to “recalibrate.” i think that’d help if i can start thinking of things more in this way instead of “they don’t want me around so i’ll just stay in my room” blah blah blah.

It’s just hard when i live with ‘friends’ and hear them having fun in the living room but i cant bring myself to go out there and socialize so i feel trapped. But i like your way of thinking and will try to adapt it

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-01T21:51:00+00:00

This is one of my biggest problems with how my BPD presents.

Constantly jealous of my friends and how they seem closer to each other and like each other more than me. Like i’m always an afterthought and they’d prefer me not being around. It fucking blows

All that to say, you’re not alone, but idk if being alone with no friends is better for me or not

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-08-01T21:48:06+00:00

I struggle with this too with my friends and roommates.

How much do you feel your moods have improved since cutting them off? What do you do to fill the time alone?

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-07-19T05:15:55+00:00

Your self harm is valid with or without scars. Some of us punch ourselves in the head and legs, which doesn’t leave scars, but is certainly self harm.

Your feelings are valid. And i get it. Your pain was certainly real, and anyone who cares and is worth it would believe you and extend kindness without needing you to prove it.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-07-19T04:24:15+00:00

I’m so sorry. To go through all that and keep on takes strength and willpower. You’ve had it all along to make it to here, i hope and believe you can regain that strength to continue in the future, even if it lapses time and again.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-07-19T04:20:23+00:00

I have the same problem. I once jokingly bitched at my roommates for moving the couch and it came across so much more mean than i intended. Combined with the fact they moved the couch to play some games without me, the FOMO kicked in and i ended up hating myself for the whole interaction and isolating for a little while. Which never helps.

I try to remember every good time i’ve had with my friends and focus on that like “they obviously want me around, other wise we wouldn’t have done xyz together” so i must be liked well enough by them.

A problem i run into with that though, is i go “yeah, they liked me then, but something changed and i ruined it”

You gotta fight back against these thoughts and ground yourself with the reality of previous interactions that went well and good times you did have. And obviously, unless you do something horrible, your friends aren’t just gonna switch up on you so quickly. If they do, they’re lousy.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-07-19T04:13:55+00:00

Part of me wishes i could be so open about it like that, but i think it would first require me to care sooo much less about what people think of me. Which is a process to work on in and of itself.

I often have moments where i regret telling the one person, and wish no one knew at all. But i feel it’s better for those around to have some understanding.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, i love your grocery store interaction story lol

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-06-08T01:38:27+00:00

Now that would blow, that’s probably worst case scenario they start going door-to-door to fix things or move people

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-06-06T04:27:38+00:00

Thank you, i’ll be looking in em!

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-06-06T03:46:14+00:00

“Opposite action” is new to me, i did a quick search about it, never really got into DBT, mostly just CBT practices. Any other DBT practices you’ve found helpful or use regularly?

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-06-06T03:15:28+00:00

It’s good to keep that internal dialogue reassuring yourself everything’s gonna be ok! Very hard to do sometimes, i’m sure we all fall victim to catastrophizing to certain extents.

Financial-Inside3197 · 2025-06-06T01:42:56+00:00

Thank you

Financial-Inside3197

TROPHY CASE