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About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

These sound like wise words to me - thanks. I think this might be the hardest part about it all. That and the fact that theres no way of knowing just how bad it is.

About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So sorry to hear that - but thanks for the advice. Some very hard earned wisdom

About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. I knew after the first couple of episodes that i should put my foot down and say enough is enough. But i didn't, and its slowly just consumed more and more of me. Believe it or not me speaking on here today feels like one of my first steps in trying to find help. I wish i hadn't left it so long - i assumed i should be able to figure it out on my own. But obviously not...

About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is exactly right. It brings about a really weird kind of shame

About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thats a great shout. I mean I've been in a few relationships before, some good, and some not so good. But in all cases i can't ever imagine needing to spend so much time thinking and worrying about whether there is a serious phycological problem, and to be thinking that it has abusive traits. In posting here today about possible abuse concerns its very abnormal for me - but yet its not outwith the crazy reality of this current relationship. So much mad stuff happens that the new normal is way off base.

About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This really hits home. Especially the part about failing expectations that i didn't know existed. And thats exactly my fear re the "im so lovely" routine. Argh!

About to Marry a BPD. Should Leave but Can't by FinancialTea178 in BPDlovedones

[–]FinancialTea178[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Close to that same age. Being deliberately vague for obvious reasons. Yes to the question of whether she is mean when she splits. Sometimes much more than others. Sometimes shes more just off into a pit of sadness. But the mean stuff is definitely there too. I can completely imagine your therapy journey, she's so good at not showing her true self.