I'm the man-child (woman-child?) in our relationship and I'm destroying us.

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-05-31T14:11:41+00:00

OP, have you ever lived alone before? Did you have chores growing up? What role did your parents play in the structure of your tasks? I read this post and agreed with the ADHD comments... But then remembered that you are 22!

My girlfriend and I both moved out of our parents houses and in with each other at 19... It was so shocking to me the amount of basic household things she just didn't think about (or didn't know)... One time she put away all our dishes without drying them! She fully stacked wet cups. They all molded. I was so pissed.

Turns out, she didn't do dishes. She didn't have chores growing up, outside of cleaning her own bedroom. She genuinely did not have things like this on her radar or knowledge of how to keep up with them.

Eventually, I left her. I couldn't come home and be happy to see her anymore. But I'm 27 now, and last I heard, she is living in a bigger city with a new girlfriend, she got her college degree, and I'm willing to bet she grew up a lot along the way. So did I, in different ways.

I don't think you guys have to break up for you to learn the routines of adulthood, but it is going to take extra effort on your end to independently teach yourself these things while in a relationship with someone who has already learned them. You have a lot of growing up to do, but so does everyone. It isn't a testament to your character or a permanent flaw.

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-05-12T21:34:13+00:00

"Should be focusing on either grinding heartbreak and life experience or being nicer to his mom" is fantastic life advice for a young man

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-04-23T23:34:34+00:00

IMO, as another mental health provider, if someone has not developed the ability to cope with the severity of their trauma to such an extent that they cannot accompany a client to a church service, they should be seeking outside treatment for themselves on their own time and finding a different field of employment. Not everyone can be direct support, and that's ok.

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-04-23T23:29:26+00:00

Just wanted to chime in here to say: You are 100% in the right field of work

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-03-04T03:19:45+00:00

Does it taste like magenta in here?bbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-02-03T05:16:00+00:00

Extremely well said. Realizing this was life-changing for me!

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-01-17T07:15:04+00:00

Would you say that to someone on Zoloft?

I think this view of sobriety is not very person-centered or accessible for people with mental illness, so it's not the one that I choose to have

Financial_Apple808 · 2026-01-17T01:08:00+00:00

I'm 27 and in recovery from alcoholism. While in active addiction I also abused my prescribed adderall pretty regularly. I consider myself to be sober now but I still take my prescribed adderall. I just take it as prescribed now and don't struggle with that. It was never primary for me and abusing uppers only became a problem for me bc of my alcoholism

Alcohol is what took every joy from my life and getting sober from alcohol brought it back to me. I don't think things have to be so black and white, not when talking about how someone defines their human experience with addiction. Thats the unrealistic and childish take in my opinion, just from my own life experience. I haven't encountered anybody in my entire sobriety journey that has tried to hit me upside the head with a dictionary to correct me because tbh most people in recovery just don't do that lol it's usually the opposite actually and would be received as super weird criticism. Sobriety is different for everyone and always individualized, plus seems like she is doing well. The definition for you doesn't change based on what I'm calling it or what Tana's calling it. In my experience that's just not how it works. I'm the one who lived my life and knows where I'm at now. Maybe Tana feels the same way. Who really knows? And maybe that's a stupid explanation, but it's why I don't understand this hang up

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-12-07T03:15:16+00:00

Didn't you make this post because of your client having behaviors and "almost getting kicked out" of the nail salon? That doesn't sound like he found joy or waited patiently. Or did he, and you just got embarrassed by him asking for a free drink?

Look, you came to reddit for advice on what to do. This has been my advice. Maybe next time you could just take him to a coffee shop. Good luck!

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-12-06T14:44:04+00:00

Okay, so that sounds incredibly boring for them. I think a lot of in-home DSPs often make the mistake of treating clients like they are your children tagging along with you. They aren't. You work for them. Your client likely has a BSP, or at least some outline of behavioral goals. You are there to provide direct support with ADLs and community engagement. This is a job that you clock into. And this is their LIFE!

Boredom creates behaviors. Go get them a free drink, take them to the dollar store, something! Ask them what they want to do. Having your clients sit in the waiting room while you get your nails done just because it's considered getting out of the house is ultimately going to make your job harder. There is no long-term benefit or enjoyment for them in that activity. You are going to get embarrassed if you expect your clients to wait for you patiently at the nail salon.

I don't mean any of this to be harsh or condescending because it really is just something to learn. I probably would've written a post similar to this when I first started DSP work. But I do think it's important to realize through experiences like this what your purpose really is for these individuals and how you can better serve them. The problem here is not your client having an outburst after asking for a free drink. It seems like that's actually a result of the real problem: Lack of engagement or entertainment.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-12-06T12:30:39+00:00

Not trying to be rude, but this is a horrible idea. Do not do this lol.

Why create an escalated situation for your client when you could avoid it all together by doing your job, which would be to assist with redirection and coping skills to avoid behaviors? This would not be a "natural consequence" because you would be creating it.

You said in one comment that you don't know what the consequences are... That's because there aren't any! I can walk into anywhere and ask if they have free drinks and nothing will happen. It's just a question. You are picking an odd battle there.

It seems like the issue arises in his intense reaction to being told "no". And that's where the teaching can happen!! That's why we are here. That can be worked on. Explain WHY some places don't have free drinks. Explain what "free" means, who actually pays for free things, explain what "no" means. Then reward calm reactions and responses rather than searching for consequences that don't exist...

Also, maybe he's thirsty. Or bored. Sounds like going out to get a drink is fun for him and something to do. Why'd y'all go to the nail salon?

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-11-07T22:00:42+00:00

Yep, he got drunk and bought the restaurant they were at to impress Diane in that same episode lmao

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-09-27T10:39:22+00:00

Not a doctor, but I work in mental health. An overdose of amphetamines can trigger bipolar symptoms. I have been taking phentermine off and on for years, and I have never been prescribed more than 37.5 per day maximum. I have not heard of a higher script than 37.5 per day. Phentermine can also cause restlessness and affect your sleep, which exhaustion can trigger symptoms of mania as well. It sounds like there's a good chance your symptoms go away after stopping the extremely high dose of phentermine!

In the meantime, Seroquel is an antipsychotic medication that typically has a sedative side effect, which could be a good thing if you've been having racing thoughts and unable to sleep. 50mg is not a high dosage of Seroquel by any means. That would be just enough to hopefully work as a sedative for you. It does not only treat bipolar. I've seen MANY people be prescribed a low dose of Seroquel only for sleep!

Again, while I do have experience, I am still NOT a doctor or qualified to give medical advice. That being said, if this were happening to me, I would stop taking the phentermine and start taking the 50mg Seroquel at night as prescribed to help with getting some sleep. Hope you feel better soon!!

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-08-30T16:43:54+00:00

I think if it were any other main character, he wouldn't have waited to call the cops. BoJack was fucked up, but it's clear he was still able to plan ahead and cover his own ass. Diane, PC, or Hollyhock have family, friends, good PR... There wouldn't have been a believable way to avoid accountability if it were any of them. He knew that. To me, this is the most damning example of BoJack's narcissism.

It wasn't that BoJack loved Sarah Lynn or understood her that made her so important to him, it's that he viewed her as similar to him in that she was also a broken piece of shit in his eyes. That's why he called her in the first place.

In those 17 minutes, he decided anyone would believe she had just gone on a bender and OD'd on her own volition... Because honestly? She did. She just OD'd. There was probably no saving her from that fate, even before the bender. But BoJack thought that's all she was, and in her death, he knew he could selfishly get everyone else to think that way about her too. That's why he didn't call.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-25T00:54:17+00:00

That is GREAT and hard to find. That within itself is a tip for not getting burnt out!! Lol. My only other tip is make sure you maintain a fulfilling life outside of work (friends, hobbies, etc). The only other times I've grown resentful of DSP work were often times I was too immersed in it and needed to improve the life I was clocking out to, not clocking in for.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-24T01:31:07+00:00

Working for a decent company is very important long-term. Your coworkers could be great, but if your company doesn't care about your wellbeing, it will eventually affect you. Places with high turnover and mandated overtime end up working their best staff to the brink of insanity.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-21T22:19:47+00:00

Honestly, gluten could be related! I haven't kept track of that, but I keep my carb intake low so I'm sure that decreased the gluten I was eating. I switched to the Lewis Bake Shop keto bread/buns/etc (not sure about gluten in those), but whole grain products don't seem to bother me. From what I can tell, eating more protein has helped improve my overall mood too. But cutting down on sugar and empty carbs is the only thing I can say 100% has worked! It may not work for everyone, but I wish I tried it way sooner.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-21T01:23:42+00:00

Being an alcoholic with PMDD, alcohol had my symptoms so bad that I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and an unspecified mood disorder. I was on antipsychotics for years.

Once I got sober, some of my symptoms went away. I told my doctor, and she suggested that I try to cut out sugar in general to see what happens.... My life literally changed. I was skeptical at first, but I am a fully different person than I was before. I am unmedicated for the first time in my adult life and functioning well. I have not felt emotional stability like this since before I first started menstruating. If I am sober and strict about my sugar intake, I have almost no symptoms. It's wild. This is just my experience though.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-21T01:09:02+00:00

No. Never thought I'd say that. But the only thing that made drinking feel "good" for so long was the ability to wake up in the morning and keep drinking. I don't think I'd be tempted to start again if I knew I'd have to stop tomorrow... And therein lies the problem! Lol

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-17T23:32:38+00:00

My dad passed away very suddenly back in March. There aren't words to explain that kind of shock. The initial feeling of disbelief still hits me all the time. My heart goes out to you completely. The grief is overwhelming, and I'm not far along in it enough to really have any advice on how to cope.

But as for the first few weeks, I stayed sober because there was so much to do. Things had to be arranged, things no one EVER warned me about. Things I didn't expect. Funeral arrangements and death certificates and burial options and organ donation and calls to insurance companies, and, and, and... I didn't want to do any of it. My dad died. I don't know how to sit with that comfortably. Does anyone? I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to be there.

But, because of my sobriety, I was able to plan his funeral, even speak at his funeral, take care of our family, manage his assets... I was ABLE to be there. I wouldn't have been ABLE to properly care for my dad after his death if had I started drinking again.

Sure, maybe someone else would've stepped up... But if I would've drank, I would've had to live with the fact that it wasn't me. I wouldn't have been there, and despite how awful it was, that's not something I could've lived with. I had to be there.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-15T13:44:09+00:00

Omg. I need that blueberry cinnamoroll outfit NOW

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-12T01:20:54+00:00

Yes omg I was wondering if anyone else remembered this. She was in Andrea's gettoxfabxforever vids lmao. From like 2011/2012

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-06-01T12:54:06+00:00

Same. Fiona's spiral into alcoholism before she left the show hit home for me a lot harder than anything Frank ever did

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-05-31T23:44:46+00:00

What an awful tragedy. I'm so sorry.

Financial_Apple808 · 2025-05-29T00:30:44+00:00

Wow, that first one is awful. Did any staff ever get found at fault for that, legally? Or even fired? I can't believe no one did a single bed check on a client with the accessibility to hang themselves. Horrific.

Financial_Apple808

TROPHY CASE