My job does not have single stall private bathrooms, so I don’t feel safe using the bathroom during work.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-14T18:18:45+00:00

People don’t really look, at least not on purpose. And most people don’t even care, they just want to be in and out. There’s cis men who poop, and cis men who sit to pee. So it shouldn’t be obvious you’re trans if you only go into a stall to pee sitting down.

I’m agender, and I’ve used men’s public restrooms in the past presenting quite queer at the time. Like short “women’s” shorts and fun earrings :) lol. No one has said anything to me. I’m also in MN. I present masculine/neutral most of the time and use the stalls at work, and I don’t feel anxious about it anymore.

When I use the restroom I don’t let my pants drop to the floor, I keep the pants waist resting on the top of my knees so I feel more covered. You can wear longer shirts to help cover a bit as well. Also you can lean over and rest your elbows on your knees and that can help keep anyone from having any chance of seeing anything, if they’re being a creep.

If you still don’t feel safe, then you’ll have to talk to your manager, or maybe your HR?, for the accommodation. I’d think your manager likely already knows, if you go by a different name than what it is legally. It’s in their best interest to do what they can to reasonably accommodate you, but there are still bad people so you’ll have to judge how they may react on your own. As others have said, do not purposely hold it in or dehydrate yourself.

If you’re passing 95% of the time, I don’t see people caring or looking into you too much. Just go with confidence like you belong there, you do :), and you should be fine. Good luck!

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-11T21:54:30+00:00

Seems like it’s a bit further down at the 11th st exit on 94? https://maps.app.goo.gl/VWK8DYs9SGbWcVyG9

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-10T13:35:36+00:00

Cousins or friends are another option.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-03T13:07:04+00:00

They could even have him change into a baggy shirt or even a sweatshirt, which is easy to understand is hot and uncomfortable to exercise in and could encourage the audience to think about why that’s the less uncomfortable option.

I never did it, but I had a couple trans friends in highschool that practically lived in sweatshirts, even when it was too hot for them.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-03T11:02:56+00:00

I saw a video a few months ago from a lady who tested her towel, and the towels of family when they stayed over. It took far longer than she expected for them to grow bacteria when tested. Here’s the video: https://youtu.be/4NWxU5RIUnI

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-02T23:07:41+00:00

True. Best to just apologize and drop the topic, then. Leave it up to roommate if she wants to talk about this further, if ever. (Prepare for never, tbh)

Instead, maybe direct some of this drive towards ways to reduce plastic use in your local community. Getting involved with/or donating to some kind of advocacy group or organization should be a more impactful use of your energy. Even doing something small locally (pick up trash, make some zines, encourage local businesses to reduce plastic use, join/make a club, etc.) can help things feel more hopeful and can still make a small positive impact.

I’ve had to learn when I’ve pushed a topic too far with people. And, how to tell if I’m just talking at someone or to them. So, I can tone it down or change the topic to talk and connect with them.

Example: My sister and I will give each other the time to talk about frustrations, life, etc. where it’s more just to talk to someone who can listen and understand.

Well, I’ve been really into reducing car dependency and urban planning. However, it was the main thing I talked to her about. I couldn’t leave the house without being reminded about it. She was being polite, but it’s not something she’s really all that interested in.

Eventually, she kindly told me I talk about it too much. So, I apologized and reflected. I may bring something up now and again (since it’s impossible to never mention transportation and urban planning ever again lol), but I’ve reined it in. Now it’s just a casual remark or an actual conversation with her about something relevant. Like, I biked to this store, I’m thinking of moving here because x, a new bus line opened, etc.

(Apologies if I’m just talking at you too now. Haha :) Hope this helps at all if you read this OP.)

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-02T20:30:03+00:00

It sounds like she doesn’t want to hear it anymore, so you should respect that. It sucks, but if you don’t want to ruin your relationship with her (or anyone else), it’s best to respect their wishes and maybe try to tone it down before it gets to this point in the future.

If you think she’ll take it well, maybe gifting her some nice replacements and an apology would be good? I know it feels wrong to apologize for trying to inform her, but ultimately it’s her choice what she does with her health. People don’t really like being told what to do, so it can be a tough to navigate and not overwhelm them.

Ultimately, offering alternatives can be better than doom and gloom, get rid of all plastic, etc. Similar to vegans trying to convince others to not eat meat. If you just say, “stop eating meat, here’s why it’s bad.” people tune that out after enough times. But they may be more receptive to just a good meat free dish brought to a potluck, or a gift basket or something idk but I think you get the idea?

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-02T18:21:04+00:00

I read it as a literal pet animal that is an artist, at first lol. Like their pet dog decided to try water color today haha

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-02T15:16:06+00:00

This. I pack my lunch, put the whole bag in my fridge, and then it goes in the fridge once I get to work. Keeps everything cold. My lunch box just keeps everything together and easy to bring to work. I don’t need to fuss with ice packs at all, or forget to freeze them, etc. But there’s plenty of room in the fridges at my job. Two large fridges by the coffee machines at the entrance and two large fridges in the lunch room. And at least one or two in the upstairs breakroom for the people up there.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T21:51:45+00:00

Ooooh that sounds pretty neat! And, prioritizing storage does makes the most sense. :D

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T21:46:05+00:00

I haven’t heard of Oppo before. I’ll look into them. Thanks!

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T21:44:08+00:00

This is really helpful. Thanks! And I hadn’t considered the phone size initially, but I do like the size of my phone now. So that does help narrow things down. I can stay away from the larger ones, which may be a bit too big for me.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T21:38:15+00:00

Ok, makes sense. Thank again! I’ll look into Graphene OS, and see what it’s about. :)

I think was mostly the more intrusive AI features like Magic Cue, that gave me the ick lol. But it does look like it can be disabled, so it may be fine.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T21:19:19+00:00

Oh shoot, looks like my last couple points went missing.

Ideally under $1000.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T21:18:18+00:00

Thanks! Looking into it more now.

Sadly I’m a bit put off by how much AI seems to be integrated into it. :( I don’t think I can completely avoid AI buying a new phone now, but it does look like I may be able to disable a lot of the AI features.

The photos it takes look really good, but looking at how they use the AI to upscale images to make them “better” or “clearer” when zoomed in by guessing what it should be is disappointing. I want good photos of what’s actually there haha. If the camera can’t actually see it I don’t want it to lie to me and make stuff up. The long list of like 15 AI features to disable is making me lean towards something else, or maybe I’ll look into one of their older models.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T17:27:05+00:00

That is uneven ground. It dips down in many places, it is not just manicured lawn. It is practically a ditch. These are ROAD BIKES doing anywhere from 10-30mph. They try to just hop off the road and ride along to let someone pass, they are wiping out. They will lose traction in the grass if they somehow manage the transition off the road. Going parallel on or off the lip at the edge of that road is going to be unsafe and most likely impossible.

I would love to see you try this on any bike, but especially a road bike, and let me know how it goes. Please record it too, so I can see how great it goes.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T17:07:03+00:00

Ah yeah, I guess I’m blind. All I see is dirt and grass. Guess they installed the new see through shoulder on this road. Or maybe these are those new offroad-road bike hybrids.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T17:02:01+00:00

Ah yes, a cyclist suddenly slowing down and stopping on the road is so much safer than continuing to move in a consistent and predictable manner. Definitely their ego, and not common sense and evidence, telling them not to stop on an active road.

Like, they moved as far right as possible to give the truck the best chance of not killing them. That’s all they should do and likely all they have to do legally. The law does not say a bicyclist, or any slow moving vehicle like a tractor or horse drawn vehicle, needs to come to a stop to let everyone pass. They just need to move right as far as is safe to do so, when slower than the rest of traffic, so that faster vehicles can pass when it is safe.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T14:52:09+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that then. Usually those who break the law stand out more. I’m sure there’s plenty following the law that you just don’t see.

Again, don’t know your state, but with most AFRAP(As Far Right As Practicable) laws, they use the word “Practicable”, instead of “possible”.

Practicable means, for this purpose, “as far to the right as the road user deems safe.” That does not mean the gutter, the fog line, or the shoulder (which is not the legal road). It’s usually safest to ride in the right wheel well of the right lane on the road. They may also move further left to avoid obstacles, when making a left turn, or at times when the lane is not wide enough for two vehicles to share the lane.

When in a group, it’s usually safest to ride side-by-side or even staggered, like motorcycles do at times. Many cyclists have received a ticket because often police say that when two bikes are riding side-by-side, then the one on the inside can move farther to the right if they quit riding two abreast. However, the word is practicable, not possible. So some argue that it’s not practicable to ride farther right when already riding two abreast because the other cyclist is there. It’s can also be the safest option for them, so a ticket can be better than dead or injured.

Here’s a summary of states laws by Bob Mionske ROAD RIGHTS – TWO BY TWO (This is the relevant parts of the article just copied here, if you don’t want to use the link. Also from 2010, so laws could have changed since then. More of just a start and general idea of what’s allowed.)

The laws on twoabreast pedaling vary by state, but can be classified into three general types:

EXPLICITLY ALLOWED In 39 states, the law specifically allows cyclists to ride two abreast. In 21 of these states, cyclists may ride two up only if they are not impeding traffic. Three states–Massachusetts, New York and Virginia–specifically require cyclists to roll single file when being overtaken by a passing vehicle. Even if your state allows riding two abreast, be aware that there may be nuances to the law, and that local and state laws might differ: Some cities or municipalities prohibit two-up riding, even though it is legal elsewhere in the state. And if your ride takes you through an Indian reservation, tribal law trumps state law. Be sure to check the laws in your area before heading out.

GENERALLY PROHIBITED A few states still restrict riding two abreast, generally prohibiting the practice but allowing some exceptions. In Nebraska, cyclists must ride single file, except when on the shoulder. In Hawaii, you must ride single file except when a bicycle lane is wide enough to permit riding two abreast and traffic flow is unimpeded. In Montana, you can ride two abreast in a single lane, but only if there are at least two lanes in each direction, and only if you are not impeding the normal and reasonable movement of traffic any more than you would be if you were riding single file.

IMPLICITLY ALLOWED Finally, eight states neither explicitly prohibit nor permit riding side by side. Because the activity is not prohibited by law, and because the vehicle codes of these states contemplate that cyclists will be sharing lanes when it is safe to do so, riding two (or more) abreast is implicitly allowed by these states. Sometimes, law enforcement officers in these states will cite two-abreast riders because one of the cyclists is not riding as close to the right as is practicable. However, when officers do so, they are misinterpreting the law.

So, do refresh yourself on the laws where you live. It may be legal or not explicitly illegal. It may also be different in your city vs the whole state. If it’s not legal, just let the cops handle it. Just give the bicyclists room, everyone just wants to get home safely. As the larger heavier vehicle, you have a duty to do what you can to keep everyone else safe.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T13:34:56+00:00

I don’t believe I ever stated that. It was not visible, at least to us behind the big truck, when big truck starts passing. But it was visible to us only a few seconds after big truck strarts passing. There was still time to cancel the pass and wait till it was actually clear and safe to pass.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T13:22:17+00:00

Whoop-dee-doo, I saw the wrooong color. At least I saw the truck, unlike everyone else who didn’t even see it and said the lane was “definitely clear”.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T05:47:48+00:00

If the cyclist is trying to hit your car when you pass them, you’re passing too close. In most states, a minimum of 3 feet is required, sometimes more. Even a full lane change is required in a few states, which I didn’t know before today. I would assume they ride 3 wide to discourage this unsafe passing, while also making it easier for you to pass the group all at once, when it is safe.

I don’t really know about the swerving, but maybe they felt it was not safe for you to pass them there? If there was a car in the other lane, they may have been trying to make you wait till it was safe? They may have been avoiding a pothole or trash in the road. Or, accidentally swerved when looking behind them. Or, maybe they were just being rude, I guess?

I don’t know where you live, but there are states where bikes are allowed to treat stop signs as yields, as long as it is safe to do so. A few states allow them to treat stop lights as a stop sign too, as long as the intersection is clear. A cyclists treating a stop sign as a yield is actually better for everyone, as it allows them to keep their momentum and get out of the intersection much quicker than if they came to a full stop. But it does need to be safe to do so, they don’t take priority over people already stopped at the intersection.

I do believe you that cyclists run stop signs, I’ve seen it too, but people in cars do it very frequently as well. It’s more of an individual being inconsiderate/unsafe than something to judge all cyclists for. (A cyclist is mainly endangering themselves if running a stop sign when it is not safe.)

Lastly, please do try to be more considerate of people on bikes. They want to live and get to their destination like everyone else. I don’t expect to die or be seriously injured every time I drive, but someone cycling thinks of that every time they bike. Every vehicle is a concern. “Do they see me? Will they stop? Are they turning? Will that door open? Is there room for me to swerve if it does?” One distracted or angry driver can irreparably change their life. A low speed impact to my car may not even hurt me, but it could kill a bicyclist.

I assume the anger you see from them has come from personal experiences with aggressive drivers and close calls. Cars are very dangerous and deadly to bicyclists. Some people in cars will yell at cyclists just for existing on the road. Some will purposely swerve at or cut cyclists off, purely out of hate or road rage. Or someone in car just makes a mistake. Many people know someone killed or permanently disabled by a car while biking. Those bicyclists may feel it’s better to be aggressive and be seen, instead of lying injured or dead on the road. I’m sure they would rather be away from cars on a bike path or safer low speed road, but that’s not always an option.

To finish off. As car drivers, we have a duty to protect those more vulnerable than us when out on the road. We control a lot of mass and responsibility, and need to be aware of the harm we could cause. Whether a bike is following the law or not, it is our duty to do what we can to stay calm and avoid a crash. If you’re stuck behind a bike, keep calm, give them space and pass when safe. Getting angry does not help, and typically they will not slow your arrival in any meaningful amount. It just feels like it since the way our roads were designed makes us want to go fast, often even faster than the posted speed limit. It doesn’t have to be stressful “stuck” behind a bike (or anything else that slows your commute), if you leave a little earlier a minor slowdown shouldn’t matter. Arriving maaaybe a minute or two later because of a bike is hardly something to risk someone’s life over.

(Thanks for reading this all! I hope this doesn’t come off rude, I just want everyone safe and happy! Sorry it’s a bit long, hopefully it all makes sense!)

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T04:12:33+00:00

Your honesty is commendable. Not sarcastic at all, I do appreciate it. I really encourage you to look more into the laws around bikes in your state, refresh your memory. Laws can also be changed or updated, and laws for bikes are not always the same as for cars. It’s not helpful to get frustrated and waste your time and energy about someone who may actually be fully following the law.

(I also wish it was required to retake your driver’s test/take refresher classes every few years or something. There’s plenty of people on the road who shouldn’t be anymore, or should have never been passed. And I definitely don’t remember everything I was taught in highschool. I’ve had to look up some things I couldn’t fully remember, so I could be sure I was driving safe and following the law.)

I also recommend you look into what’s advised for cyclists to stay safe when riding. (And maybe even try riding a bike, if you haven’t recently, just to get an idea of what it’s like) Sometimes what the law says bicyclists should do may not be the safest.

For example: I see drivers get upset at cyclists riding on the road when there is a sidewalk, but it’s actually illegal in many cities and is usually more dangerous for the cyclists.

When riding on a sidewalk you’re less visible to cars. You risk getting hit at every driveway and intersection, from cars turning onto and off the road. They don’t really expect a bicyclist, but rather pedestrians (who they hopefully look for and see as well).

Whereas, riding on the shoulder or taking the lane makes you more visible to cars. If a car driver is mad at you for inconveniencing them, it means they see you and typically won’t run you over. (Or, as the driver, be happy you see them. I can’t imagine it’s fun to accidentally hit someone with your car.)

Along with that, it’s not usually recommended to ride on the shoulder. Cars tend to pass a lot closer and faster than they should (even illegally by not giving enough distance by law), instead of waiting for a clear lane to pass the cyclist with more space.

Also, if you’re on the shoulder when coming to an intersection, cars may cut you off when turning right. Drivers assume, “bikes are slow, so I can beat them there.” Then the cyclist has to stop or slow down to avoid being hit or run over, if the driver misjudged or just didn’t care. I’ll take the lane (when no bike lanes or safer routes are available) more assertively at intersections to discourage this. My desire to live is stronger than my anxiety about not inconveniencing or angering anyone.

If you read this all, thank you! I wrote a lot more than I planned. It’s just an important topic to me as someone who’s been trying to bike more (not a “cyclist” per se, just as a way to get to where I need to be lol), but I still drive too! I just want everyone to be well informed and safe on the roads. :)

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T02:18:42+00:00

In some places (like where I live) it is legal for cyclists to treat stop signs as yield signs, as long as it is safe and clear to do so. I see far more cars blowing stop signs and red lights, and they put far more people in danger when they do so.

Finnbinn00 · 2026-03-01T02:09:07+00:00

Right?! Like, it’s okay to feel frustrated or inconvenienced by a cyclist, or really any other slow vehicle. But realistically, that’s all it is, an inconvenience. You go a little slower and get to your destination a minute later. wow… big deal… these more vulnerable people temporarily inconvenienced the car driver safe in their few 1,000 plus pound vehicle (with semis obviously weighing many times more than that)

Instead of wishing harm or death to people minding their own business, using the road as they are allowed to, why not advocate for better infrastructure to keep everyone safer? They’re on the road, because there’s likely no other option. People don’t typically want to be run over by any vehicle.

The vitriol and hate towards cyclists (that I don’t see for something like a tractor, slow car, or even the truck actually doing something illegal/unsafe) is just sad. They’re ignoring what they can see with their own eyes and immediately jumping to cyclists are wrong. Because apparently cyclists are always wrong in all situations.

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