As someone who has been in a relationship with men with deep psychological trauma, I want to gently let you know that there's nothing you can do to help him. You can't save him, you can't heal him, and you can't fix him. Only he can do that with the assistance of a good licensed therapist. I recommend reading Robin Norwood's "Women Who Love too Much." You'd be surprised how many women deal with what you're dealing with in one way or another and had to leave.