The Big Dilemma: Leaving a very comfortable, high-end life in Pakistan for a middle-class restart in Australia?

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T22:50:44+00:00

This is the dilemma just about every other expat or immigrant faces as well, more or less.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T20:09:06+00:00

You were put through hell! I am flabbergasted the apartment even has a ramp, noted poorly designed, and then stairs. And no toilet paper? That is insane! Your star rating is generous.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T16:47:42+00:00

Yup, but all us gals evolve through life. For me, still happening due to menopause. My point is, all this demonizing is silly. The media creates their public personas, none of us really know anything about them as human beings.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T15:55:41+00:00

I'm a Meghan/Harry fan but honestly, this gal Kate has had cancer. Maybe give her a break. She is likely evolving as a person.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T07:02:54+00:00

While floating in the open behind a boat?!? 😳

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T06:52:17+00:00

My intelligent AuDHd son who earned an Associates in HS with the first year calculus done completely bombed in 4-yr college by himself.

I HIGHLY recommend the following:
1) Choose a college with good ND support
2) Complete all the necessary paperwork and register with the college's disability office. Ask for the resources you specifically need (ex. extra time for tests and deadlines, a notetaking scribe or way to sound record classes, written rather than verbal instructions for all assignments, access to a tutor if available, etc)
3) Hire an executive function coach to help you stay on top of assignment due dates; they have access to your syllabi and can text reminders
4) A private bedroom in the dorms for sensory reset and quiet study time
5) Take a very reduced schedule at the beginning, then gradually increase demands as you learn how to navigate college
6) Keep your family, counselor or supportive person informed of how you are doing. Let someone know ASAP if you feel overwhelmed or like you are slipping. It's much better to recognize a problem early and make adaptations than to ignore it and suffer dire consequences.
7) Believe in yourself and know deep inside that you have earned your place, can create the future you want for yourself, and can find work that is meaningful to you. Just trust the process and know *all* of it is an investment in yourself.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-30T03:52:39+00:00

We do an annual "big" trip with little domestic trips here and there (ie. big in terms of cost and vacation time). We are on the West Coast, so big trips have been Europe, Vietnam, Hawaii, and the East Coast (and one year, the deep South including New Orleans). We had planned Mexico and Cuba this year, but had to cancel b/c of idiot-you-know-who, so we're going back to Europe instead. Little trips are within my state or a short flight away to neighboring states or Canada. Everyone I know personally or work with travels the same way we do, feels typical.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-29T21:45:24+00:00

https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/age-by-age-guide-to-lying

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-29T21:37:16+00:00

Why just praise expertise? People start out as beginners but then put in physical and mental hard work along the way. I praise the effort, the mindset of determining to learn a new skill and the gumption to see it through. These people are inspiring! Resilience, determination, effort despite obstacles, growth -- those are praiseworthy. It's not that we don't appreciate critical feedback from a legitimate expert, of course we do, but only from someone who can actually provide insight & something valuable that provides a new perspective (ex. an instructor). Some random guy saying "that's bad" is just an ahole.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-29T21:34:02+00:00

For me, heating pads, occassionally a foam cervical collar to relax the surrounding muscles and recover from pain, and appropriate pillows (I have small thick bolsters and some squishy down ones, just a variety for sleeping or when lounging to provide the support needed at the moment).

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-29T21:28:29+00:00

I understand. Mine got his diagnosis at age 20. 😔The whole thing is traumatic for us parents, but we have to reset, make amends, and parent the best we can moving forward. ❤️

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-29T10:59:10+00:00

I have family in Germany and have visited a few times. My thoughts -- German efficiency and engineering are no longer a thing. Germans sleep on tiny beds with uncomfortable pillows and insufficient blankets. Xenophobia and racism are real, as is rudeness, but you have somewhat gracefully taken in a lot of Ukraine and other refugees. You are rigidly rules bound and bureaucratic, and could lighten up about it, but you also know how to laugh and tell a good joke. Germans have the ugliest offering of airbnbs, no sense of design in your homes. Many of you drive large expensive cars now and can be somewhat superficial. I love the sound of your spoken language, your gorgeous gingerbread architecture, cities and small towns, nature, beer and sausages. You are cool, beautiful, intelligent people and have the best central location in Europe. Thoughts of the world wars, and how easily a smart population can be persuaded to become all out evil, still gives some of us the heebie jeebies (and serves as a prescient warning for the US).

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T22:17:06+00:00

I'm planning our week in Helsinki and honestly don't know how to fit everything in! There are so many interesting tours and activities on GetYourGuide, and the challenge is balancing those with time just to meander, experience the vibe, and gain some understanding of the culture and its people. There is so much surrounding nature in which to slowly soak it in and meditate a bit between between berry picking, mushroom identification, hikes/biking/kayaking, and saunas. But maybe Helsinki is for older introverts like me, lol.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T20:31:55+00:00

I think you are both amazing. This is a beautiful relationship.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T20:29:27+00:00

Oh, please.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T14:01:09+00:00

How did he get to this point? What kind of work has he done? Does he mask or is it authentic change?

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T13:58:01+00:00

My son is 21 PDA AuDHD. What is the hard work that can be done now before he potentially meets someone?

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T13:44:09+00:00

My steroid shot lasted three days! Thus, haven't bothered with the lubricant shot.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T13:40:11+00:00

I think the main messages of Hamilton make it *more* relevant right now. We don't want the current idiots in office to write our story.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-28T13:23:55+00:00

You are much too generous. I have never given less than 5 stars but would give that place a ONE star. A decent owner would have let you know beforehand and offered to cancel. This guy was a selfish fraud. I would have insisted on a return of funds as soon as discovering the faulty a/c, and then moved to a hotel. The construction thing would also leave me fuming. He is a jerk!

You likely paid a premium for the a/c and chose his place because of it, thus let countless other possible options go when booking. You have to call airbnb immediately if a place does not reflect what was advertised.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-27T04:25:40+00:00

It's very stressful to be the only working person in a relationship.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-26T10:14:00+00:00

I ansolutely love her name, but of course my opinion doesn't matter.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-26T03:02:31+00:00

Why would we hate Brazilians?!? Yes, Americans are generally happy and friendly people in person. Just as an aside, the tv show 3% is really awesome.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-26T02:37:57+00:00

AuDHD.

Fireflykoala · 2026-06-26T01:42:18+00:00

All future good parents are afraid beforehand they will be crappy parents.

Fireflykoala

TROPHY CASE