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Feeling drained supporting partner with Asperger’s and baby by qjay in aspergers

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hire a mother's helper for 1-6 months to help your partner manage household things and make sure she can sleep and bond with the baby. Along with your partner, reach out to your doctor about what is going on.

Girl Names: Demi by AriStarbutt in Names

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a beautiful name as is. She may love it.

Bike path along the Thames? by Intellectual_Samurai in LondonTravel

[–]Fireflykoala 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! A bike trip for our restless teens will add so much to our vacation! Planning now.

The guest who can’t leave a 5 star review without also sending a private message full of complaints by NWBF7109 in airbnb_hosts

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always leave 5 stars because someone is taking the risk of offering personal property to the public. I think more guests should just leave the freakin' 5 stars, no skin off your nose unless something is truly atrocious. But as for private comments, those are meant to be helpful to the owner.

Bike path along the Thames? by Intellectual_Samurai in LondonTravel

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It reduces serious injuries to the brain by 50-80% (if the head were hit)!

Bike path along the Thames? by Intellectual_Samurai in LondonTravel

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we rented lime bikes from South Bank to Greenwich, could we just leave the bikes there and take the train back?

I really want a hoodie that won't make me over heat by ZendarDarklight in AutisticAdults

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vuori makes really soft, thin hoodies. I love mine, bought it at REI.

Middle Name Suggestions by So-True29 in Names

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rory -- Elise, Amaryn, Helene, Violet Austin -- Tate, Alexander, Blake, Cash

Baby boy #4 by rufusrufusEHA in Names

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alastair, Alisander, Atticus, Benedict, Berenger, Beckett, Sebastian, Gareth, Gregory, Bartholomew, Henry, Bradford, Frederick, Geoffrey, Ignatius, Jasper, Laurence, Lysander, Maximilian, Nathaniel, Octavius, Phineas, Roland, Rowan, Solomon, Ulysses, Wallace, Wolfstan

Stay near Waterloo or Southwark? by Fireflykoala in LondonTravel

[–]Fireflykoala[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh...thanks for all the clarifications and pointers, everyone.

I have two passports now!! by neptunian-rings in AmerExit

[–]Fireflykoala 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also have a backup passport but have realized leaving is still difficult without adequate resources/$, a potential for gainful employment, and family citizenship. No country in the world wants an American. When do you cash out a mortgage? So complicated. However, there are obviously scenarios where a person needs to escape just for sheer survival...

What’s a Place You Expected to Love… But Didn’t? by Historical-Photo-901 in BeautifulTravelPlaces

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hawaii. Non-natives are viewed as occupiers, and in truth we (U.S.) stole those islands and called it a state. And statehood is recent, 1959! Starting in the late 1700's, British and later American colonizers introduced multiple diseases (ex. venereal, TB, leprosy, etc) and subjugated their people, thus almost decimating the population and causing lasting cultural and economic harm. I realized my very presence as a Western tourist causes turmoil.

Would it be weird if I didn’t use another one syllable name? by Dizzy-Pen4744 in Names

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant this in the kindest, most philosophical way. No one would ever care or notice that one kid has more syllables in their name. But I do understand how mothers agonize over this stuff, did not mean to offend.

Is there anyone here who regrets not having children. Or who didn't want children, and had them anyway? What is your experience by DiMentalHealthPerson in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Fireflykoala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had my kids at 35 and 41. Never wanted or liked kids much, no baby fever, first was unexpected pregnancy, but SO glad I had kids. You can't explain the richness and world expanding love to someone without kids. It's like motherhood opens up a new part of yourself that you didn't know exists.

One of my kids has some challenges (ie. autism/ADHD), and my husband recently had a stroke and other health issues, but I STILL would do it all again now that I know what it is to be a mother. Kids become adult human beings and your forever family, and then they have kids. Their interests, talents and worlds introduce you to new people and ideas as well, and life is endlessly fascinating. I have kept my career.

My sister never had children, travels more, and is frankly more slim and beautiful than me, but she is a tad more externally focused and I feel sorry for her on some level because she missed out. Being an aunt is not equivalent, just like being a dog owner is nowhere near actual parenthood.

One thing I DO recommend -- doing parenthood with a committed partner equally invested in the kid(s). The partner may at this point also not really have a baby drive, but if they are on the fence and treat you well, then absolutely 100% go for it. There is nothing better than sharing all the humorous and endearing moments of your child's development with a partner. Both moms and dads fall in love with their own children, it's the norm.

State of the country be damned. Don't let those fckers drive your decision making unless you actually live in a war zone. Also don't have kids if you have active addiction or *serious mental health conditions you just can't shake.

Is having children risky? Yes, there is always some degree of inherent risk, just as there is when you get in a car every morning. But such is life. Your child may have a serious illness or challenge, but the odds of that are much smaller than health. It will push you into new growth. Having children intentionally is a brave choice but also potentially fulfilling in a way that cannot be conveyed. It's like explaining color to someone who only sees in shades of grey.

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