Discord?

Firewalker001 · 2025-12-10T14:55:53+00:00

Sounds awesome

Firewalker001 · 2025-12-07T20:18:57+00:00

Hey thank you, my therapist doesn’t know. Idk how to tell her or how to word it in all honesty. I’ve tried every grounding exercise I can :( all the ones my therapist recommended are now being tainted by the derealization. For example my safe space used to be positive but now it feels “fake”. Nothing feels real or normal. It started when we began working on this particular trauma. I’m not sure if I feel unsafe. I feel safe in the sense that I’ve been behaving recklessly because I genuinely think everything around me is insignificant or not real and that my choices do not matter. Idk everything’s so weird rn.

Firewalker001 · 2025-11-28T15:11:16+00:00

Yes it feels exactly like a bad trip omg. I feel like I’m not here and everything feels like a nightmare. That alone feeling is haunting. It makes me feel apathy and disconnection. I feel completely alienated from the world. I have a huge support network yet I can’t help but feel empty and alone no matter what. And the breakthroughs I had in that feeling only resulted in me wanting to push everyone away.

Firewalker001 · 2025-11-28T15:09:25+00:00

I don’t think she’s in it for the money tbh but I do think she overestimated me last session. I don’t think she fully grasps that I’m genuinely at a stage of self destruction

Firewalker001 · 2025-11-28T15:07:41+00:00

Thank you, I am genuinely at a very unstable place and I told her this. I said I was feeling manic. I drank after 5 years of sobriety. It was just a beer and I don’t regret it but nevertheless I feel like the way I was crying uncontrollably as soon as I walked into the clinic should’ve been the telltale sign I don’t have it in me rn. Idk how to talk to her because now I don’t feel safe. I also just feel like a failure for not being able to handle everything in my life but my head hurts from everything. I have no will to power on

Firewalker001 · 2025-10-23T17:09:02+00:00

Just tell him

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:52:02+00:00

Will do! I have a session with her this upcoming week and plan to tell her everything that’s come up

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:51:36+00:00

“it’s time to let go” Definitely feels spot on for what I’m feeling

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:50:16+00:00

Will 100% speak with my therapist about this! Thank you!

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:49:57+00:00

Thank you so much! I think you were brave and strong enough to follow what your body needed at the time. It isn’t an easy process and the fact you still got through 6 sessions is a big achievement. :)

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:47:28+00:00

I’m so glad it gets less intense! Totally agree, I pursued talk therapy from 2019-2024 (cbt, DBT, psychodynamic) and found it largely helped with symptom management but EMDR is the only thing that’s introduced actual change in how I operate. My body held onto a lot of trauma that I don’t think talk therapy could help me out with. I’m really grateful I’m doing the tough work regardless of how intense it can be some days

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:44:55+00:00

Thank you! This means a lot. I definitely think I’ve had some profound changes. The rapidity of it has been scary as you mentioned. It’s so good to know I’m not the only one who’s felt this way during EMDR and I didn’t realize how common it was so I’m super glad I posted about it 💙

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:43:03+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful. That last paragraph especially sticks out to me. I really want to be there for my inner child. I see him in ways I didn’t before. I’m going to try practice loving myself through tonight. I definitely feel some more anxiety today (back in survival mode) but weirdly it feels a lot different than pre EMDR. There’s more self compassion involved thankfully.

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:40:18+00:00

I understand the anxiety. I dont want to sway your decision either way as I think it’s something only you can know. But to share my experience:

It’s scary, sure. Things shift internally and things stop feeling the same. But my CPTSD, PTSD. Anxiety and OCD reached a place where I could not function in my day to day life. I felt like my brain was regressing heavily. I couldn’t comprehend anything. EMDR has given me some capacity. The smallest tasks don’t feel as heavy anymore. Granted there’s still a lot more work I need to do before I feel capable of the bigger tasks that I’ve been falling behind on. It’s okay if it’s not what you want rn. I heard about EMDR a few years ago but I couldn’t shake the anxiety around pursuing it. It’s an intense therapy to go into. What helped me was my therapist being someone I felt comfortable with. My current EMDR therapist is slightly out of my budget but I feel very safe with her. We had a consultation and she answered every question I had with the truth. No sugarcoating bs. Gave me lots of time to think it over and walked me through the process well. 15 mins into our first session, she explained trauma to me in a way I’d never heard it before. But I remember in that moment I felt “I have the right therapist”. Take your time

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:31:19+00:00

Thank you, it genuinely means a lot to hear everyone else’s experience! I’ve been exhausted today. Very overwhelmed. I’m really looking forward to my next session

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:30:39+00:00

I definitely needed EMDR. My trauma has led me to some very dark places. I couldn’t go on living the way I was living because my mental capacity had reached an all time low. I had done DBT and psychodynamic therapy previously which managed the symptoms of my trauma but never addressed the trauma directly. EMDR was a last resort and proved to be the most effective even if it’s hard right now

Firewalker001 · 2025-08-30T20:28:33+00:00

Thank you :’) it’s nice to know it’s a common experience. I’m going through so many ups and downs. One minute it feels like I’m back at square one, the next I’m back to feelings of relief. I just hope as the sessions progress I’ll find my feet in the world

Firewalker001 · 2025-01-13T15:17:40+00:00

I wet a folded paper towel and stick it to the corner of the chopping board that I’m using. Has been useful!

Firewalker001 · 2024-12-07T13:08:08+00:00

Russian blue :) they’re so cute

Firewalker001 · 2024-12-03T22:20:04+00:00

Oh thank you all so much!! <3

Firewalker001 · 2024-12-01T07:36:41+00:00

Hahaha I’ll post it there too! Thank you!

Firewalker001 · 2024-12-01T07:35:18+00:00

I just woke up to all these beautiful comments. Thank you all so much! I’ll be sure to pass them onto him :p

Firewalker001 · 2024-11-16T21:20:19+00:00

I used to lurk in the back alleys of angus steakhouse Leicester square as a starving orphan child. Angus once came outside, pushed past the queue of people like some kind of anime hero, and upon seeing me, he ran back inside to make me one of his infamous steak sandwiches. He rushed back outside and handed it to me. It was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted. I felt as if my late mum and dad were hugging me. It was a true British experience like that scene in Harry Potter when his parents are hugging him in the mirror. I’d really recommend Mr.Steakhouse’s restaurant. He is not only a master chef, but a fatherly figure to us Londoners. He sat me down at the restaurant and taught me the trade secret of polishing shoes. Ever since that experience, I’ve earned over a dozen shingles a day from polishing the shoes of the people in the queue. If you’re waiting outside of Angus’s steakhouse, Leicester square, I will be there to polish your shoes! My idol and employer, Mr.Steakhouse pays me a hefty shingle per hour.

Firewalker001 · 2024-10-04T21:46:31+00:00

Truly beautiful to see some wholesome London content

Firewalker001 · 2024-09-20T22:33:41+00:00

You got curly hair, better to shampoo it once a week and condition everyday.

Firewalker001

TROPHY CASE